Misread the title of the other post which made me think of this question.

I, as a male, have had multiple women ask me how we ride bikes without smashing our balls.

  • AstralPath@lemmy.ca
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    7 months ago

    Honestly with how oblivious most men are to the amount of work the average mother does, this is not a weird or stupid question. Insensitive, sure. Traditional gender roles still spill over into conversation, especially with older folks. The absolute least a father can do is aim to carry an equal share of the load of having children. The bitter reality is that this does not happen nearly as much as it should, hence comments like these.

    Moms are underrated as fuck.

    • Flax@feddit.uk
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      7 months ago

      I think it’s acceptable if the mother isn’t working and the father is basically the breadwinner. Which, y’know, used to be economically viable. But if both parents are sharing the financial load then they should share the parental load as well. And even if a dad is working, he should still be a dad on the weekends and after work. All children need a good father figure.

        • Flax@feddit.uk
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          7 months ago

          Yeah. It’s awful how when society changes to give women more responsibility (financially) that the idea of them looking solely after the children is still expected, even though they are having to work and it dates back to when they were housekeepers.

          • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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            7 months ago

            Am I missing something? Aren’t the people asking the man if he’s giving mom a break the ones perpetuating the “moms are expected to raise children” stereotype? The guy in this scenario is simply doing father things, it’s the assumptive person asking the question that’s hanging onto old beliefs.

            I’m all for fathers being fathers, and I think anyone who bothers to take their kid to the park on off times is probably in the same boat. It comes across as more than a bit condescending to have some random person imply that this activity isn’t one that’s normal for your family.

            • AstralPath@lemmy.ca
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              7 months ago

              Yeah, that’s exactly what’s happening. People seem to be misconstruing my comment as endorsement of gender stereotypes? I don’t know.

              The assumption that the father is just giving mom a break is part of a systemic issue, that by and large women are still expected to bear the bulk of the burden of childcare. Older generations are much more likely to ask that assumptive question as they still see it as the norm. Hell, some families in my own personal circle fit that stereotype like a glove, to the detriment of the mother’s mental health.

    • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      The absolute least a father can do

      I find that these “bare minimum” assertions often crumble upon contact with any real-life scenario

      • Zink@programming.dev
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        7 months ago

        Absolutely. That bare minimum is a distant unreachable fantasy for some married moms I know.

        I don’t get it myself. I wanted to be a father for a long time and since I became one I’ve been loving it. Because you know, I wanted the relationship and all that rather than “you’re supposed to have kids.” It’s sad enough when people do that with dogs, never mind tiny vulnerable humans.