I’m having some personal issues causing some severe depression and anxiety. I’d like to get past this time as fast as possible, and my days are dragging on. I can’t sleep, which would be a good way to make time go fast. But I also can’t just play video games, I don’t have the motivation to play more than a few minutes and it also just makes me realize how alone I am with no friends or anyone I can connect with emotionally and I spiral into my anxiety and depression.
I can do stuff during the day, run, chores, etc. But as soon as I’m done, especially at night, I start freaking out and it seems like time stands still. Does anyone have any suggestions? Activities I can do that are mindless that will just kill time and get me through the night before I can just go to sleep?
I know this question is stupid but I’m looking for at least somewhat serious answers.
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Seems like a great time to invest in some therapy
I actually have started therapy. But it’s only once a week. So that doesn’t really help the time aspect. That’s more of a long game
Yes, therapy is a great way to pass the time.
Audiobooks+ some other mindless activity shuts my brain off really well. Find a series you love that your library has and pick up a new sudoku or other puzzle app and go to town.
If you’re having trouble finding books I recommend a long sci fi or fantasy series. The Expanse is great, or Dune is also fantastically long. If fantasy is more your style maybe someone can recommend something but I know the wheel of time has a ton of books.
As for mindless things to do while you listen to audiobooks, either find a puzzle game or pick something up to do with your hands that requires few materials and is calming and productive. Here are a few that work for me:
Coloring (you can print out free coloring pages from the Internet like the ones here: https://www.crayola.com/free-coloring-pages/adult-coloring-pages/)
Color by number
Crochet or knitting (lots of good online tutorials and making a scarf is a good first project)
Modeling clay (just reuse the same clay over and over again if you want to save money/supplies)
Yoga
Walking on a treadmill or riding an exercise bike
Weightlifting with free weights at home
Tai chi
Best of luck, I know this type of thing is tough. Try to stick to regular wake/sleep cycles as much as possible and get outside during the day if you can, it definitely helps. Sending hugs and hoping things get better soon.
Go outside. Not in a “go touch grass” way. Explore new places and fill your days with variety and sunlight if you can. If you can’t make the time pass quickly you can at least make it more interesting. And sitting depressed in a park is a lot nicer than sitting depressed at home.
If you’re already running, vary your route a bit, or spend some time in the middle of your run sitting outside for a bit.
I don’t expect it to fix anything, I’ve heard enough of the “just try this and you’ll feel better” bullshit. But I hope it would at least help mix up your days a little.
Unfortunately, this would be gender and/or location dependent. Great advice for daylight hours, but the society we currently live in makes it perhaps less viable for women in certain areas or countries, or even in general if it’s a particularly socially deprived area.
Absolutely on board with the exercise thing though. I’ve taken to trying to waste time on an exercise bike - even an inexpensive one, or a normal bike mounted on a turbo trainer. I’m not expecting anyone to bang in speeds and times like Lance Armstrong on some special supplements, but a slow spin for longer periods of time is great fun… just get a good wide comfortable saddle!
When I need to sleep and can’t, my go to is a relatively mindless game that I’ve gotten exceedingly good at automating my way through. Something like Sudoku, solitaire (specifically Klondike), or something. Usually on a digital device so I don’t have to move too much to play and I don’t have to worry about physical cards, shuffling, etc.
If it’s a particularly bad night I can pair that with some music. I find either ambient trance or something similar, to be the best for this. One of my favorite “go the fuck to sleep” albums is called “Dreamland” by Robert Miles (may he rest in peace). Alternatively, I find nature/rain/thunderstorm sounds to be particularly calming for me, though YMMV. The calm pitter-patter of raindrops falling seems to really put me in a sleeping mood.
Combining these generally gets me ready to snooze the fastest. The other option I have is mediation, but you need to be practiced at getting into the right headspace for it to be effective. Meditation isn’t really what you’re after since you have said that basically sitting around with nothing going on is when you start to panic, which is generally how mediation begins, so I’m not sure it will be super helpful.
The only additional advice, which is a bit of an offshoot from the mediation thing, is that trying to not think is a contradiction. You can’t try not to do something; unless you have some issues with impulse control, the “act” of not doing something is the antithesis of trying. You can’t try to clear your mind, you clear your mind by not thinking, if you’re thinking about clearing your mind, then that’s a thought which, if present, precludes you having a clear mind.
