What qualities do you covet?
I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It’s weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I’m charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I’ve managed now at every job I’ve held) and I’m a loving and supportive father. But deep down I’m still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.
I don’t know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don’t think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I’m so proud of her.
That I was as socially confident as other people seem to be, I don’t care if it’s all a facade, I want to be able to use the facade.
What helps me is knowing that everyone is fucking awkward.
I’ve met thousands upon thousands of people and I have never met anyone who is not socially awkward, just a lot of people who are socially skilled in different ways.
The people who don’t come across as awkward are the people who acknowledge their awkwardness and own it, who give themselves an opportunity to fumble with their awkwardness and to get used to it the same way you do with any other difficult thing like math or reading or studying or dance or games.
I said all of that to say, not being awkward is not a talent, it is a skill, and you can learn it.
Like with most skills, one becomes confident with practice.
I’m a natural introvert and an only child and therefore has little practice of taking to others. I had no idea of how important small talk is. I learned by working in a bar, where social interaction can’t really be dodged and found out that social interaction isn’t that daunting as it seemed to me.
It still not my biggest hobby yet I’m not longer afraid of social interaction like I used to be.
I wish I was happy. Not even all of the time, just some?
I wish I was a dog for real.
Imagine being a rich white woman’s house cat. Best life in the solar system.
To not procrastinate.
I’ll comment on this later.
I wish I was more Christlike.
No matter what you believe about Christianity, you can’t deny that He is a pretty good role model.
Tbh, saying “come feel my wound, bro” is a metal as hell way to respond to Thomas
Fuckin guy had balls of titanium. Could tell off the cops to their faces and walk away.
Though it did catch up with him.
Be able to draw fast. I’m hilariously slow at drawing 😂
I wish I liked to study. It would save me a lot of trouble.
You ever tried those exam prep books and just try taking tests till it absorbs organically?
Never tried. I might try sometime.
I wish I was persuasive
A really old book, how to win friends and influence people, can teach you this.
TBH I don’t want have to change at all, I’m just saying in the magic genie scenario I’d wish that people agreed with me
I’ve been recommended this book multiple times and it probably would help me, but I feel like I’d have to admit to myself that my goal is manipulation before picking it up, and I don’t want that to be my goal.
I wish I was worth peoples’ time.
You are! The people that make you feel you aren’t, aren’t worth your time 😉
Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don’t want to, it doesn’t feel good to me. I’d rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.
Do you tend to struggle with people pleasing as well or is it limited to negotiation?
It’s more to do with honesty. If the seller says it’s worth this much and that’s what they need to charge to cover their costs, then I would like to think that’s true because if it isn’t, they’re lying.
