He is, in fact, a bitch.
A filthy bitch
“If you’re too insecure to wash your nasty-ass stank smell off because of a nice smell, you ARE a bitch, and a whiny one at that. When you grow up to be a REAL man, my body wash will still be there, not giving a shit about what dangles between your legs or what you think is or isn’t manly.”
Who said that?
A hypothetical response when someone complains that they can’t use a certain soap over a mildly flowery scent.
The quotes really threw me for a loop.
Used to do IT for a small meat packing plant; would shoot the shit with the warehouse guys whenever they came in for a break. Bunch of 20-something guys slinging 20-60 pound boxes of meat all day.
Power went out one time, and we’re all sitting around waiting to see if the power is going to come back quickly enough that we don’t need to start unloading all the inventory; and one of them expressed a need to use the facilities. I told him the bathroom was right there; it didn’t need power to flush.
There were no windows, and he didn’t want to end up peeing all over the floor.
I pointed out that if he sat down, he wouldn’t need to aim.
“I’m not gonna sit to pee!”
“Dude, it’s not like it’s gonna fall off.”
“It might!”
i love sitting down to pee. with a penis, even. standing up takes effort. sitting does not. i can dribble off in the toilet instead of on my pants. i can check my phone quick. i can sit instead of stand. pee flows out better sitting down so i strain less. i don’t have to stand elbow to elbow with a stranger holding his dick, too literally ever. the pros are quite good.
the only bad thing is apparently some men think it’s not manly! but im gay sooo oh nooooo anything but that. also sometimes the water is too high and the tip of your dick might touch but really this barely ever happens. I’m tall anyways, so when i use a urinal my dick is squished up by the top rim most of the time anyways which i find gross too.
I don’t think it matters, I’m straight. I love sitting down.
standing up takes effort. sitting does not.
Butt how do you get up? /o\
i just use a little of the effort i saved by sitting down the whole pee
deleted by creator
Stories like these and the multiple ones about dudes not wiping after they shit gives me serious pause when considering my other cis hets’ mental faculties. Shiiiit, I usually only go once a day in the morning but it my crack is itching I’ll wet down some toilet paper just to make sure I got everything. Do these weirdos actually enjoy having an itchy ass‽
More fun facts.
Many men don’t wash their ass in the shower because it’s considered gay.
Also 1/3rd of Americans and Europeans only change their bed sheets once a year.
JFC we really are doomed. Maybe we deserve it if something as basic hygiene is considered to determine your sexual orientation! Like really‽ If anything, to me, it’s a matter of comfort. Do they expect a significant other to do it for them? This kinda thinking is so far outside my wheelhouse that I’m actually feeling discomfort trying to empathize with them!
How would he handle things if he needs to pee and poo? Like, does he do one, switch positions, and then the other? It just sounds super inconvenient and involved.
Thats the worst. Stand to pee, let out a fart while peeing, fart turns into turtlehead, finish peeing, immediately have to sit down with face in fart cloud.
Oh whew. I am not thrilled about this comment. Turtlehead in particular paints such a picture… I feel like I’ve been mildly defiled today.
As a cis man, I sometimes pee sitting down but only at home, never in a public bathroom. I go as far as lifting the toilet seat with my foot. The less contact the better. Maybe if I touched the bowl with my dick it would fall off, not taking any chances
Yeah, It wouldn’t be so bad if the toilets weren’t completely covered in pee.
I think that other guy was joking and the problem was, I dunno, fearing to stumble when standing up.
I think it was mostly the fact that if he did go at that point, the other warehouse guys would decide he had indeed sat down to pee, regardless of what actually happened.
I ain’t no bitch
Makes somebody else get him body wash, whines about the scent of what was offered in lieu.
Dude’s a total bitch lol
A man can certainly buy his own body wash on his own time. He’s acting like a little bitch fo sho.
Yeah, “I’m busy” isn’t your roommate’s problem.
fellas, is it gay to wash yourself?
Yup. I scrub myself with steel wool.
Super gay, real men walk through the car wash.
Especially gay if you wash or wipe your butthole.
deleted by creator
A good 20% of the appeal in actually dating women is getting to use their forbidden female bath products every once in a while when your 11 in 1 manboy all purpose body scrub, shampoo, conditioner, lubricant, fuel oil, anti seize, weed killer, bug repellent, fire starter, persevative, and paint stripper runs out.
