I think for me, its either:
(Ranked by most to least likely)
- Heart Attack
- Suicide (Probably by Jumping)
- Hit by a vehicle
- Murdered by a family member
Suicide is your #2? Murdered specifically by a family member is higher than cancer?
Mate, do you need to talk?
Thinking the same thing.
Generally speaking, people are bad at understanding the odds/chances of something in the real world applying to them.
Everyone should be terrified of cancer, it’s the #1 killer. But nobody puts it on their list because it either feels obvious, or by not giving it the time of day people feel like they won’t “get it”. This sort of response from people is normal.
With that said, they specifically call out the way they’re going to commit suicide, so yeah, you’re still right to ask they’re doing ok…
Trying to pet something I shouldn’t.
I work in IT so absolutely something heart related.
Electrocuted by equipment belonging to the AHA?
Na, already been zapped at 240v mains voltage didn’t do much.
I would read a book about a mild-mannered IT expert who simply can’t be killed, but otherwise goes about their job normally.
Problem is if you work in IT long enough you aren’t mild mannered anymore because of how dumb people are and how no one listens to you.
I would also read a book about an IT expert that curses under their breath frequently.
That’s everyone in IT
Then, they need to write novels. Here are some suggestions to help them get started:
To Code a Mockingbird
Pride and Protocols
The Git Gatsby
The Old Man and the C
Java Eyre
Brave New Web
The Lord of the Pings
The Catcher in the GUI
Crime and Compilation
A Tale of Two Servers
Wuthering .htaccess
Anna Kernel-nina
Great Exceptions
some prick in an oversized truck
Or someone texting and driving.
I wanted to agree but then I remembered my last scooter accident had nothing to do with a bad car driver and everything to do with me getting distracted by dogs and crashing into a fence. Thankfully for everyone else and myself I stick to bike trails and try not to venture into real traffic.
Exsanguination by an unusually sharp pizza roll.
“He died how he lived.” They’ll say.
Gas station pizza roll? Respect.
That’s just how I roll.
Definitely heart.
Here’s my story, please take from it and do not do what I did… (LONG STORY)
First heart attack was 3 days after Thanksgiving, 2018. It presented as really bad heartburn. 24 hour a day heartburn. Unrelenting, unresponsive to Pepto heartburn.
In my defense it WAS 3 days after Thanksgiving, and I DID have that extra plate of sweet potatoes.
Monday, heartburn all day, hard to sleep.
Tuesday, same.
Wednesday, same + nausea and vomiting, called out sick from work (yes, I worked Mon/Tue).Thursday… The heartburn pain moved into my upper arms, which I did not know was a thing. The pain in my chest was gone, but it felt like I had a STONE in the center of my chest, heavy, pulling down on my innards.
Advice line sent me to the ER, ER ran a simple Troponin blood test, normal is 0-99, mine was 328. Confirming the heart attack but at this point the damage was done and the only fix was an open heart bypass. Doc tells me the heavy feeling was my heart, each heartbeat was only pumping out 30% the normal amount which is right on the line between “walking around, talking to people”, and no longer “walking around, talking to people.”
Thu-Sun - Cardiac Ward.
Mon - Open Heart Surgery, ICU.
Tue - ICU.
Wed-Fri - Cardiac Ward, and back home.1/2/2019 - I start having complications. If I lie down, I can’t breathe, it’s like I’m drowning in my own bed… BUUUUT… My company got acquired by a new one on 1/1 which meant my health insurance changed, I lost my hospital and all of my doctors and had to start over in a new medical system with the new insurance.
“Oh, you can’t just ‘go’ to Cardology, you have to see primary care first, and there’s a 3 month wait.”
Twisted some arms, explained I just got cut open like a lobster and couldn’t breathe, got an appt. in 2 weeks.
So I bought a fancy travel pillow and slept sitting up for 2 weeks since laying down would drown me.
Primary care checks me out, sends me home, says “Wait for my call.” Call comes the next day… Congestive Heart Failure, get to the ER immediately.
I had developed an irregular heartbeat and my chest was full of fluid, when I would lay down, the fluid would level, crushing my heart and lungs. That feeling like I was drowning? Yeah, I was drowning, in my own chest fluid.
7 days in the hospital, they pulled 4 liters of fluid out EVERY DAY. 48 pounds of fluid.
Over the course of 2019 it was one complication after another after another. We continued juggling meds of different types and dosages.
By 2024 I had a bout where I was seriously out of breath, not like the CHF drowning thing, but I’d get out of breath walking to the bathroom.
Doc sends me to the ER where I have the 2nd heart attack. In the middle of a snow and ice storm. And a power outage.
