The atmosphere is so heated, and the statements are getting more and more extreme. Let’s just assume Harris wins the election. After a campaign like this, how could you ever have a normal relationship with your pro-Trump neighbor/father-in-law/Uncle/Barber or what ever again?

  • Admiral Patrick@dubvee.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    94
    ·
    edit-2
    17 days ago

    After a campaign like this, how could you ever have a normal relationship with your pro-Trump neighbor/father-in-law/Uncle/Barber or what ever again?

    You’re assuming those relationships survived the 2020 election. For many, myself included, they didn’t.

    I was willing to overlook 2016, but after 4 years of horror culminating in a (failed) coup, and those people still supporting him, I just cut them out of my life.

    • JubilantJaguar@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      17 days ago

      That’s understandable. It’s also, in microcosm, the reason your country is so divided. If you want to continue living in a democracy, you’re all going to have to talk - and listen - to each other.

      • Admiral Patrick@dubvee.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        17 days ago

        I don’t disagree at all. However, that is a whole lot easier said than done when one side is so far gone in an alternate reality of lies and hate.

        We’re going to need a mass cult de-programming or something. I just don’t know how we come back from where we are.

        • JubilantJaguar@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          17 days ago

          What you think about them, they think about you. They’re not evil, they’re not idiots. If they lived nextdoor you would probably find each other very pleasant.

          I just don’t know how we come back from where we are.

          It looks pretty simple from where I’m standing. You talk to them. You listen to them. You find things you agree on, beginning with the smaller things. They’re not automatons, they’re people.

          • femtech@midwest.social
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            17 days ago

            Naw, maybe you’re not queer and not being called a pedo, or followed or having your job threatened by a former president. It’s not my job to raise an adult right and free of hate, I have one child. I don’t need to burn myself out giving Republicans 3rd and 4th chances to be decent people.

      • Infinite@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        17 days ago

        In all seriousness, how does one listen to and communicate with people who have slid so far down a misinformation hole to a place where science is fake, every expert who disagrees is part of a global conspiracy, and the only people they listen to literally can’t stop lying?>

        I still talk to and value my mother, and believe she is a good person, but she’s fallen prey to insidious propaganda and believes that Trump is just a flawed tool for God and the Republican platform is the only way to save the world from the forces of evil.


        As an aside, my favorite conspiracy theory was how all the governments of the world were collaborating on the COVID lockdowns so they could control the people and take power. The governments capable of national lockdowns could take power. 🤦🏼‍♂️

  • SassyRamen@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    54
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    17 days ago

    My dad is on his death bed, I haven’t spoken to him in years, because he’s full on MAGA. It breaks my heart that I lost my dad to that cult and that I’ll lose him forever soon, but I will never forgive him for supporting the scum that is proud he stole womens rights.

    So to answer your question, being sad and waiting for tomorrow.

    • Tower@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      17 days ago

      To those giving you shit about cutting horrible people out of your life and saying you need to go visit…

      Bullshit. Fuck that noise. I have family that I’ve cut out as well (although, luckily, not my parents). I’m 100% open to them rejoining my life, but their hatred for others is stronger than their love for me, and I won’t allow them back until that changes. Spoiler alert: it probably never will, because there’s no love like Christian “love”.

      “Agree to disagree” is reserved for things like “I don’t like coffee.” Not racism, homophobia, and sexism. Not human rights. Not basic common decency. If I unfriend you during this, it IS personal. We do not have a difference of opinion. We have a difference in morality.

      • @cdvaughn16, Twitter, 2020-06-05
    • BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      17 days ago

      My dad is also MAGA but thankfully not very outspoken about it or I couldn’t stand to be around him. I’m still quite pissed at Trump and his cult following for putting the thought into my head that his death could be a net benefit to society.

    • Orbituary@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      12
      ·
      17 days ago

      Blood is thicker than your dad’s skull. Be bigger than him and hug him before he leaves you forever if it’s possible for you. Fuck the MAGA cultist mentality. Overcome his stubbornness and pride.

      • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        29
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        17 days ago

        People are not owed love by circumstances of biological relation. They made the bed they lie in, actions have consequences, bridges can burn.

        • _bcron_@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          17 days ago

          Given enough time person might look at their dad less like the asshole and more like the victim of a scam perpetrated by the real asshole, but life is tricky like that

        • Orbituary@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          6
          ·
          edit-2
          17 days ago

          Agreed. I said “if it’s possible.” Pride is a real motherfucker for some, but I think it can be overcome. Hopefully they can do so with their dad.

    • Alice@hilariouschaos.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      50
      ·
      17 days ago

      Your father is going to pass away and you’re really gunna let politics affect your relationship with him like that?

