No idea. My uncle Joe has dwarfism and he makes a mean bowl of Count Chocula.

Ooh, I didn’t see zombies as a possible outcome

Don’t know. A bar I used to go to had a hefeweizen called Wheaty McWheatface, which I thought was funny

Trainspotting
Hackers
Atomic Blonde
Go
Grease
The Big Lebowski
The Crow
Mary Poppins

Girl. Have some dignity and kick him to the curb because it’s clear he’s not really interested in you. He probably wants you on standby in case his dick or his ego need stroking. Don’t make excuses for someone who’s mistreating you, especially at such a young age - you’re just inviting dysfunction. You can and will do better, but not if he’s in the way. Good luck.

Oh jesus fucking christ I have hoodies older than this kid.

When I was a young idiot, I really thought Clonaid was gonna be a thing. I guess I thought it was plausible because I grew up reading a fuckton of scifi and Dolly the Sheep had been born a couple years prior. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Welp my super catholic mom squeezes her teabags until not a single drop more comes out. It’s awful. I never squeeze a teabag!

Nobody’s going to want to be around you if you’re volatile and hurtful. And “I can’t help it” is a thin excuse. These are things you absolutely could control, you just have to try.

You sound young. Get control of yourself and develop some empathy. And while you’re at it, do something about your internalized misogyny. These two passages ought to create some cognitive dissonance for you:

Women also piss me off more than men do, so I hang out more with them because I feel like they get me and aren’t as bitchy.

I think women should be the best versions of themselves :) [I believe this is why society is so hard on women as a whole]

I pronounce spigot as “spicket” but that’s normal where I’m from.

My mom had a couple of weird ones that took me a while to unlearn:

Stipend = “stipp-ind”
Antibiotics = “antee-BEE-otics”

Yeah you’ve been away a while, we say 'oagies now.

Oh wow, complete opposite here - I thought Prometheus was hot garbage.

“Hey everybody, let’s just remove our helmets in this totally unvetted environment, we’re all scientists but trust me, this is supes safe!”

“Aw look at the little alien snake, so cute, better get real close!”

“I’m clearly showing symptoms of exposure to some alien pathogen, but let’s just hide it from the entire crew, including my girlfriend, who I will be fucking.”

“Oh, a huge ring is rolling toward me and I’m gonna get crushed, better keep running in a straight line!”

I mean, come on.

To be honest, isn’t it a ‘Young Adult’ book, i.e., intended for preteens/teens, not adults?

Hey anything’s better than the metal ones

Rapist Allen Turner, aka rapist Brock Turner, who got a 6-month slap-on-the-wrist sentence for what his father called (and I quote) “twenty minutes of action”? That rapist Allen Turner (aka rapist Brock Turner)? The one who only served 3 months?!

Xmas is in 9 days, so it’s almost over!

I think the holiday season is really overblown, with so much artificial cheer that it’s unsurprising that people get sad at this time. You can opt out of the festivities. You don’t have to do a tree, attend parties, or participate in gifts. People might not like it but you don’t have to go along to get along.

Man I’d be interested to hear about that. Any interesting insights?

I don’t have sample exchanges at the ready, but I take issue with the gigantic stickers, the unwarranted confrontational tone, and the childish namecalling.

Yes! The fucking stickers are so annoying.