If you’re not middle aged, pick a younger age, IDK
Your dog is awesome.
Your job is pretty cool. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, but I’ll keep that on my radar.
Your beard and moustache are epic. Shame about the hair, but I knew that was coming.
Congrats on getting married, can’t wait to meet her.
Donald Trump? Twice? Really? And they do what? Fuck, man…fuck.
Career? (Not knowing about AI) Oh wow interesting!
Life? (Not knowing about cost of living) Dude wtf!
“Your heart did WHAT??!?!?”
Actual answer: they would probably be surprised by how fat I am. I was underweight at that point in my life and now am over and generally less fit (multiple broken bones and surgery will do that). They would be surprised I had any interest in Japan, let alone have been living there for a decade. They would kinda get it though; 19-year-old me was still on the fence about very rural or very urban life. Turns out middle-aged me would get both in one country. Not really playing any music would surprise then-me as well, though it has been something I’ve slightly dipped my toe back into, though they’d probably like that I played for thousands a handful of times and have credits on a few albums. That I went into homesteading would also surprise him to some degree, coming out as some combination of my grandfather and, to a lesser extent, my uncle who fucked off.
Former post: To avoid this and probably be generally better, I’d explain the current situation and say to be more active in government and vote more, but I was working at times 2-3 jobs and surviving off of dollar store boxed mashed potatoes at one point and, I forget whether 19 or 20, living out of my car surviving on wonderbread factor outlet leavings and peanut butter in addition to what my restaurant job would give.
The question is not “what advice would you give them?”, but “What would they think of your current self?”
They would tell me to read better, apparently. I had meant to do a two-birds-one-stone sort of approach but swapped your final ‘they’ with a ‘you’. Oopsie.
Nice recovery 😂
whoa, really?
nice! congrats!
Working in something vaguely related to what you just started studying and playing games. Just like you do now.
… oh
fuck yeah! i was worried for us, thanks for making the hard choices and sacrifices.
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You are happily married in Europe, don’t pigeon hole yourself in networking, jump on the automation bandwagon and as always buy and hold Bitcoin till it hits 90K
The question is “what would they say about your current self”, not what advice would you give them…
Someone tried to convince mid-20s me about bitcoin and he was having none of it. Probably would’ve squandered a ton of it back then, anyway, once it got over the hump of a pizza for 10k or 50k bitcoin or whatever it was and finally got some acceptance.
“Whoa. You actually talk to and get along with Dad? I can’t stand him. He’s such a huge dick.”
Yeah. Your going to call him that to his face at some point in a few years. It goes over better than you’d expect.
That sounds like an interesting story! Up for hearing it if you wanna share. Either way, glad it worked out ok :)
The short version is that my father was both a victim and perpetrator of the cycle of abuse. When I was a kid, he was an angry man who would often explode in a violent rage. I ran away from home when I graduated from high school because I hated him and didn’t want to be around him anymore.
Eventually I learned that he wasn’t a bad person at his core. He genuinely wanted to do the right thing. He never had much of a chance. His own father destroyed him. Some of the stories he told me about his dad, when I was a kid, are horrible and sad. I think realizing that he was just a very broken man made it easier to forgive him.
We’ve talked about it a lot over the years. He is genuinely sorry for the way he treated me and my siblings and has lots of regrets. He’s not perfect but he is a good “Papa” to my kids and we get along pretty well nowadays.
I am more like my dad than my 19 year old self probably thought I would ever be. But I managed to mostly hang on to the good parts and get rid of the bad ones. My kids will never learn to fear me the way I feared my dad.
P.S. The time I called him a dick to his face.
I was in my mid 20’s. I called him on the phone to confront him about something he had done. All of a sudden, he blurts out, “why don’t any of my kids want anything to do with me?” At this point, I was very angry with him and didn’t care what his response was. I said, “Dad, we want to have a relationship with you but you make it really hard when you’re being a dick all the time.”
When I was a kid I would have paid dearly for saying something like that to him. The beating would have been fierce and merciless. When I said that he kind of just stopped and I could tell he was considering what I had said. I don’t know why but I think he actually took it to heart.
That’s sad that you all had to deal with it, but awesome that you managed to break out of that cycle of abuse. Sounds almost a bit collaborative over the long run… Thanks for sharing!
“They use computers to do what??? Shit, guess I’ll become a woodworker then.”
So everything stays the same.
She would be absolutely stunned. Probably wouldn’t believe me. At 43 I’m married to the guy I was dating at 19. At 19 I had dropped out of college and thought I wanted to be an artist; at 43 I’m already retired from a successful career in academic research. At 19 I had no thoughts about politics or the world as a whole (9/11 hadn’t happened yet); at 43 I’m pretty informed and opinionated. And she’d probably be surprised how much I’m into the outdoors, healthy living, and weightlifting, given that she had negative interest in those things. The rest is pretty consistent - e.g., I’ve always loved music from the '60s, fun nail polish, scifi, swimming, and handmade art (drawing, beading, etc).
He’d be disappointed that he doesn’t end up doing anything epic and world-changing, but then he’d immediately be relieved that he’s mostly got shit figured out. Wife, home, job, driving, cooking, all the basic stuff.
Then he’d realize he only thought he needed to do something epic because he couldn’t picture himself having those basic things figured out. This would take him a few minutes to process, so he wouldn’t say anything.
