Some random dude walked up to me while I was waiting outside a food place for my food and asked me this question.
I said “no, I dont give out random favors” and something along the lines of that’s sus.
Is it rude to say no to random dude that asks for a favor?
my usual answer when I’m suspecting some kind of boundary-pushing behavior is “well you can ask…” …but I have to hear out my psych patients, you don’t owe strangers the same obligation.
You do not owe any random person anything.
(yes really. It may be rude on occasion but you do not owe politeness to just anyone either. And oftentimes politeness is also abused)
He was probably going to ask you to take a photo or something. It’s fine to say no, but kind of rude to refuse to hear the request.
“You can ask, sure. Let’s go back inside.” where the cameras are and it’s illegal to solicit or beg.
Make sure to call the police too champ
“You can ask.”
It would be rude to not even allow them to ask. But it wouldn’t be rude to turn down the favor after hearing what it is.
(Seriously: If it’s a stranger, it’s not rude at all. It’s actually more rude to ask a complete stranger for a random favor)
Your stance is that I’m required to say yes for some random street person to ask you for a favor?
As in yes, please explain the favor first so I can say no afterwards?
I suffer from anxiety and nearly had a panic attack. Been mugged and had broken bone from it.
Edit, i guess I could have handled it better and was slightly rude for immediate denial.
You chose a seemingly intentionally rude way to respond. There’s a whole lot of ways to decline something, and it’s just as easy to be polite as not. “Sorry, I don’t have time,” even just “sorry” and keep walking are great options. Or you can choose to make someone feel bad just for asking/needing help with something. Not sure why you’d choose to make a stranger feel bad, but I guess that’s up to you.
And btw, the way you are responding to comments makes clear that, rather than genuinely asking this question, you are just looking for people to tell you it was ok to be rude.
Keep walking while sitting and waiting for my food…
I don’t think you’re required to do it, personally, but I agree that it would be rude to not even hear someone out. Especially with someone you know even as an acquaintance. It could be anything from, “can you hold this for a second” to “do you mind splitting this $8000 timeshare with me?”
If it’s just a completely random person on the street, and their first word is “can you do me a favor” that’s different. I think it’s still rude, I just also think that when you engage with entirely random people being rude is acceptable sometimes. Especially if there’s an actual reason for you to feel unsafe- if you’re alone/it’s a shady area type thing.
This probably depends on the area, though. I’m from the southeastern US and from my understanding people engage with each other waaay more in public here than they do in- as a random example- New York.
“You can ask.”
It’s still a bit passive aggressive, I would feel.
I think if I were quick of thought (oh, how I wish!) I’d reply something positive like, “sure, what’s up?” And then if the request were too onerous I’d say, “sorry, I can’t.”
When a stranger asks for a favor but then doesn’t immediately tell you what that favor is 9 times out of 10 it’s some bullshit you definitely don’t want to say yes to so just the phrasing of the initial question would make me feel less inclined to respond something nice.
‘No.’ is a complete sentence and you do not have to justify yourself in any way. I don’t think that would be considered rude, either.
you are not obligated to speak to a random person in public at all
Better question why do u care if its rude? You have every right to be as rude as u want to anyone u damn well please. If they are a stranger on the street who cares.
Because that stranger on the street is a real person and you want them to have a good day too.
You don’t need to stress over if you came across as rude, but being polite is something I, at least, would like to try if I can.
When I was growing up, attending Jewish day school, my Rabbi taught me that an opportunity to help a stranger is a gift. I would entertain the question and I recommend that you do too in the future. Obviously you don’t need to comply with any unreasonable requests but typically a stranger is only going to ask you for something that takes like 2 minutes of your time and no real loss.
Helping people is enriching and will give you a sense of well-being in this fucked up grim world. You come out ahead in these situations. On the flip side, it’s clear that refusing this stranger is eating at you at least a little and has done some tiny damage to your soul, strictly figuratively speaking.
I take your point, and in general agree with it. We should try to help.
Hoever, someone approaches like that and my radar is going off. Sorry, my safety comes first, so I’m just going to say “No thanks”, every time, because we all know this person is trying to scam someone. (And I literally mean “No thanks” - It’s oddly disarming by reversing the roles, if only for a moment).
Someone once told me “don’t let them use your principles against you”, which is exactly what this scammer is doing.
There’s a world of difference between helping a stranger and allowing yourself to be pulled into a potentially risky situation.
This is the same reason I never pick up hitch hikers (I have in certain areas/circumstances).
Though I have no problem helping someone on the side of the road. I’ve helped random people carry stuff out of the store to their car - by offering to help them.
These are different situations which you can assess in the moment.
Assume they’re asking because they want to make sure it’s not imposing, in which case it’s good to assert boundaries you need too. If they push it was just a manipulation tactic, in which case you’re more than justified in walking.
He walked away. Said something about it’s not for money or something, I’m very suspicious of random humans.
Since he walked away i assume he meant no harm. I thought it strange shrug.
You think it’s strange to ask a stranger for help? That sounds like a cold world to me
You weren’t there.
He walked up and said hi and wanted to shake my hand (red flags germaphobe)
Hey, can I ask you a favor? (As he tries to set stuff down next to me on the table, red flags what do you want from me, money, theft, drugs)
I stood up and was like like “no, you can’t ask me a favor.”
Like, seriously I guess I am rude for wanting to sit in peace and waiting for food from place.
That’s a con game, you can respond whatever way you like within reason.
Also, “no” is a complete sentence and it is more rude to ignore EPs if person is on fact vulnurable. So stiff no will do the job while letting the person to keep their dignity
What is an EP, please?
I was also curious so i looked it up expecting a lot of common acronyms/initialisms, but was not prepared for 169… Anyway after scrolling through it a few times i think either ‘everyday people’ or ‘entitled people’ are the most likely ones.
As some others have said, no, it’s not rude to decline. Whether or not it’s rude is in how you word it. You were rude in this particular instance.
On the contrary, it’d be rude to expect any other answer. Shoving expectations onto a complete stranger and then judging them for firmly denying you is what’s rude here.
The question is rude in this context. It’s not rude to completely ignore rude questions.
Your rationalization sounds like some self centered manipulative bullying bullshit.