      Looks like you’re the one in a cult. I feel bad for your pops

      • niucllos@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        36
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        17 days ago

        GTFO with that “politics” bullshit. It stopped being a purely political difference when Trump made it about racism, sexism, and all other possible forms of bigotry. It stopped being about purely bigotry when he tried to stage a coup.

        Above and beyond, you don’t know their life. Maybe they needed a life-saving abortion and their father gleefully cackled when that right was effectively removed in many states. Maybe they’re black and their father bragged about the shootings of black folks, they’re latin and he chortled over the deportation rhetoric, or they’re Muslim and he rubbed the travel bans in their face. Maybe they have/had long COVID and their father gave it to them because “it’s a hoax.” There are so many reasons for cutting MAGA idiots out of your life and Trump’s political policy is the least of them

      • ALQ@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        34
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        17 days ago

        Unfortunately, when “politics” equals “whether certain people deserve basic human rights,” it’s not a minor issue. I don’t keep company with people who think I’m subhuman.

      • lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        28
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        17 days ago

        You say ‘politics’ like it is some trivial thing. Politics involves beliefs on personhood, human rights, racism, equity, crime and punishment, and fundamental ideas about morality. I think it is totally appropriate to make judgments about a person’s character based on their politics.

      • thefartographer@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        17 days ago

        Let’s say your mom needs chemo treatments and can’t drive herself. You wanna be good to your mom and drive her, but she’s recently developed a behavior from the stress and medication that when she’s in a car with someone, she fights with the driver trying to grab the steering wheel and aim the car at pedestrians.

        It’s not her fault that she’s developed this behavior, but you’d think she could at least control herself and stop trying to run over pedestrians, but she says she doesn’t want to. Technically, since you’re driving, you could convince the police that you’re actually the one trying to commit vehicular manslaughter, so while you could deflect the blame, you really know it’s her own fault.

        You could also physically restrain your mom, except for all those pesky elder-abuse laws and what kind of person would do that to their mother anyway?

        So, what are you gonna do? Will you be a complicit party to your mom’s desire to see pedestrians run over, or will you stop letting her into your car and let her ride the train and bus like an adult? Remember, she’s dying from cancer, but lots of other people experience intrusive thoughts without acting on them and lots of other people don’t have family to support them but still manage just fine.

        So, what’s your answer? Support your mom and tell her it’s okay to try killing/hurting people, or let her figure things out for herself and hope that she comes to her senses? She could always prove to you that she realized her behavior was wrong and that she’s ready to ride in the car with you.

        And don’t worry, no matter what you answer, I’m still going to call you an asshole, because that’s how reductive internet trolls work. Cuz “fuck you, this is your mom, damn,” and “it’s just simple defensive driving.”

      • Jackthelad@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        30
        ·
        17 days ago

        Yeah, I really can’t understand this. I have family and friends who vote differently to me, but I would never let that get in the way of our relationship, and I can’t understand the mentality of people who do.

        I mean, if someone I knew turned out to be a full on neo-Nazi, then I’d steer well clear. But if someone just votes for the other main party to the one I do, who cares?

        • Grimy@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          15
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          17 days ago

          If my father was on his death bed, chances are I’d put most of it behind me and would ignore a lot of past transgressions.

          OPs actions are a bit extreme. That being said, there isn’t much that separates a neo-nazi from a trump supporter in my mind. I can’t imagine anyone supporting him that isnt a complete piece of shit, and it is 100% a valid reason for cutting ties with people.

          • Shadywack@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            15
            ·
            17 days ago

            Politics change, but blood is thicker than water. The way people are writing off family instead of just talking to them is awful.

            • Blackbeard@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              16
              ·
              17 days ago

              The way people are writing off family instead of just talking to them is awful.

              What makes you think we haven’t tried talking to them?

              • Shadywack@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                17 days ago

                What makes you think we haven’t tried talking to them? Often times that detail is left out, and what you see or hear about is how they just don’t talk anymore.

                • Blackbeard@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  4
                  ·
                  17 days ago

                  Trust me, most of us have tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried. Some certainly may have preemptively cut people out without discussion, but most of us have beaten our heads against a wall for almost a decade now, trying to convince them that we’re human beings with dignity who deserve respect. We just withdraw from engagement, piece by piece, until there’s nothing lost by just giving up. Cutting them off is usually the last and most consequential move, rather than the first.

        • agent_nycto@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          17 days ago

          The problem is that said political party is in bed with if not just straight up neo Nazis now. Maybe ten years ago your perspective would be reasonable but it simply isn’t anymore.

        • JayTreeman@fedia.io
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          18
          ·
          17 days ago

          Libs think there’s a difference between the parties and the Republicans are fascist. Republicans don’t see an actual difference which is where you’re at. Leftists don’t see a difference, but think both sides are fascists. I don’t sit down with fascists, but you do you

          • Jackthelad@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            7
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            17 days ago

            You assume my entire political philosophy and views based on the fact I’m civil with people?

