I remember almost hitting a cop in a roundabout somewhere in my city because they didn’t follow the rules. It’s a double-wide roundabout, where the outer ring must make the first right they come to and only the inner ring can continue forward or make a right. I needed to make a right from the inner lane, the cop was in the outer lane and DIDN’T TAKE THE EXIT, and I almost turned into the asshole, expecting him to turn like he was supposed to.

How would you acquire winamp without the internet?

If anything, the chocolate chips are healthier than the blueberries, since chocolate has more antioxidants than blueberries.

Bah! That’s what editors are for!

Just open up notepad, start cleaning, and then use the resulting document as a word finder puzzle. Hell, if you’re really lucky you might write the next best selling novel.

I want to try WolfQuest but I ain’t spending $20 on it unless I can try it to see if I’d play it more than 10 minutes. I can’t even find a key for it on something like G2A, let alone a torrent or otherwise illegal method of obtaining it.

No, no, no! Come on! Cooper was right… This guy wants to have sex with me!

“Listen, Mieke… I don’t want to arrange any meetings with you, you sick, German freak. So please keep your hands off my genitals, and never write to me again, and don’t come to America. Goodbye.”

• EuroTrip

The biggest thing I hate about working is how everywhere I ever worked has done stupid shit like this that treats everyone like a child in a kindergarten class.

Judging by the way it walked off the roof, I have to assume that ladder hella needed to take a shit.

“Oh oh oh! It’s gonna be a photo finish!”

Is a printer an appliance? 🤔

Does it only work on a desktop now? Even before I stopped using reddit regularly, the old.reddit domain stopped being in the old reddit format, and looks no different from just going directly to reddit.com.

What if you’re in Kenya?

Why am I seeing this? ℹ️

“You are seeing this because for some reason, you’re living in 2025 without an ad blocker.”

Why the hell are people paying that much for ants? Just drop some sugar on the floor and you’ll get tons of them for free!

“Jokes.”

“Well… It’s a spaceship plane so I’d say anywhere between 0 and 1.”

Link is a parappathetappersaurus confirmed.

Some balls are held for charity, and some for fancy dress, but when they’re held for pleasure, they’re the balls I like best.

I was just assuming the fryer or other actual weaponry (like knives) wouldn’t do any lasting damage to the supernatural horror pursuing me. But Home Alone style mayhem would be fun. Incorporate the grills, the fryer, etc into a Rube Goldberg machine of pain.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from horror movies it’s that unless you have some weird satanic ritual, nothing can stop the bad guy.

But also, I’m a janitor at McDonald’s; I could probably slow them down with soapy water or even just leaving the floor oily. I doubt they wear non-slip shoes. Pull some Scooby Doo shit, slick up the floor, Jason comes after me and slides into the freezer, which I then lock.