“Did I just have a stroke?”
“Naw, it’s cool, emergency generator just kicked in…”
Because of the snow and ice, I couldn’t get to my preferred hospital, I had to go to the closest one, which wasn’t the best one.
They did confirm the heart attack, and ran an angiogram to confirm I needed a stent, but couldn’t do the stent. I’d have to be ambulanced to the GOOD hospital for the stent.
BUUUT… emergency services were overloaded due to the storm and the ambulance couldn’t get there right away.
First night in the hospital… wake up at 6 AM, fiddling around on my phone, hey, Lemmy aint gonna moderate itself!
Nurse comes in:
“Were you asleep about an hour ago?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Your heart rate dropped to 40.”
“Ummm… is that bad? I don’t know these things.”
Yeah, it’s bad.
So ambulance still can’t get there… One more night in the hospital. Same deal. Next morning, same nurse comes in.
“Were you asleep about an hour ago?”
“Yeah, why? Heart rate again?”
“No, your heart stopped for 8 seconds.”
“Ummm… ‘thank you’? I don’t know what the correct response is to ‘your heart stopped’. Shouldn’t the alarms and stuff have gone off? I don’t remember hearing anything.”
“Oh, they don’t go off in the room, they went off at the nurses station.”
Ambulance finally arrived, got me to the GOOD hospital, and I got the stent and survived.
Wow. I hear stories like this and think “we need socialism.”
“Did the alarm go off an hour ago or just now?” lol.
That’s a crazy fucking story. A bit of a scared straight moment for me, though I’m not really sure what I should be changing. Heart stuff really freaks me out, and I guess the idea that it could manifest as something so seemingly trivial is terrifying.
Change your diet and start exercising, #1 and #2. More veggies, more whole grains.
I’ve started eating this stuff from Trader Joe’s called Farro. It’s wheat, but you make it like pasta, and it’s a rice form factor. Super tasty.
https://www.traderjoes.com/home/products/pdp/10-minute-farro-094506
Definitely self inflicted, possibly physician assisted, family has a history of degenerative neural diseases and I’m not gonna go out that way
My heart. All of my grand parents and other close family have died 30’s - 40’s from heart failure. My brother was 3 weeks ago in the ER because of his heart. He’s 38. 🤷
Dude… Go get screened for heart problems right away. You know you have a high likelihood of issues with your heart, so if you tackle them now instead of when they become serious, you up your odds of outliving your grandparents considerably.
I got checked a few years ago, have calcium build up in an artery, but other than that my heart was healthy. Thanks for looking out, I appreciate it.
Possibly the terminal velocity anvil above my
Rest in pancake
some preventable illness that was accelerated or induced by stress.
Like most autistic people.
For profit healthcare. Not a direct cause most likely, but indirectly by shaving years off of my life in pursuit of profits due to denying care.
i don’t know but at my funeral i want to be fired out of a cannon with confetti
Maybe they will incorrectly claim you’ve died, and then your cause of death will be being fired out of a cannon with confetti. That’d be one for the record books.
Have a motion activated speaker in your pocket so that when you do get fired, it screams “wait, I’m aliiiiiive… aaaaargh!”
I think I got the cancer punch card. Both paternal grandparents, and my dad (unsure about Mom, not in the picture) had cancer. Lost both grandparents and dad is currently undergoing treatment.
Yay.
All of my aunts and uncles on one side have had it, including my dad. Various types. Just found out my cousin also has it so that kind of wiped out my slim hope that they had been exposed to something environmental instead of it being genetic.
On March 4th, 2033 at 6:32am local time I will trip and fall walking downstairs. Where I will smack my head on the newel post at the bottom, breaking my neck and causing a severe skull fracture. I will lie semi-conscious on the floor for the next 16 minutes and 27 seconds before expiring at 6:50am local time.
I don’t know what happens after that.
Lol, that was going to be no 3 on my list. I’m at an age where I don’t fall over, I “have a fall”, and my own stupid feet are a trip hazard. It’s going to kill me one of these days, if heart disease or cancer doesn’t get me first.
Must be nice having an exact time to work towards!
Barring any sort of major accident. Almost certainly suicide.
But not in an “I’m depressed, get me out of here by any means necessary kind of way.”
More in the, if I have terminal disease, or am otherwise going to be suffering a slow painful death, or I’ll be a burden to those around me because of health limitations, I’ll take myself out of the equation quite logically and happily.
So in that regard, there are only two possibilities; sudden accident, or taking care of it myself when the alternative is a slow decline.
And yes, old age is just another terminal disease, just on a longer timescale.
