I feel like this is something I knew but didn’t know was something that had actually been studied. I’ll tell a lot of science concepts and stories from history and mythology that normally bore people but I’ve always had a habit of telling them “drunk history” style so I’ll be telling people shit like,“And they didn’t invite discord to the party because why the fuck would you but you also can’t just not invite her because that’s how you piss a bitch off.” and “and Paris, being a dumbfuck who doesn’t know how to think with his upstairs brain-” and honestly I was already somewhat like that but spending a bunch of my formative years on tumblr really honed it.

No, they were nice like that to the male students. I was female presenting at the time so it was just a fucking tank of piranhas. The sexism for the men doesn’t really seem to start until you’re working ortho, psych, or ER and everybody starts looking at you like you’re a damn hoyer that transforms into a battle mech optimus prime style.

Honestly this discussion also highlights the issue that what’s considered inappropriate varies widely and often changes both in terms of prejudice and in terms of context. Most people would agree that an image of a penis entering or inside of a vagina is pornographic unless it’s a medical diagram laying out the anatomical and physiological aspects like the one in the anatomy book my otherwise puritanical parents let me read at the age of six. Most people would agree that nudity is sexual except for, again, anatomical diagrams, but also many classical artistic depictions such as paintings and statues. Hand holding isn’t generally considered sexual except to some people if the people happen to be of the same sex but not if you come from a culture where hand holding is a normal level of intimacy for non sexual friends. Breasts are for some reason considered sexual in most of the areas heavily colonized by people from the places where lactose tolerance past childhood evolved but not most other places which is super handy if you like being able to feed infants. Most people agree that kissing for an extended period while rubbing areas close to the genitals is sexual, but often not enough to restrict it from being viewed by teenagers.

TLDR; what’s even considered “sexual” or “porn” can vary wildly and has historically been used to suppress education, various minorities, and general freedom of expression.

I flunked out of nursing school despite the content itself being fairly easy because I didn’t know how to deal with mean girl shit yet. I passed the second time by just doing whatever they told me to until I graduated. In particular, I remembered some advice from years earlier from an older roommate who had just gotten back from their coast guard training. They said their goal had been to go as long as possible before the instructor even knew their name. Honestly that’s been a pretty great strategy for me when I’ve needed to escape abuses of power ever since; keep your head down, do whatever they tell you to, don’t draw attention to yourself, then book it the first chance you get.

That was the whole purpose of tumblr so yeah. I kid, as I did get started on there at like 14 as a part of various Fandoms, but by the time I was 18 I had been using it for porn for quite some time, largely because fandom is also mostly for porn.

It’s not even the "needs help themselves aspect. That screws them, they say most psych nurses are crazy too, it’s whether they’ve done the work on it, and I think you’d find similar levels of low competence from somebody who just didn’t pay enough attention in school (AND they wouldn’t have the life experience to know what they’re talking about).

Yeah to me I see it as the commoditization / paywalling of normal human supportive interaction. Therapy should be there to supplement normal supportive relationships when they’re unavailable to you or you have a large enough stressor in your life that they’re inadequate to help you manage.

I don’t like the idea of moving towards a society where it’s just expected that most truly supportive interactions have a strict professional-client paid relationship instead of a naturally ebbing and flowing give and take between two friends who are close enough. To me that just feels like capitalism further encroaching into my life by tallying up the worth of every interaction I have so they can demand their cut.

I’m already seeing a therapist for my existing severe mental illness through one of those online gig style therapy services because that was the only place I could find any openings, and they’re already taking their cut that way. I can’t imagine choosing this if I wasn’t already someone who had been hospitalized several times. Difficulty sustaining stable interpersonal relationships is literally a key hallmark of my disorder, and if I was better at it I’d much prefer it! (I’m working on it, LOL).

When coaching new psych nurses on the care of violent patients:

“Don’t be scared. NEVER be stupid.”

Well I’m night shift so it’s while I’m sleeping. But they can’t just give you a day off either because that would also just solve the real issue. Not that therapy is never necessary, but having worked in mental health 8+ years now, 90% of the time 90% of people just need a damn day off (often more than one). Traumas and chronic dysfunctions will absolutely always exist, but we really need to stop focusing (as much) on the “everybody should go to therapy” side and much more on the “what the fuck are we doing to all of these people that all of them need so much therapy???” side (spoiler: It’s too much work for too little pay, and the rent, as always, is too. damn. high.).

What a coincidence!

Well the patients and families use them too and insurance doesn’t reimburse for hospital acquired infections so a patient catching something from the hospital means their care gets put down as money the hospital won’t get back.

It’s more,“please don’t put the thing you put in people’s digestive systems into the food dispenser; that’s disgusting.” People have caught c-diff, vre, h-pylori, and the vowel hepatises from improperly cleaned GI-scopes.

I don’t like being in charge either, but when shit is actively hitting the fan, I’m often the only one willing to do it, and every time I’ve refused shit just hits the fan even harder so now I just deal with it.

Honestly I’ve noticed a lot of it is confidence and mannerism. My partner has a friend who’s over 6ft and 250lb who got stabbed and mugged within a month of living in our city. I’m a little under six foot, 120lb, and I’m an acute psych nurse specializing in the management of high violence risk patients, and I’m friends with at least a few of the homeless dudes (they make great drinking buddies, they know all the best area gossip).

While most of what I do is just not taking stupid chances, a significant portion over it is just “swagger” and being willing to take charge of a situation and get something done when it needs to be. I suspect it was a compliment because you were asking at the time why you’re not as well-liked or approachable as you’d like to be. I often have difficulty making friends because of how much living in that mindset for as long as I have has affected my hypothetical “aura.” People know I’m a protector / healer type, but definitely not in a hugger kind of way!

Do/did you do a lot of cardio? Runners, bikers, swimmers, etc have the BEST veins (you need em)! - was phlebotomist, now am nurse.

Oh some people have some absolute upside-down shelves on their legs. (Dunno about you but) especially fat people. A lot of people don’t realize how much muscle is under there unless they’re big enough to profoundly affect their mobility and that doesn’t usually start happening until around like 350+. There’s a reason Olympic weightlifters don’t look shredded (except them calves). Shredded muscle, especially abs, is almost all for show.

I feel like weird compliments are almost in my job description. I’ve complimented people for everything from a large, solid bowel movement to my depressed patient doing their laundry or a previously catatonic one playing cards. And a lot of complimenting people’s sleep habits, especially if they were manic as fresh hell the previous week.

I knew who he was but had to look up what he looks like. Not bad tbh but I’m a whatever the hypersexual version of demisexual is, like where somebody is just vaguely cool and I’m like “mmmmmyes.”

“Daddy issues.” It’s called daddy issues.

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING.

I’m a switch and the maledom porn is on FIRE with hot Scottish werewolves and vampires flying helicopters. Then femdom has weird goblin men crawling on the floor eating shit. I’m sure that’s the lid for somebody’s extremely bizarre pot but it’s a bizarre disparity.

WHERE ARE THE PERIOD PIECES WITH HEELS AND ELABORATE WIGS???

Especially eyelashes. It’s bizarre to me that eyelashes are considered feminine when increased eyelash thickness / length is practically a male secondary sex characteristic (turns out testosterone doesn’t magically skip your eyelashes). I’ve always wanted write a historical fiction femdom porn where the men dress like birds of paradise just for the principle of the thing; in nature males are more often the “fairer” sex, lol.