As someone who has a tough time getting to sleep most nights, this actually sounds like hell.

Not as extreme, but I get the feeling. The very tired sleep is just crazy good. I don’t stay awake to become extra sleepy, but I stay away, because I realy enjoy that evening hours. Just chilling there and not giving a fuck about anything for a few moments.

Can’t say I relate specifically to that, but I can relate to staying up later because you enjoy what you’re doing. Everybody else shuts the hell up & you can focus in on…whatever you want to do. I also think my desire to stay up later stems from wanting control over my day & my time, so while I absolutely should sleep, part of me is like, “NO! Sleep is a waste of time. I want to do this instead!”

That’s basically why I do it. I don’t edge. Maybe if you indulged a little more in physical labors, you can wear your body out & really get some good sleep. Idk it’s literally exhausting, but that’s when I sleep the best. When I burn myself up all day long, spending myself on labors.

Kinda, but for different reasons. I’ve suffered from insomnia for ages, and one of my absolute least favorite things about that is going to bed, then lying there for hours waiting to fall asleep.

So, usually I don’t even bother. I’ll stay up and do something productive or entertaining until I’m about to drop, then finally go to bed and enjoy a relatively small amount of time between my head hitting the pillow and actually falling asleep.

…downside being I gotta wake up for work like 3 hours later, so I’m kinda just chronically tired all the time, but that’s nothing a fuck-ton of caffeine can’t… slightly mitigate.

I’ve been experiencing something like this too…

I’m really insomniac due to mental health stressors and chemical imbalances. I honestly might die if I don’t use meds to put myself to sleep for 2 weeks straight.

That being said my meds are correcting the chemical imbalances. And I get to notice as I try to fall asleep after a high stress day I’ll ruminate too hard and I’ll stay awake after the “put-down” pill wears off, (then I gotta decide to give up on sleep all together or damage myself more with another pill).

I’m not a doctor (just traumatized). Ruminations come from anxiety sometimes, try to recognize what you’re actually actually doing to prevent yourself from sleeping.

I know exactly what you mean.

It’s like sleep is trying to pull you in with whisps of itself like the enticing fingers of a lover. You act coy, trying to keep afloat because the boundary feels… Exquisite. The whisps become more demanding little by little until finally you succumb and let them take you in and it feels like floating though clouds of immaterial boobs.

And then you are asleep.

I have a theory. Is there a chance you have ADHD?

A going theory is that you’re overstimulated and your body is starved of rest. You’d need to chill with the social media and electronics, go through withdrawal and then relax for a month or two on an isolated retreat in order to “reset” yourself.

Hmmm. Only involuntarily, like, when I’m reading a book I like and it’s a fight whether to keep reading or go to sleep.

I’ve reached a détante with my body, though. If I close my eyes and it’s any effort to open them, I put the book down.