If you’re having really good chemistry with someone, if you’re having fun together you both start to feel a thing that makes you feel very, very comfortable with them. Laughing together becomes sitting together, becomes holding each other, becomes eye contact, becomes more and more quiet time, next thing you know you’re tangled together and nature starts to take over. It’s not always, or even usually verbal.
That’s how some people do it, some people are more direct and just say “wanna go somewhere?” and they retreat somewhere private to either do the above, or go about getting intimate in their own way.
You can’t go wrong talking. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to the person you’re with on even the most basic level, if you’re at all unsure about enthusiastic consent, or what your partner really wants, you have to back up and either spend more time getting comfortable or admit you’re not feeling that chemistry together and move along.
Nerves are normal, you should feel nervous but more like the way you feel nervous about to get on a roller coaster. It should be exciting so make sure you understand if your anxiety isn’t crossed with your excitement responses. You shouldn’t feel scared you should feel heightened and aware. Your partner should also feel this way, it’s always okay to ask someone “Are you okay?” “Do you want to?” “Want to wait/go further?” and it’s not at all embarrassing or awkward to check with your partner. Unless, again, you’re with someone whom you’re not actually comfortable being intimate with.
If you’re having really good chemistry with someone, if you’re having fun together you both start to feel a thing that makes you feel very, very comfortable with them. Laughing together becomes sitting together, becomes holding each other, becomes eye contact, becomes more and more quiet time, next thing you know you’re tangled together and nature starts to take over. It’s not always, or even usually verbal.
That’s how some people do it, some people are more direct and just say “wanna go somewhere?” and they retreat somewhere private to either do the above, or go about getting intimate in their own way.
You can’t go wrong talking. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to the person you’re with on even the most basic level, if you’re at all unsure about enthusiastic consent, or what your partner really wants, you have to back up and either spend more time getting comfortable or admit you’re not feeling that chemistry together and move along.
Nerves are normal, you should feel nervous but more like the way you feel nervous about to get on a roller coaster. It should be exciting so make sure you understand if your anxiety isn’t crossed with your excitement responses. You shouldn’t feel scared you should feel heightened and aware. Your partner should also feel this way, it’s always okay to ask someone “Are you okay?” “Do you want to?” “Want to wait/go further?” and it’s not at all embarrassing or awkward to check with your partner. Unless, again, you’re with someone whom you’re not actually comfortable being intimate with.