I, just wanna stop feeling anything. Never had friends but I could live with that, but I just want someone to embrace, someone that feels something for me, even if doesn’t last. Better than 0 for the rest of my life. This situation is slowly killing me.

The only thing that gives me some relief is gaming… (I read the post of like a week ago here that several dudes met their partner thanks to a videogame and I felt even sadder, why that wasn’t me? I’ve been gaming for 30 years now).

  • Maeve@kbin.earth
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    3 months ago

    Work on meeting your own needs, inner and outer. Strangely, when you are whole within yourself (I’m not talking about rich, good looking, live in a certain area and drive a certain car, I’m talking about addressing things within your means and loving you, for who you are, inside out, taking care of yourself, parenting yourself --healthiest foods you can acquire on your budget, regular mental and physical hygeine, spiritual if that applies to you, a running gratitude list regardless, so you focus on the positive, even if small), you glow, and people are attracted to positivity.

    • classic@fedia.io
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      3 months ago

      Along with all the great answers being supplied about what to do to be out there in the world, what you are proposing can’t be overstated; I would make explicit in that to take an ongoing frank look at how you show up in life

      Idk about OP here, but with so many similar posts I notice, for instance, people who basically blame others, or wallow in a woe is me attitude, all the while putting down any suggestions floated their way. We are the common denominator in our own lives. Learning to be honest about our role in things is crucial

      • Maeve@kbin.earth
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        3 months ago

        Yes. Sure; and most are too shell -shocked to accept that, at first. I certainly was, at least. In my personal opinion, most of us need a little nurturing and time to allow spiritual bones to knit back together a bit first, so the elementary work offers a brief respite from the hamster wheel until we become able to work through the 12th year coursework and get off the wheel. I guess post secondary learns how to stay off the wheel for extended periods, and post grad is a whole other wheel we choose, for self-development in appropriate levels for appropriate times.

        There a balance between being gentle and mollycoddling, and each individual and circumstance dictate that balance. And as always, “new levels, new devil’s.” Ourselves being the first, middle, last pit boss, always. We just use others as mirrors and kid ourselves about it, sometimes, for funnies and development, in equal measure. The really neat trick for me, is learning how to STAY PRESENT, in the present moment, especially when it’s painful, because that’s where I’ll find the most answers, doing the homework. In the end, that’s justice, and the difference between karma and dharma has just as often seemed to be in millimeters, as often, if not more often, than light years.

    • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      I’m not one of those people who cares about wealth, good looks, etc. I’m just genuinely someone who is on her own a lot, more socially than in terms of coupling. For a few reasons, I am a fish out of water in my area, which is to me what Rock Bottom was to Spongebob. I can’t expand on the few unreachable freebie friends I have so as long as I score a zero in conversationalism and so as long as neither school or work has helped in this regard. The most interaction I get a day is with my pup, and I barely speak a dozen or so sentences a day. On top of all that, almost everyone wants me to be their GF/mate/whatever, leading to the added precaution of socialization traps, not least since I have an awkwardly low drive or physical focus, and I’m talking mostly about people who won’t take no for an answer. I’ve only ever fully (as opposed to interpretively incompletely) obliged once, and despite us still being close, that’s a part of how I ever knew the difference in the first place.

      • Maeve@kbin.earth
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        3 months ago

        My darling, it sounds as if you have very low self esteem. That’s a learned belief, and a survival mechanism. How accessible is therapy to you? Better if good therapy is available, but that’s pricey where I live. I can’t give you a hug irl; please wrap your arms around yourself and know, just know, that’s a long, firm cyber hug from me. Best best best to you, and I’ve to begin another level of study on my vocational path and it is intense. So if I don’t reply for some days, just know my time is so very scant and I will reply as I can.