You have to stop thinking, not just try to put things out of your mind, but stop all active thought and analysis. It is way easier to say, than it is to do, and I wouldn’t pretend it’s easy at all. I learned how to do this through meditation, and it’s a fat departure from how you normally operate mentally, and not an easy thing to achieve. One of the strategies I’ve used is when your brain assaults you with a thought, you recognise it’s existence, but refuse to interact/engage/analyse it at all, and just let that wash over you, and into oblivion. Again, easier said than done. Not allowing your thoughts to latch onto ideas and allowing your mind to be quiet, without commenting on, about, or examining every passing thought, does not come naturally.
I think of it a bit like this: take the example of your mind being a street in a busy city, every individual on the street is an independent thought you might engage with. This idea is a bit like sitting by yourself and watching everything around you without getting involved. Someone walks past screaming about some topic, like how the world is going to end and you just watch them walk by and don’t comment on the matter. You recognise they’re there, you just don’t get involved. Your passive demeanor does not and should not imply you either agree, nor disagree with their statements or viewpoint, you are just present, observing them making a scene. Eventually they move on to yell about it in another location and you give it no further thought.
I hope that makes sense. Of course, modern society with all the social interactions we have, whether online or in person, always gives us the option to engage in discussion about everything and we’re often encouraged to do so. People will outright ask for your opinion when having IRL conversations at times, which is a prime example of this conditioning. If you’re able to break away from the need to have an opinion on everything and anything that crosses your path, and value people’s opinions exactly as much as required, which isn’t much, then you can break free, and you don’t have to bother yourself with everyone’s opinion and making yours heard. IMO, there’s no value in sharing your opinion, especially when the recipient of that opinion has their own opinion which obviously will not change based on what you could say, so why bother even having one? It takes mental effort and time away from what’s important to you to engage in such trivialities, when the outcome is unaffected by anything you think or say. Why invest the time and effort having an opinion when nobody cares what your opinion is enough to for it to have any impact on what happens? This isn’t a value statement about you or your opinion, this is a value statement about any would be recipient of your opinion, they don’t care, that’s a problem, but it’s a problem for them to solve; your opinion is valid, and if they can’t see the validity in your opinion, why waste your time and effort creating one just so they can ignore it.
You cannot control the actions of others. You can’t change what they care about. Both of these things are issues that the opposing individual must address about themselves, that you have no way to change about them. Save yourself the grief, and just don’t bother with it. It sounds like you have enough on your plate, you don’t need to add their crap to your pile.
With all that being said, it’s a radical departure from the accepted social “norm” so it’s a lot of stuff that’s easier said than done. I’m sorry that you are going through this. I don’t know all the details and I don’t have the answers; but I’ve been though some rough shit, and it always sucks. I value you and your opinion, so if you want to reply, I’ll be happy to hear anything you wish to share. IMO, it sucks right now but the fact that you’re reaching out to anyone for help is a positive sign. Do not be afraid to ask for the help you require, it is not a sign of weakness to need help, it is a sign of strength and character to recognise that you require assistance and you are willing to ask for that assistance. It’s brave and demonstrates a strong understanding of when you are unable to handle things alone.
We all need a little help sometimes. If you want to DM me, to inquire further on anything I’ve said, or to simply rant/vent, or if you just want to chat about technology (or literally anything) as a means of distraction, I’m happy to oblige. I believe my matrix account is linked to Lemmy, so that’s also an option.
All the best OP.
Why the oddly specific time period? Is something happening in a month, or are you doing something so that you won’t feel like this in a month?
I’m in a different physical location than normal for the next month, so my routine is totally thrown off. I’m not saying I won’t feel like this in a month. I’m sure I’ll still be having issues. But that’s a different situation I’ll deal with when I get there, and I’d like to get there as soon as possible to just get this over with.
What about a bucket full of horse meth, then you didn’t need to sleep for a month?
Kind of the wrong direction there. I WANT to sleep, but I can’t.
Oh then just ignore my bad advice.
Walks. Walking past trees and other natural objects helps the mind process thoughts and emotions, from what I heard. Maybe even not just natural objects.
