I got matched with a girl on Tinder and I started the convo. All I got were one line answers like “yup”, “nope”, “haha”. Then we matched again on a different dating app. I chatted to her again but she never responded.
I get that dating apps can be daunting for many people, but we matched twice so clearly we are into each other. But really, make more effort than just giving one line responses or being matched again and not replying. That experience was more annoying than being ghosted or never getting any matches at all.
Tbh I would attribute this to someone just having poor literacy. Many people have a surprisingly serious struggle with reading or writing. If you ever have had to listen to an adult read something aloud, when they aren’t someone who does a lot of reading for work? Slow, choppy, awkward, wrong inflection. You can tell they’re literally taking it one word at a time, they aren’t scanning the sentence ahead while reading. They do it word by word, storing each word in their mental RAM, and then discover the meaning of the sentence only at the end by reviewing that buffer. Then they pause as they internalize it and repeat the process. It’s an exquisitely painful thing to watch. A LOT more people read like this than literate people think.
‘You’re not getting good matches because people are illiterate.’ Has to be a new one.
Maybe. But also take a look at yourself and your conversation skills. Maybe everyone is illiterate, or maybe that person wasn’t that into you, or maybe you’re not that interesting to talk to, or maybe it should wasn’t a good day for them.
The genuine advice I can give around this to you, or anyone else reading this is to read this for what it is. She may be busy, if she’s interested, she’ll message later. But it is also very possible she just wants someone to give her attention, and beating yourself up over someone being inconsiderate towards you. If she’s interested, she’ll talk, fighting or begging for someone who won’t fight back for you isn’t taking care of yourself.
Oh yeah, I am not beating myself for it. I know it’s on her. There are plenty of fishes in the sea, but some folks hold on to one person they barely even know. I have chatted and dated other girls after and had better time. I just thought it was a weird encounter and explained to the person I replied to, that the one word/line responses are genuinely irritating regardless of whatever reasons as to why the person was doing it.
Yeah, no, you’re absolutely right. It’s ok to just complain that people don’t reciprocate in a discussion. It’s annoying and when I’m dictator, it will be punishable by fine or imprisonment.
Also she’s working! And it sounds like she works at a restaurant. Like, oh sorry let me just stop bussing these tables for a second to talk to this smartass I barely know and maybe get fired?
But what if, because I’m working, I don’t have time to type all that out? But rather than completely ignoring the message, I try to give what answer I can? Have you never worked a job busy enough that you don’t have time to send full sentence texts? In the food industry it’s quite common, especially if she actually works on the kitchen staff.
Also, the crisis could also be averted by the other person not feeling entitled to getting “good enough” responses. Do you owe people a response that is up to their standards? Certainly not when you’re so unfamiliar with someone that they don’t even know what job you do. To my friends or family, sure…but I would also expect them to understand me giving out curt messages if I’m busy too.
I read “what are you doing on such and such island?” “Working” to mean work is what brought her to the area, not that she is currently on the clock. I could be completely wrong because Chloe seems to have the communication skills of a 2002 Honda Civic. “It just says ‘Check Engine.’”
As for owing people responses…that seems to be the wrongheaded question. She installed the app on her phone, created an account, filled out a profile, and swiped right on this guy…for what purpose?
“Sorry, working” is a completely acceptable response. It sets up the idea that you’re still interested in communicating, but can’t right now.
If you don’t have time to make a quick message like that, then don’t answer right now. Wait until you’re on break or off work and then pick up the conversation. An answer that raises more questions than it answers is just frustrating for all parties involved, you included since you get more questions :P
(Realized while looking at this that it sounds like I’m addressing this to you specifically. I’m not. I’m just sharing my thoughts on how to communicate that one’s at work in general, so sorry if it comes across as accusatory)
Chloe isn’t that into you, take. The. Hint.
I got matched with a girl on Tinder and I started the convo. All I got were one line answers like “yup”, “nope”, “haha”. Then we matched again on a different dating app. I chatted to her again but she never responded.
I get that dating apps can be daunting for many people, but we matched twice so clearly we are into each other. But really, make more effort than just giving one line responses or being matched again and not replying. That experience was more annoying than being ghosted or never getting any matches at all.
