Bonus points if someone warned you and you went ahead anyway.
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If you feel like you don’t need your medication anymore, that means the medication is working, and doing what it was prescribed to do.
You get a bigger raise by just getting a new job.
And…
HR is there to protect the company, not you.
Your grandparents/parents had a whole life before you. Loves, wishes, likes, dislikes. You can ask them about literally any topic in the world and they will probably be happy to talk to you about it. Where was their first holiday? What did they watch on TV, who was their hero, what job did they actually want to do.
One day they will be gone before you if life goes the natural way and it will be too late to ask and you may regret not taking a moment for a chat.
Along with asking them things, go do shit with them when they show interest in things you might like, you never know if you’ll get that chance again.
I still remember turning my grandfather down on a trip to go see Sue (the big fukkin TRex) when I was younger because I was playing with a friend that day and was a little shit. That memory is like a core regret, and I don’t think he ever made an offer like that again…
Before you share unasked for information with someone consider these two points:
- Is this a teachable moment?
- Does this person want to be taught?
If the answer is No to either one or both, keep to yourself.
In related news: Sometimes people want to vent, sometimes they want solutions. If you don’t know which one is needed it’s okay to ask!
There’s actually a 3 question test for this.
- Does this need to be said?
- Does this need to be said by me?
- Does this need to be said by me right now?
it was explained to me one time as W.A.I.T
Why
Am
I
Talking
You forgot number 4:
- Will this person spread this misinformation to others?
Don’t speak just to speak, speak for a purpose.
This is all great advice that unfortunately I will not be able to take.
That’s sensible advice - often, sharing the info sounds like “I assume that you’re an ignorant, so let me enlighten you little thing”. And/or fails to take into account relevant, but unmentioned details.
However, when discussing in public (like here), and in more general grounds, there’s a complicating factor - the audience. Often what you say might not be useful to the person whom you’re replying to, but it might still be for someone else.
Regarding the venting sometimes people don’t want a solution they just want to vent.
That’s the point.
I feel called out D:
If you feel like you are walking on eggshells every day with your partner you are at best with the wrong person. More likely you are being abused. No, they will not improve. You can try any number of strategies for conflict resolution but the horrors will persist.
That’s also true for friends or close enough acquaintances
I was in this picture, and I still don’t like it.
That I am simply not greedy enough, ruthless enough, or duplicitous enough to be my own boss, much less the boss of anyone else.
Trigger warning: Suicide
Don’t trust a suicidal friend’s promise that they won’t off themselves and will seek help. Try everything you can to get them into therapy. Even if it will cost your friendship. It can save a life in the end
The value of a consistent circadian rhythm.
I have cultivated my circadian arrhythmia to the point where I feel rested after a 20 min nap and feel great after 4 hours of sleep. The shadow people even wave to me in code sometimes to remind me what day it is!
Relationships aren’t like goulash. They don’t reheat well. What caused the first breakup will likely cause another.
That just because someone treats you better than you’ve ever been treated before, does NOT mean that they are treating you WELL.
If you were bullied or abused as a kid, do some actual reading about what’s normal and healthy, and get out of a situation immediately if there are any even slightly concerning signs. No second chances, no guilt, no self blame, just go.
Obviously this depends on where you live and what job you want, but I learned that getting a job is less about “having skills” and more about marketing yourself. Optimizing your CV. Bragging about your work on LinkedIn. Writing a cover letter with the key words they’re looking for.
It’s all very stupid, but it matters a lot to companies.
Also, knowing the right people. Of all my positions, only two did I get by being the best unknown applicant. One was a job setting up private care medical services for the VA. The other was a research assistant position in my Master’s program^1 . All the rest were by people that knew me, so they recruited me specifically. Of course I had to be a good performer to be recruited, but they still knew me before applying.
1: While it wasn’t stated, I think that I got the position in part because they were interested in hiring a gay man for diversity purposes. This was in the 2000s, and the writing sample I submitted with my application was a sociology term paper arguing for LGBTQ rights, so they assumed I was gay. I still had to have an extraordinary application to be considered, but the likely chose me from among the top applicants for my supposed gayness. The thing is that I’m not gay or bi, so I kind of felt bad about it once I started thinking that’s why they recruited me 😕
Thinking about my career, I think you’re right. Of the industry jobs I’ve had, only 1 of them I got without knowing someone in the company or being referred to the company by a mutual 3rd party.
Ironically, the job I got on my own is the best paying by far.
Don’t go to a foreign country without travel insurance. I almost died and was threatened with arrest for being unable to pay the hospital bill.
I have travel insurance, but I had a near miss with a tooth infection I got right after I got back from the usa
It took me years of reading, talking, and thinking to break religious childhood indoctrination. Being able to let go of a fear of hell was a big step near the end I think.
That if you’re happier alone, you should stay that way.
Heck yes. You do you!
Way too many people tried to tell me what’s supposedly good for me. But in the end the best decision I made was to stop listening
Backups are important. Having your OS die 2 days before a deadline isn’t fun.
I kinda enjoy the restore process too
