I, just wanna stop feeling anything. Never had friends but I could live with that, but I just want someone to embrace, someone that feels something for me, even if doesn’t last. Better than 0 for the rest of my life. This situation is slowly killing me.
The only thing that gives me some relief is gaming… (I read the post of like a week ago here that several dudes met their partner thanks to a videogame and I felt even sadder, why that wasn’t me? I’ve been gaming for 30 years now).
My darling, it sounds as if you have very low self esteem. That’s a learned belief, and a survival mechanism. How accessible is therapy to you? Better if good therapy is available, but that’s pricey where I live. I can’t give you a hug irl; please wrap your arms around yourself and know, just know, that’s a long, firm cyber hug from me. Best best best to you, and I’ve to begin another level of study on my vocational path and it is intense. So if I don’t reply for some days, just know my time is so very scant and I will reply as I can.