Tbh I would attribute this to someone just having poor literacy. Many people have a surprisingly serious struggle with reading or writing. If you ever have had to listen to an adult read something aloud, when they aren’t someone who does a lot of reading for work? Slow, choppy, awkward, wrong inflection. You can tell they’re literally taking it one word at a time, they aren’t scanning the sentence ahead while reading. They do it word by word, storing each word in their mental RAM, and then discover the meaning of the sentence only at the end by reviewing that buffer. Then they pause as they internalize it and repeat the process. It’s an exquisitely painful thing to watch. A LOT more people read like this than literate people think.
‘You’re not getting good matches because people are illiterate.’ Has to be a new one. Maybe. But also take a look at yourself and your conversation skills. Maybe everyone is illiterate, or maybe that person wasn’t that into you, or maybe you’re not that interesting to talk to, or maybe it should wasn’t a good day for them.
But nah. It must be everyone is illiterate.
The genuine advice I can give around this to you, or anyone else reading this is to read this for what it is. She may be busy, if she’s interested, she’ll message later. But it is also very possible she just wants someone to give her attention, and beating yourself up over someone being inconsiderate towards you. If she’s interested, she’ll talk, fighting or begging for someone who won’t fight back for you isn’t taking care of yourself.
Oh yeah, I am not beating myself for it. I know it’s on her. There are plenty of fishes in the sea, but some folks hold on to one person they barely even know. I have chatted and dated other girls after and had better time. I just thought it was a weird encounter and explained to the person I replied to, that the one word/line responses are genuinely irritating regardless of whatever reasons as to why the person was doing it.
Yeah, no, you’re absolutely right. It’s ok to just complain that people don’t reciprocate in a discussion. It’s annoying and when I’m dictator, it will be punishable by fine or imprisonment.
yup
If this is tinder or similar, she should unmatch.
If it’s just regular messaging, yeah the guy should back off.
Also she’s working! And it sounds like she works at a restaurant. Like, oh sorry let me just stop bussing these tables for a second to talk to this smartass I barely know and maybe get fired?
Then, say so. “Hey, I’m working. I really want to chat up with you but I’m currently busy. I’ll hit you up during my break.”
There, crisis adverted by the power of actually being communicative.
Am I missing something? Why would she need to reply immediately? Can’t she just wait until she’s off the clock?
depends if the platform has read receipts
But what if, because I’m working, I don’t have time to type all that out? But rather than completely ignoring the message, I try to give what answer I can? Have you never worked a job busy enough that you don’t have time to send full sentence texts? In the food industry it’s quite common, especially if she actually works on the kitchen staff.
Also, the crisis could also be averted by the other person not feeling entitled to getting “good enough” responses. Do you owe people a response that is up to their standards? Certainly not when you’re so unfamiliar with someone that they don’t even know what job you do. To my friends or family, sure…but I would also expect them to understand me giving out curt messages if I’m busy too.
I read “what are you doing on such and such island?” “Working” to mean work is what brought her to the area, not that she is currently on the clock. I could be completely wrong because Chloe seems to have the communication skills of a 2002 Honda Civic. “It just says ‘Check Engine.’”
As for owing people responses…that seems to be the wrongheaded question. She installed the app on her phone, created an account, filled out a profile, and swiped right on this guy…for what purpose?
Sorry. Working.
I mean, this proves nothing to me because I find this a perfectly acceptable response lol
“Sorry, working” is a completely acceptable response. It sets up the idea that you’re still interested in communicating, but can’t right now.
If you don’t have time to make a quick message like that, then don’t answer right now. Wait until you’re on break or off work and then pick up the conversation. An answer that raises more questions than it answers is just frustrating for all parties involved, you included since you get more questions :P
(Realized while looking at this that it sounds like I’m addressing this to you specifically. I’m not. I’m just sharing my thoughts on how to communicate that one’s at work in general, so sorry if it comes across as accusatory)
There was nothing to indicate she was working. He was asking what she was doing on Fraser Island, not what she was doing right then.