You work your whole life to be able to afford a little frivolity. If you’re just going to stand in your own way to deny yourself all but the essentials, that’s no way to live.

I give myself some amount per month to spend no questions asked, so I don’t have to feel guilty about it. If it’s more than what I give myself in a month then I either save for a while or if I have the money upfront and it needs to be bought now I diminish the amount I give myself for the next X months to compensate.

Well, I understand the struggle. I’ll look at that shiny new thing (let’s say a video card for instance) and I’ll think “well, the old works well enough, and I’ll just be throwing the old one out, or it will sit in my drawer for a decade and then I’ll throw it out”.

Or, when something breaks, I’ll think, well I could replace it, but I can probably just fix it. Surely it’s not a waste of time to spend 5 hours and $30 at the hardware store to fix a 20 year old toaster. Surely.

And I’m really quite good at fixing stuff, so the temptation is always there. And part of it is the environmental side, it just feels wrong to throw something that mostly works into a landfill. Like if that toaster won’t turn on at all, it’s probably just the power button that broke, or a thermal fuse that blew. In those cases, that’s a device that is 99% fine and the fix isn’t all that hard. I can’t bring myself to just buy a new one and unnecessarily add to my carbon footprint.

On the other hand, sometimes you just need to eat your pride. For instance, we ended up with some very difficult kids, so life has gotten challenging. And given the everyday challenges, sometimes I just need an immediate solution for things. Sure, I could fix this, sure I could probably get this media server working, sure we’re perfectly capable of cleaning up after ourselves… But right now that feels too hard so screw it, let’s just buy a new one, and to hell with the media server, we’ll just pay for Netflix and Disney+, and you know what, let’s get someone to help clean our house once a month. Sometimes it’s just about doing the things that you need to do to take care of yourself.

And yes, I needed that video card for my personal sanity.

As long as my bills are paid and I have a steady income, if I want something, I’ll usually buy it. If its something more frivolous or expensive, like the e-scooter I bought myself last year, I’ll just wait for a good sale/deal. But if its something relatively cheap (like under $100), I usually just get it.

I don’t want kids and I have no hope to ever owning a home where I live. Probably unlikely to retire unless I keep pushing at this job I have and hate but has a great pension. Might as well use my money while I can.

I have been trying to tighten up my finances though since, y’know, everything. But it’s tough when I’ve become accustomed to spoiling myself.

I put most of those types of “wants” on a timer. As in I put the link on a wishlist. If a week or two later I still actively want it and think about it and it’s within my fun money budget then I get it. More often than not I have the impulse just in the moment and forget about it again 1-2 days later.

I have high hopes the boardgames I’ve been buying lately will see the light of a game table at least once

Always have an internal dialogue argument with myself.

I’m a nut for buying crappy, used guns. All I see is an opportunity to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. I’m like that with many used goods. “What can I do with this thing?!”

Dialed it in a bit. Now I stop and think total cost of ownership. And that can be applied to many purchases. I’ll talk guns, but keep other sorts of items in mind.

How much will the initial spend really cost? Taxes, fees, shipping, etc.? Was looking at a $105 shotgun just now. Total delivered cost? $150 or so. Yeah, not such a deal with that in mind.

What do I need to go with it? Ammo I don’t have? Scope/sights? Sandpaper and stain? Sling? Butt stock pad? What will I spend to get this gun where I want it?

Bought a new, single-shot, 12-gauge Hatfield shotgun off guns.com. $129.99! I can do that! Taxes and shipping, another $20. FFL fee, another $20. Red dot sight with mount, another $130 (stupid cheap, but believe it or not, it’s quality). Strap and shotshell holder I made from spare parts I already had, still, another $25 bought new. American flag patch nailed upside down? $2. None of this includes cleaning and oiling supplies. A $130 shotgun cost me $327. Not adding anything for stain and sandpaper and such. Also, added a butt pad I already owned. Call it $350 and several nights of work. TCO was 2.7x the initial price.

So that’s my thoughts. Total Cost of Ownership. Keep it in mind.

I make a wishlist. In Excel. With a due date. For small things, six weeks wait.

For something like a motorcycle, six months wait.

Then if I still want it when that day comes I buy it

I give myself an allowance, just like when I was a kid. Whatever I spend it on is guilt free.

Budgets (formal or informal)!

• Have I covered all of my expenses? Yes.
• Have I properly funded my savings (retirement, emergency fund, other savings goals)? Yes.
• Do I have money left over? Yes!

Permission to spend granted!

Further before I buy something I’ll write it down on a list and essentially not buy it for a period of time (7 days? 30 days, a year?). I’ll come back to that list and gauge my interest again. Many, MANY times (most?) I don’t care about the thing anymore so I don’t spend the money.

Then I’ll usually try to get the cheaper version (possibly used) of the thing first to make sure it still holds my interest in using it before I would justify buying the more expensive one. So many times the cheaper version does everything I need and I never need to buy the expensive version. When I do exceed the capabilities of the cheap version, and it is still holding my interest, I can then justify spending on the expensive (new?) version. Example: I wanted a bicycle to ride around the neighborhood for fitness and enjoyment. I looked at higher end brands and models, but first I bought a $200 Big Box Store Schwinn. I’m still using that same bicycle 6 years later with no need to replace it. One note, about two years into ownership I took it to an actual bicycle store for a tune up. The cost was about $80, I think. I wish I had done that on day 1! The bike’s brakes worked much better and the gear shifting were MUCH improved! Prior to the service, I would regularly have the chain come off from bad shifts. The last time that happened was 3 years ago prior to the service.

That’s what Xmas is for. Being asked what I want by family is frustrating because I don’t really want things, and few things I do, I just buy.

So anything I might like but can’t justify buying goes into the Xmas list for other’s to buy.

Do I have the money ?

yes

Do I need to pay for something else with that money ?

no

Will I enjoy that new thing ?

yes

Let’s buy it

I want it and I have money for it. That’s all the justification I need.

Entertainment is valuable, it’s what helps us get through the stuff we don’t want to do. Looking forward to, or fondly remembering back on, the stuff we did/do for fun.

Budget for it. If what you want fits in that budget, and there is no other downside preventing you, then go for it.