As a guy with long hair, I’ve learned to just roll my eyes at the gendering of hair products. The all in one shit is made with the assumption that it’s being used on short hair that’ll be chopped off in a few months max, so it doesn’t need to preserve anything. Long hair has to last years.
Same. To be fair it’s an easy choice for me, why would I want to smell like some nebulous XXXFUEL, SPORTS PISS, or MOUNTAIN JUNK when I could smell like a bakery instead? Apple and cinnamon poo and condish? Yes please. Vanilla leave-in? Give!
That’s all well and fine but do you really choose to abbreviate shampoo as “poo”?
This is fair. It’s a fairly common term in certain circles (which I’ll keep intentionally vague as to let your minds delight and/or reel in horror at the possibilities) so I didn’t give it much thought.
I may or may not have found that women hugged me longer and smelled my hair if I used something the smelled good. I also used conditioner with my long hair and had many women running their fingers through it.
It was nice. Short hair is so much easier, though.
Ha, yes. I just learned this a couple weeks ago and about thirty years too late. My past self couldve looked a lot better.
Im a man but almost exclusively buy “women’s” soap and shampoo. It smells better to me and it’s absolute horse shit that this stuff is gendered in the first place.
I was forced to use my mother’s vanilla smelling Shampoo. I smelled like a woman at work.
You guys don’t get it. Those products smell like that to appeal to women. If anyone even notices you smell like a woman, the obvious inference is that you have a girlfriend. Or at least spent the night with a woman. If it’s dilute enough to not really be noticeable, women will just find it appealing. Vanilla in particular is non-gendered, what you smelled like was a cookie!
That is good I suppose. But not in this country.
Guess you’ll have to bring fresh-baked cookies to work then, for cover. And also sharing. Pro tip: make them large, then break a few in half, depending on the gender splits in your workplace. Women who would like a cookie but feel guilty because of norms about dieting will happily take a half. Or maybe break off a quarter. But they won’t break one if none are already broken. Most men will enjoy taking a whole one because diet norms don’t apply to them. A few people will enjoy virtuously refusing them because vegan or keto or something. Nobody will notice you smell like vanilla.
If you’re not a baker, or you have a friend with celiac, Rice Krispy Bars also have vanilla and are gluten free.
Did it make you want to slob a knob?
Mike Birbiglia has a really funny bit about this. Calling the shampoo, body wash, tooth paste, “sham-paste”. Of course watch his comedy special as my comment won’t do it justice. I think of it everytime I’m in the bath aisle at a store.
Forgot gunpowder and charcoal. Exfoliates the skin.
Wow. Insecure and entitled. Well, he has to go through life that way.
I ain’t no bitch
Proceeds to bitch.
Do other people normally ask acquaintances to buy them body wash? This is a situation that has literally never occurred to me.
Bro Soap. Manly soap for manly men, no chemicals that will make you gay or turn you into a woman. Comes in wood pine and musky tusk. Real men don’t bathe, but when you must, use Bro Soap. No homo.
“I ain’t no bitch” that’s some strong whining that makes you look like a bitch.
Where’s your stoic attitude of “suck it up and deal with it” Mr Manly Man?
Christ, I’ve eaten peaches that didn’t bruise as easily as his ego.
Back in the 90s, they used to call us metrosexual or metro. Just because I didn’t want to look or smell like I work in a coal mine.
Wasnt that 2000s? I strongly remember being called metro around 01/02
ya it all started cuz of that makeover show queer eye for a straight guy then the south park episode
I was called that in high school and graduated in '97
America? Makes sense you’d have been 5-10 years ahead on social things back than.
Ya America.
He can get his own body wash then
I’ve never understood thr gendering of stuff like this.
Like bro, soap is soap. I rather smell like roses and lavender than a mix of industrial shit and BO.
How does being so particular in body wash and demanding for accommodations from another guy become compatible with manliness? Especially the latter.
It’s also a bit funny to read “I ain’t no bitch” with caps and punctuation and all that, as if intentionally spelled out. Produces the impression opposite of what they were trying to make.
I think all those movies and series, say, with Jon Snow not cutting his hair (shaving and doing a haircut are not very technologically demanding processes, and starting with Iron Age they were norm in most places), looking greased in shit and wearing an animal skin, and talking in that perpetually hysterical “roaring/whining” voice, and similar portrayals of “real man” as what would be called “gay sex symbol” 50 years ago, have given sprouts.