            For the record, I’m in the UK and would vote Harris in the States.

            • JayTreeman@fedia.io
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              17
              ·
              17 days ago

              Frankly, I think I nailed it. You’re comfortable around fascists because you’re supportive of fascists. Harris is a fascist, so is Trump. Without going into your comment history, I’m betting that you support the bombing of gaza. That you might understand that crime is a social construct, but also that criminals should be punished sometimes severely. It’s OK that you think it’s OK to sit down with a fascist. I’m of the opinion that it’s OK to punch them.

              • palordrolap@fedia.io
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                0
                ·
                16 days ago

                Only one of the two candidates is talking about turning the US into a dictatorship with them at the helm.

                • JayTreeman@fedia.io
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  0
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  16 days ago

                  You’re right. The supreme court has said that the president can’t do anything illegally. What have the democrats done to reverse that? The democrats do the same things as republicans, but they’re more palatable. There’s a lot of people on the left that think Trump is the harm reduction candidate because people are upset when he does things.

  • shoulderoforion@fedia.io
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    46
    ·
    17 days ago

    you don’t. women have lost their federally protect right to an abortion since trump packed the court the last time, there are more than a million less people alive in the United States today from a mismanaged federal global pandemic response because trump was in the big chair the last time. you don’t get back to normal when fascism wins.

  • shyguyblue@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    39
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    17 days ago

    Short answer: I bite back now.

    Long answer: My parents are hard-R Republicans. Every time they start getting all “demoncrats r bad” i just ask them, “Why do you want me dead so fucking bad? I know from being raised by you that you fucking hated me growing up, but to vote for “gays should be executed”? This is exactly why you didn’t have grandkids, the thought of putting more of your hate in the world is abhorrent to me…”

    I’ve only had to pull that one out twice, so far, but it hits them hard when they still (I’m a few months away from 40) insist I “give them grandkids”.

    • kitnaht@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      17 days ago

      I’ve known many people to be like this, they just want to slink back, and ignore the blatant. Thank you for having the balls to step up and bite back. People like you are the reason I don’t see almost ANY Trump flags in my neighborhood this year. It’s a cult of personality that nobody else has quite been able to achieve. Once he’s gone for good, things can get back to semi-normal. We still have to be vigilant about the shit Republicans are doing, but at least maybe at that point some family ties will begin to heal.

  • That_Devil_Girl@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    33
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    17 days ago

    You can’t go back. This isn’t just a political difference of opinion, this is a full blown violent cult. We need greater funding for mental health and deprogramming services.

  • bl_r@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    cake
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    20
    ·
    17 days ago

    You don’t.

    I haven’t talked to parts of my family the same way I used to. We don’t seek each other out anymore, though some people who do still have connections means we will still see each other for big events like thanksgiving or by happenstance.

    Some of them probably think i’m an evil satan worshipping communist based on the last time we argued politics, which was either late 2015 or early to mid 2016, and I was your average slightly socialistic leftist who had just learned about Bernie’s policies for the first time.

    With the genocide going on, i feel even more isolated, since I have some family who are harris voters who support israel, and aren’t exactly happy about how vocal I am about palestine. Christian liberal zionism hasn’t been something I could talk people out of.

  • HuntressHimbo@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    17 days ago

    I cut them out. Don’t remember where I heard the quote but there was one that goes something like “Our values are so different that any relationship we could have that doesn’t fall to violence cannot be a genuine one.” Essentially we care about things that are too different to be able to talk to each other honestly and get along.

  • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    17 days ago

    you can’t reason with unreasonable people. it’s literally impossible to have a discussion with someone who dismisses everything they don’t like to hear as “fake news”

    as another person commented, it requires serious deprogramming to get rid of the cult brainwashing, and that is not a simple, quick, or easy process

    to answer the question: you have to get to a point where you can burn those bridges and not look back, because toxic relationships destroy mental health

  • itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    17 days ago

    We don’t. The hate continues to rise and election season never ends. Well, the never-ending election season might be ending real soon if someone gets their way.

  • thezeesystem@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    17 days ago

    If pro Trump. Your pro fascist. Your activity involved in wanting me and everyone I love to be dead or enslaved.

    I cut out all fascists from my life. Always have been. So really nothing really will change for the people I talk too.

  • linkinkampf19@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    17 days ago

    Had to cut out both my parents and sibling due to their homophobic remarks and my coming to terms with being gay. The politics just furthered the gap, and the last time I spoke with them in early 2023, “It’s all about that woke generation” came out of my dad’s mouth and that was the end. I don’t expect to hear about their passing, and I’m not sure I’ll care, despite them seemingly raising me to be a decent person. These are two humans who canvassed for Obama in '08 & '12, so it was sad to see them devolve.