I have heard from multiple people that eye contact is essential in letting a girl (or guy, I guess) know you’re interested.

But what is the 411 when it comes to said eye contact? Do you keep looking until she does? Do you then keep staring? Or is like looking at the sun? What’s the deal?

  • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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    3 months ago

    The idea is that y’all both Exchange a glance long enough to both notice, short enough to not creep each other out. A subtle smile to seal the deal.

    Then go say hi to confirm.

    If you feel awkward at any point either you suck or the answer is no, that’s where the real skills is at IMHO

  • pirate-dad@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    From my experience, if you make eye contact, look away briefly, then look back. If she’s still looking at you, hold eye contact for a moment and smile. If she likes you, she’ll likely smile back.

    If she’s purposely avoiding making eye contact the second time, don’t be a creep, carry on with your day 👌

    • tpihkal@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      In the US, 411 was/is a phone number you could call for “information”, specifically directory assistance. Many carriers no longer offer it.

    • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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      3 months ago

      411 is number I think they post on high ways when people don’t know where to find what they need in the area.

  • lwuy9v5@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Behavioral mirroring is often a sign of trust or comfort, and applies to levels of eye contact as well. If someone is subconsciously doing the same things you are doing (e.g. longer and more direct eye contact if you initiate, more or slower blinking, more smiling, more relaxed postures to mirror yours), those are good signs of interest.

    The converse is also true. If you are doing a lot of direct eye contact, and it seems like the other person is often looking away or closing up their body (crossed arms or rotating their torso away), that’s a sign to reduce some of those behavioral signals to match.

    I’d say there isn’t a “This exact amount” to most things, as people are all different in their preferences, and it’s more about adjusting up and down with someone, in response to their small non-verbal or body language signals. They will likely be doing the same with you. Also, as others have mentioned - you can be more direct with words. If this is something you’re unfamiliar with and there’s someone you trust, you can say directly that you’re uncertain and ask something like “I’m not great at knowing how much eye contact feels correct, could you let me know if you notice too much or too little?”. If they are friendly with you, they’ll also likely be comfortable with the small request.

    Also, just to say it - eye contact can mean the general eye area - it doesn’t mean your exact pupil to their exact pupil. I find that if I focus on the literal eye/pupil, then I get strained trying and keep attention on that specific small area. If I focus on the general eye area (nose/forehead/eyebrow/general eye) - they both can’t tell that it’s indirect eye contact and it’s easier to let my body auto pilot focus

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    One element is to smile with your teeth. If a woman smiles with her mouth closed, it’s just a friendly thing. Old gf told me that and a couple of decades of observation have born that truth out.

    Know that face you make when you really want to smile, but are obviously holding it in? That can work.

    Making strong eye contact, holding-it-in-smile, then blushing away, just to look again with a full-teeth smile sends a strong signal.

    OTOH, if you have to consciously think about how to compose your face, you better be a trained actor. Humans have a solid sixth-sense for the disingenuous.

    In any case, don’t merely stare without expression. Yikes.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    There’s a song:

    “I was looking back to see if she was looking back to see if I was looking back at her”

    And also an Islamic proscription against looking twice at a person of opposite sex since it signals interest.

    So at least one sort of look that signals interest is the looking again. I also think the kind of sideways look with a smile is good.

    Do not go for intense and smoldering. That is some sort of advanced level shit that we civilians cannot manage, it will go wrong.

  • Moops@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    The trick is to never look away. Stare till they notice, then keep staring. Have to get up to use the restroom? Maintain eye contact as long as possible and reestablish it the moment you’re back in sight. If they get up, the responsibility to maintain that eye contact is on you. Make sure to stay within eyesight, following them if necessary. This is your chance, we’re rooting for you!

  • athairmor@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Eye contact is basic human communication of “I’m cool with you.” Don’t rely on it to express romantic interest. Avoiding eye contact can express a lot of things, most of them negative. Sure, you can express more with a look but it can come off creepy if you don’t have a rapport with that person.

    Make eye contact when talking to or listening to all people you like. That’s just basic social interaction. If you’re interested in someone romantically, tell them—ask them out.

    There’s no secret handshake or look. Talk to them.

    • Fat Tony@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 months ago

      There’s no secret handshake or look. Talk to them.

      Oh absolutely, I’m just looking to make a spark (like making eye contact) and let my social skills be the fuel. Or not, if she’s not interested.