• 1 Post
  • 105 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 15th, 2023

help-circle





  • My family plays heavyweight games, and enjoy strategy (whether it’s a “strategic” game or not). We mostly get along well (though we’ve had to ban a couple games that got too heated too often), but we’re quite competitive and we put a lot of thought into games when we play.

    My wife’s family is the polar opposite. They seem to enjoy passing cards or pieces around without much reason or goal (they often play pure-luck games). The first time I sat down to a game of Rummykub with them, I won the first three games in a row, and it wasn’t close. Fortunately I had the sense to pull back a bit, but then it was super boring. Finally I gave myself a new goal–each game, I mentally chose another player at the table and would subtly play to see if I could get them to win. I had about a 3/4 success rate on that, and the whole experience was more enjoyable for everyone.




  • Math! Also, noise!

    There are algorithms (a set of math steps) that make pseudo-random numbers. These usually involve large prime numbers, because those usually generate fewer repeating patterns.

    A truly random number generator is similar to rolling dice: you use some source of randomness and convert it to a number. All electric circuits produce “noise” (which is often received radio waves and such that interfere with the circuits). Think of tuning a radio to a channel with nothing on it–you get “white noise”, which can be a good source of random information. Then all you need to do is convert that to a range of numbers, and you’re good to go.

    These are fairly simplified explanations, so take them with a grain of salt, but they give the general idea.


  • I’ll echo the “see a therapist if it’s feasible” recommendations. Here’s another possibility:

    We all have a worldview, and that includes our own understanding of who we are. One of the possible reasons for self-sabotage is when we believe ourselves to be a certain way (or that we do/don’t deserve something), we tend to self correct for any anomalies, whether good or bad. That is, if I was treated poorly as a child, or otherwise lacked the love and support that children need, I might believe myself to be unlovable and “correct” anything that contradicts that understanding (such as someone showing interest in me).

    It could be that, or any number of other things. I’ll echo another recommendation: take note of your emotions when you’re in those situations (you might even be able to feel them when you imagine a situation like you described). What do you feel?