That’s a nice way to ask if I’m a bastard. No, not the insult. Literally, someone born out of wedlock.

I was around 20 years too late.

They didn’t attend mine either, as it happens, on the grounds that they too were “late” by then.

Yes. I was almost three years old. I don’t remember much, but I do remember that I started to sing during the wedding ceremony when my parents knelt at the altar. Of course no one else sung.

I also remember that the priest scared the shit out of me and that my godfather “fell asleep” in the toilet and had to be carried to a car. I learned years later that he had severe social anxiety which he treated with liquor.

Both of their second…

They never married.

I was 3 when I attended my parents’ wedding. I guess I should note not my dad and birth mom.

I met my birth mom many years later. She stressed how she and my dad were briefly married when I was born, so I wasn’t a bastard, and that she gave birth in FL, not MI — the only home I remembered — so I wasn’t a damn Yankee. Like she did me some kindness in both those cases.

That was the attitude that led me to be quite happy with my circumstances — acting like I was in her debt over things I had no care over. So yeah, I attended the wedding of my dad and the only woman I’ll ever call mom.

As a younger sibling… nah :3

I wasn’t a reason for my parents misery, just a consequence of it

Am I a bastard?

Yes.

Not yet. My dad’s wedding is next year.

No, they married only once, and it was before my time.

But later, they attended my wedding.

That would have been quite the logistical challenge

In a way I did: shotgun marriage, she was 4 months already

No…? But I did the math correctly, and for a certain interpretation of “attend”, I am a day too late.

i wasn’t born yet. I don’t even think half of me was in my dad’s balls yet

I’m not a bastard, but I’m a bandaid. My sister and I like to debate which is worse (: