Note: I haven’t yet. The following text is not an answer, and might not be worth reading. (Chance: approx. 95%)
Scary wall of text, in the spoiler you go.
Issues
So far i only faced this threat twice (in high school), but managed to avoid it.
- First, I was selected for Erasmus+ international exchange program. But I couldn’t get the answer on how many people per room there would be nor whether there would be shared showers and toilets (like one large per building bathroom).
The school’s psychologist then called me into her office to ask whether I would be capable of socializing with others, and to re-think it, as our group would have to do everything together in representative manner, so I just noped out. - Secondly, we went to some national competition, and were destined to stay at dormitory for 1 night. When I found that out, I said I rather won’t go. When I answered why, I was told that they would arrange for me to have a single room, so that was fine. I just stayed inside there all the time, enjoying my solitude.
At home I live with parents. I don’t have my own room, but subsidize for it with WC (separate from bathroom). Since there’s no power outlets, I’ll take 2 power banks, laptop, USB fan, phone, earphones, and stay there for most of the day.
Unfortunately, I may not find any such alone space over there.
Eating near others is also not quite easy. Usually I’d just wait for the lunchroom to empty, and then go there. Empty table near wall, with adjacent empty tables (excl. diagonally behind). Sometimes this would mean I wouldn’t get to eat, or be late for class, but that wasn’t a problem for me.
At home I just wait until my parents finish.
I can’t stand seeing others, being seen, and hearing others’ chewing if I am to eat.
Stuff to bring
I kinda like to be always ready. My biggest concern is electronics. What all do I bring? Should I take the mini PC with me, or leave it at home with WWAN modem, and use it over Tailscale?
Should I bring RTL-SDR with me, or leave it at home with the remote mini PC and only take RSP1 clone with me?
Which WiFi router to bring? Reliable one, or the one with Wireguard that restarts every 15 minutes and bootloops eventually?
Do I take both laptops for redundancy, or just the usual ThinkPad?
If bringing my CD player, do I use disposable batteries, or also take the AA charger with me?
Do I take my DAB+ radio?
Do I bring the spool of wire that’s been useful for shortwave listening?
What about a printer? I’d only trust dot-matrix for moving around, but they’re expensive AF.
Hell, when I went to that competition, I even took Cisco 871W (SoHo-style) and Cisco 1802 (1RU) routers, although that was mostly as a joke (I did play around with them though).
You need professional help. How do you think your life is going to work, especially if your parents are gone?
Yeah OP. Having anxiety about meeting new people and/or living in a new place isn’t abnormal, a lot of people have it. But this is on another level. I really recommend seeking professional help, this doesn’t look like something internet strangers can meaningfully help you with.
The solution to social phobia isn’t to design your life around avoiding people. It’s fine if you prefer to spend time alone, but it’s important to be able to tolerate even the experiences you dislike the most. I might feel great suffering when I have to do math, but it’s important that I’m able to do some basic calculations when I have to.
It sounds like your aversion to being around people is causing some serious disruptions in important parts of your life, like eating meals. I promise that continuing to avoid people will not make the problem go away. I’m a big advocate for therapy. It might sound impossible to you since it involves talking to someone for extended periods of time, but therapists are there to listen without judgement, and to help you have an easier time in life.
Ummm… I showed up, said hello to my roommate, and went on with my life?
I have to say - it sounds like you need therapy to get over this phobia. Living in a college dorm with another person should be, at most, kind of annoying sometimes. It’s only a threat because you personally are thinking of it as a threat. There is no actual physical harm being threatened to your body or mind. Millions if not billions of people share rooms with other people all over the world every day. Think of it as an opportunity to challenge yourself and grow as a person.
Bring only the items you cannot live without until your first break home. In the US, that is typically Thanksgiving or Winter break after the first semester.
Don’t bring a printer, a radio, or routers. If you have no desire to socialize with others, you may want to consider an apartment off campus.
You don’t mention having a problem sleeping with someone else around, which is good. But even the most considerate roommate is going to want to use the space they’re entitled to. And why even go to uni if you’re not going to attend the classes?
Eating could be a big problem, unless it’s possible to bring your food out of the cafeteria and you can find a place that you’re comfortable in.
You might be successful finding a corner of the library or another building that offers more privacy for studying than your dorm.
Meanwhile, you should start now stretching your limits of tolerance, like eating with your parents, or with strangers if that’s easier and you can afford to eat out.
Don’t bring a printer.
You’ll be fine, people ain’t as scary as you think they are and usually kind enough to be… accommodating if you politely express your needs. It feels like it’s gonna be a very necessary experience in your life if you wanna have some sort of normality later on, so take it that way and enjoy it!
If you want to piss people off, run a dot matrix printer constantly in earshot. Where the hell did you even get one, and why? Is this some tech hipster thing?
I started with an assumption there might have been a when component to that question, but nope, apparently we’re taking about 2025 and not 1995.
Somewhat amazingly though, brand new dot matrix printers - not just new old stock, but newly-manufactured units including modern USB and/or Ethernet interfaces - and even the big cartons of tractor-feed continuous paper are still readily available.
As dot matrix printers have not gone the way of the dodo, also neither have carbonless triplicate forms, which they are uniquely able to print on. Seems that’s still a big selling point for these printers.
My roommate never showed up. It was both awesome and kinda sucked because it meant I lost out on a typical college experience. The next year I got a single though
I showed up. Met roommates went out drinking with roommates went on living life as normal.
I brought a bag of cloths, a toiletries bag, a laptop a phone, chargers and shit for that and that was all I needed. Hell except for a car that’s 90% of what I own.
Op u sound like u severely struggle with socialising to the degree it is effecting your life in a serious manner. I suggest getting therapy as if u don’t this could have serious detrimental effects on your future.
Wear a shirt with these words printed on the front side: “granted leave of absence now.”
And on the back side: “You are”
So when somebody talks to you, you kindly wait until they have spoken, then turn your back on them.
/s
As far as bringing stuff they are standard dorm lists.
I really recommend mini fridge with freezer section. If you are afraid of roommates stealing stuff there maybe some with locks?
Most of the time schools send out personality charts and if you fill it out they match you with someone similar. Sometimes it works…
