Dude, time is stopped. You can keep going until you want time to start again. And I’ve got a list for you:

• Every single kiddy diddler? Suddenly in prison, with piles of evidence of their crimes.
• You can solve every missing persons report where anyone is still alive. It’ll take you a while, but you’ve got the “time.”
• Every bribe of every politician - and especially justices of the Supreme Court - exposed with thorough documentation.
• Go around and erase all medical debt and all student debt. All of it. Use some of Elon’s money to do it.
• Find and reunite families that were split up by Trump’s family separation policies.
• Cut Russia off from the internet entirely. They’ve demonstrated that they’re not ready to join the broader civilized community. Pay special attention to permanently offlining the “Internet Research Agency.”

I’m sure I could come up with more.

40 dollars? That’s all? I’m salaried and can work any hours I want to, so I guess I’m logging in at work and writing a few lines of code or answering some emails.

Twenty minutes will do it. Probably round it up to half an hour just to be safe. And honestly, if I get into the zone, an hour will fly by, easy.

I like it, but I don’t nerd out about it.

Ha! My glob, she was so amazing. I had the opportunity to attend a reading she did from The Lathe of Heaven years ago, and I was struck anew not only by her creativity, but by the philosophical ideas underpinning it. A lot of people think The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas is her most philosophical work, but I actually found what Lathe had to say about control, obedience, and power incredibly compelling.

Oh, goddamn it, this is gonna take a while.

• Code. Like, I actually get real pleasure from seeing elegant and well-structured code. I have no idea why, but I’ll almost start salivating at particularly beautiful code.
• Anime. Yeah, I’m a walking stereotype, a software developer who likes anime. But have you seen Frieren? It’s so goddamn good.
• Philosophy. No, not bullshit continental philosophy. I’m talking real philosophy. Analytic philosophy. Distilled and legitimately useful logic. Which of course leads me to…
• Science. My YouTube feed is full of fascinating deep-dives into esoteric mathematical and scientific topics. Fuck yeah.
• Tabletop RPGs. Surprisingly, not a huge D&D fan, though it can certainly be fun. These days, I’m much more into story-focused systems, like Fate or Blades in the Dark. Most people I mention that to have never heard of either.
• Science fiction and fantasy. I mean, are you surprised at this point?
• Writing science fiction and fantasy. I mean, are you surprised at this point?
• Politics. Less so nowadays, since our political system is falling apart and we’re being overrun by fascism, but I still do enjoy a meaty policy discussion.

That’s a good list for starters.

Yep. Premiered in 2013, so it meets the OP’s requirements.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for my fiber supplement, and Matlock will be on the television box soon, so I’d better go.

Le plus drôle c’est que je parle français. Très amusant, n’est-ce pas?

Well, they don’t hate me, but they do get tired of French people sounding out our shared username and then making jokes about it.

Beginning of Stray: “Oh, this cat game is so cute!”

End of Stray: [Hey, come see this big, grown-ass adult guy start ugly-crying!]

You should read the community info on the sidebar. In short, this is a humorous community that shares real news stories that seem like they could be from The Onion.

So posts should be actual links to news reports with their original headlines, but only news stories that are weird enough that they read like headlines from The Onion are appropriate.

The name “Not The Onion” is a joke, because the news stories here are supposed to be real but make you think you’re reading satire.

Uh, re-read the post. Political news stories aren’t banned here, they just have to have headlines that read like they’re from The Onion. Lots of political posts here haven’t been Onion-like at all. That’s what’s against the rules.

France. Specifically, a little town called Ardres. J’ai passé des vacances là-bas. C’était incroyable. Nous avons loué un gîte à la campagne. Je retournerais si je pouvais.

J’adore la France.

Kind of a weird one, but the beginning theme to the original Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex has stuck with me.

The song is called “Inner Universe,” but the lyrics are Russian.

https://youtu.be/dP4t_GGl3Es

Dude… Go get screened for heart problems right away. You know you have a high likelihood of issues with your heart, so if you tackle them now instead of when they become serious, you up your odds of outliving your grandparents considerably.

Hmmm. If 10 is average and 30 is world-class…

• Strength: 13. I’m a big and fairly muscular guy who goes to the gym regularly.
• Dexterity: 10 (+1). I’m not clumsy, but I’m no gymnast, either. Strictly average, all things considered. I give myself one bonus point on account of being ambidextrous.
• Constitution : 12. Again, regular at the gym. Should probably do more cardio, though.
• Intelligence: 15. I’m a software developer, I’m working on being bilingual, and I have a lot of varied interests. You’ll also note that I can spell and use punctuation properly, which is sadly outside the norm. I’m not bragging, I know I’m well above average in intelligence.
• Wisdom: 10. I’m not the stereotype of a book-smart-but-foolish person, but I’m also smart enough to know I’m not winning any hypothetical wisdom awards. I’ve made average amounts of boneheaded mistakes.
• Charisma: 12 (+1). I’m a better-than-average public speaker, and I have it on good authority (my wife) that I’m reasonably handsome. I also get the (completely unfair) tallness modifier.

All in all, my D&D stats would be pretty decent. Nothing anywhere near the peak of human potential, but not bad.