It engages everything, I suppose. The body and the mind.
Supposedly helps you get over stuff.
I can’t vouch for it myself, but worth giving it a go if it does work. Couldn’t hurt. Good luck, friend!
I’ve gone through bouts of depression and I know motivation is hard to come by but I think it’s difficult to be depressed when you’re in the middle of exercising. I know the ask was to make time go by faster and as someone else said certain activities can make your brain take a break. I feel like walking, running, or biking outside is a fairly good way for your muscles to do the thinking but less hamster wheel than going to a gym or exercising at home.
Also walks will make your body a bit tired which will make it easier to fall asleep and sleep better.
True. 👌
Do more things, start doing something at home that will take a long time and keep doing it until you’re so tired you can’t keep going.
That’s kind of exactly what I’m asking. What kinds of things would fall under that?
Paint a wall in a certain pattern, using multiple colors. It needs time for planning, time for buying tools, and time for execution.
Fix something. Replace dying batteries for electronics, take a look around the house, anything you can find parts on ifixit for. It requires focus and skill, gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment, and you benefit from your items longer. Also cheaper in the long run.
Tinker around the house. There’s always something broken or in a bad condition. Repaint stuff, reapply stuff.
Build something with your hands. Try woodworking.
Gardening unfortunately is usually done outside and during the day, but you could try indoors hydroponics or vertical gardening. Try to automatize it.
Learn programming. Learn hobby electronics. Arduino is easy to learn and requires both. Could help with the automatization above. You can find cheap clones and parts. You mainly work with DC under 12V, so it’s relatively safe.
Be curious. Watch Youtube videos about any subject you might find interesting, learn how stuff works, no matter how familiar or not they are. A lot of times I don’t have the patience to watch a show, but I find myself getting into a Youtube / Wikipedia rabbit hole about cryptography, programming, how games are made, how mechanical pinball machines work, lockpicking, painting, large buildings fails, quantum physics, astrophysics, photography.
Watch Cosmos, presented by Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Getting books from the library to read?
Not OP but I personally don’t have enough patience to read entire book. I just can’t. I don’t know how other people read whole book in few days.
I’m the same. I read super slow, and I just don’t enjoy it really. Audiobooks are hard for me too. I like podcasts sometimes, and I read a lot of articles and stuff like that. But books are just too much for me.
Audiobooks. Libby app for local library and countless audiobooks already covered by your library card.
I’ve listened to/read so many books. Short ones that are 4 hours or so to entire series where each book is about 20 hours or so.
Long drive? Audiobook. Yard work? Audiobook.
I find myself looking forward to the mundane chores because it gives me an excuse to get back into whatever story/book I’m enjoying.
Just fill your time by being the guy who replies “unfortunately this niche group of people I don’t belong to can’t use your advice” on every ask post reply. Some people really get a thrill out of it.
Like for instance if someone asks how they can stay hydrated and somebody replies water you could say “unfortunately some people don’t have access to clean water”, and then just let the upvotes roll in because it’s technically true. It’s going to make you feel worse in the short term because you’ll know what you’re doing, but you won’t recognize that right away or maybe ever so it’s probably a viable strategy for a month.
unfortunately some people dont have a consistent internet connection
upvotes pls
Unfortunately some people don’t have time to post that kind of bullshit on lemmy
Start a project doing something that allows you to enter a flow state. Could be programming, woodworking, knitting, anything you can reasonably do with your interests and budget. If you can find something that holds your attention it will delete time.
It’s hard to get the motivation to do a project. I’m really looking for something totally mindless. Like, exercise is a good one, but I do a lot of that during the day and it starts to get unhealthy and unproductive. I end up at night doing a lot of pacing, or stuff like that. I was hoping for something the equivalent of pacing but that isn’t physical. I don’t know. I think I’m just grasping at straws that there’s some solution to this that I haven’t thought of.
Well, let’s see…
Time in your local frame of reference slows down the closer you are to a gravitational force. This will give you the perception the rest of the universe is going much faster. However, you’d need a pretty strong gravitational force to notice any effect of it.
A black hole is one of the most powerful sources of gravity out there, but if you don’t want to waste millions of years travelling to some far away celestial body, you can find an even stronger gravitational force much closer to home:
Your mum.
