My friend’s uncle was a cop, I met him when we went on a boat trip. As a way to convey how great being a cop was, he told me how on his first day he told his supervisor he wanted to arrest someone, so they found a homeless person, beat them, and arrested them. He laughed and laughed at this. I was appalled, and told him so. He laughed harder and called me a pussy.

He’s a judge now.