I don’t even know how to say this anymore without sounding like a damn broken record, but ever since Trump got elected in November, my mental health has been slipping. And lately it’s not just slipping. It’s more like I jumped off a cliff and freefalling toward jagged rocks.
I’ve done everything I’m supposed to. I stay active. I run 3 to 5 miles on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I exercise 3 to 5 days a week. I spend time outside. I touch grass. But none of it works anymore. It just doesn’t take the edge off like it used to.
I know doomscrolling makes it worse. I know the news and social media are built to keep people angry and scared. I try to pull away from it. But even when I do, I get hit from another angle. My girlfriend sends me political messages all day long, like she’s trying to convince me of something I already agree with. I’ve told her to give me some space, but it doesn’t stop. It’s like she needs me to be in constant panic mode with her, and I just can’t do it anymore.
Lately I find myself dreading conversation. I don’t even want to hear another human voice. I’m tired in a way I don’t know how to fix.
I thought retirement was going to bring me some peace. I’ve worked hard my whole life. I thought I had earned some quiet. Instead, the world keeps getting louder, and none of the things I used to do to cope are cutting it.
Is anybody else feeling this way?
I think you have to take a real sit down with your girlfriend and try to explain this with her. I know she just wants to commiserate with someone, but if it’s damaging your mental health then it might be a better idea for her to find another political outlet.
ever since Trump got elected in November, my mental health has been slipping.
Trump is a symptom. He (it?) is not the disease.
Try not to fixate too much on the dude, the issue is in how such a frustrated illiterate racist could ever be elected and, even more: how was he able to become a candidate to begin with? That’s the real issue. Not that he is an asshole. There are plenty assholes, in the USA as well as in all other democracies around the world. The issue is when those illiterate assholes are being considered worthy leaders… by the electors in those democracies.
I know doomscrolling makes it worse.
It sure does. I’m not US and I don’t doomscroll. Ever. There is nothing that is that urgent/important that I should stay in the loop real time. Heck, I even started reading print newspapers again, almost 20 years after I gave up on them so I’m able to take some more time to digest the news. And even there, I filter out most of what I consider mere noise and not real information.
Stop following news. I’ve blocked news and politics related stuff on Lemmy too.
Also speak to your girlfriend. I’m not on any mainstream social media. My wife loves watching war atrocities on her social media feed and gossip drama. It has taken years for her to accept I don’t want to see that shit.
I feel this deeply. Others have said it already, but the thing that’s helped me the most is getting involved with the solution. Local community organizing, mutual aid groups, political candidates in your area, etc etc etc there are many options (and feel free to message me if you want more help finding them) and nothing felt ok until I could feel like I was doing something other than passively sitting around watching the country/world collapse.
Others have also said closing off news and social media. This is also a good step, but I would caution against doing so 100%. Maybe set aside a day or two a week where you get caught up for an hour or two then turn it off the rest of the time. It’s still important to be aware, particularly as the suffering is becoming more and more local and ubiquitous, but it definitely becomes all consuming if done too much.
You sound like an empathetic person, and people like you are needed to help drive change. Fascism won’t go away in it’s own or with one more election cycle to vote it out. The upshot is most organizing and community strengthing efforts are just generally positive for mental health in their own right and may lead and may lead to new friendships and activities that you enjoy
Shit, you made the same comment I had in mind but worded it way better
I told my wife flat out to not talk to me about news or politics at all unless it was good news. It took a few weeks to get it to sink in, but she’s stopped. I do keep up in small doses so I’m not completely shut off, but I get headlines a couple of times a week, not dozens daily. Set a boundary and either she respects it or you tell her it’s time to move on.
I got involved with my hyper-local community. Like 3 blocks around my house. I walk my goats almost everyday and make sure to chat to all my neighbors. I tell and share good news with them; recipes, gardening, weather, Halloween plans, whatever. If they start in with doom shit, I just gently redirect them. “Yeah, I saw that but dude, I found a place down the street that has the best cookies.” Again, it took a bit but they’ve started to get it. We don’t have to focus on the shit. We can be aware of it but it doesn’t have to be central to everything. One neighbor and I are going to start a block party movie night. I do dumb thing while walking too. Pick up trash, straighten other people’s yard signs, move trash/recycling cans back to the yard side when empty. Little shit that just makes other peoples lives a tiny bit better. That stuff is contagious too.
Another thing that’s helped is my core friend group. We were already a bunch of nerds, but now we have like 3 rpg games going. Not all of them are regular, but it’s a way to tune out without shutting down. There is a spoken agreement that we keep real life shit out of our sessions and they’re just for unwinding and living a fantasy for a bit.
Yes. I feel exactly the same way and nothing I do has any effect on it.
You’re not alone. The shock of 2016, and seeing some of my friends celebrating the result, sent me into a spiral. Get to a therapist, because honestly your reaction is completely rational but you’re going to need tools to stop it consuming you.
Oh I just added filters to everything to filter out anything with trump, musk, republican, maga, nazi, etc etc etc etc. after adding about 100 key words, I just dont see any of that shit anymore. Completely tuning it all out has done wonders for my mental health.
Feeling enraged and helpless all day every day is pointless, the only one that loses is you. So, I decided to tune all that noise out completely, and focus on things I can control- activities with family, house projects, hobbies, collections, friends, work.
I pretty much back to normal after months of desperation. I’m in a place now where seeing the occasional thing that slips through my filters doesn’t ruin my entire day because I’m not constantly at rock bottom anymore.
TLDR; stop following and worrying about things you cannot control. Tune that out and focus on the rest of your life!
Besides what others have said, this could be not necessarily related to Trump. Maybe it’s something that will have manifested anyways even if Canada had conquered the US as its fourteenth province. I’d recommend a therapist if quieting things out doesn’t work.
One option is to get involved with fairvote. I was in the US for the election and it felt good to be doing something about the underlying systemic issue that made this so much worse in the US.
You’re not alone OP, I’m in a similar boat. If I may make some suggestions, talk to your girlfriend again. Let her know how bad it is for you right now. Hopefully she listens and tries to support you in ways that helps.
Second, you should really consider a psychiatrist and therapy if you can afford it. (I’m going to assume you’re in the US). The Open Path Collective is a low cost network of therapists. You pay a one time membership fee and then sessions range from $30 to a maximum of $70. And Psychology Today has a psychiatrist finder thing that has all sorts of filters to find a psychiatrist that’s right for you, including low cost options. They can help you find a medication that’s right for you.
I know people talk a lot of shit about antidepressants (and to an extent, I agree with a lot of the criticisms) but it’s undeniable that they do help take the edge off. When you’re on a good one, all it does is pluck the depression out of your brain, it’s a very subtle feeling but it makes a world of difference.
Lastly, I would suggest that you try getting active in your community. Find an organization that aligns with your politics, or is doing work that you feel is important and just show up to a meeting/public event they’re having. It’s very likely they need the help and would take you in with open arms. There’s a degree of fulfillment and relief that comes with being able to do good for those around you and actually seeing the results that medication can’t provide. Food Not Bombs is a pretty ubiquitous organization that focuses on feeding the homeless. My local FNB also sets up a free store and we have a bicycle mechanic that does free maintenance for our neighbors. If cooking isn’t your forte, there’s always something else you could do to make a difference.
You have every reason to feel depressed right now OP. But I hope you’re able to improve your situation and work towards healing. Take care
You have to keep telling yourself that truth and justice and love will win in the long run even though it appears they are losing at the moment. Over and over you have to convince yourself to have hope for the larger picture.
Some turn to religion and the promise of justice in the next life as that source of hope.
Others look at not just the rise of evil and willful ignorance in history, but it’s ultimate fall every time too.
Are we in for a long dark time, or a short one? It is hard to tell. Look for the little signs of hope in the news rather than dwelling on the tragedies. They are there. It is the only way to stay sane and keep moving forward.
Check out the posts by P.Terry’s burgers in Texas; the success Mamdani had in the NYC primary; the young folks who are still getting married; the judges who are even challenging the Supreme court; the people who are installing solar panels in spite of the royal proclamations; the people still trying to come to this country to work in our fields; the neighbors who put your trash can back in your yard after the wind blows it out in the street. There are way more good people doing good things than there are nasty selfish racist pigs. Look for and draw strength from the good. The evil will burn itself out.
I believe Trump’s dementia will soon render him unable to hold his coalition of evil together and it will collapse. I hope it is replaced with something more positive and not an equivalent regime.
naive bullshit thinking like this is how we got here in the first place…
Just an advice: tell your gf you really don’t want to read it, that you need a break and that you mean it. Either she respects that or you need to find a new gf, preferably one who respects boundaries.
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Listen: the world is not as bad as news media and social media make out. People love wallowing in misery - don’t let them bring you down.
In many ways we are living in a golden age - technology has never been so advanced, you have at your fingers more power, knowledge and freedom than any generation before has ever had. And despite all the gloom and doom, renewable energy is exploding electric cars are everywhere, people are living longer and healthier, poverty is down across the world and falling. Good news doesn’t cut through on social media or news. Seek it out - it’s all around you.
The world is far from perfect but it’s also no where near as bad as it sometimes seems. The world has always been in a state of flux and changing. We lived through a brief period of stability after the fall of the Berlin wall but normal service has resumed. Somethings will get better, some things will get worse. Sometimes good politicians will be in power sometimes bad.
Trust me as someone now in their 40s, you will look back and wonder why you wasted time worrying about things that ended up not smattering. When I was 20 it was all about George W Bush dooming the world and America. It wasn’t about the positive things that actually happened - like the mobile phone, the internet, falling poverty, rising living standards around the world, the solar panels, and wind turbines and electric cars, and so much more. I work.on Healthcare - diseases I learned were death sentences like cancer or even diabetes and HIV are now treatable and some even curable. Others realistically look they will be cured in my lifetime. When I was 20 those possibilities were all dismissed as wishful thinking, and the main worry was narrow stuff about a politician you probably barely know about and a war people don’t care about anymore.
And now - the world has moved on and now everyone is agnosing over Donald Trump. We’re still worrying about climate change but we’re still not talking about the global renewable energy revolution.
The last 20 years have been nothing short of miraculous in many ways, yet you’d think from social media and mainstream news that the Human race is already extinct and we’re just waiting for the lights to go out. Fuck that. Ignore the shit, get out and live your life. The world is amazing. Go out and see it.
Congrats on retirement! How do you spend your extra time? Maybe a hobby or some volunteer work could help you pass some time and get your mind out of the spiral? I know for me, I enjoy my time off of work, but extended time outside of work without a plan generally is pretty tough. I end up not enjoying my time.
