I’ve never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I’ve never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don’t.

The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up. When someone tries to check me out, there’s nothing there and apparently that’s considered abnormal these days. I think it’s starting to affect my life negatively for various reasons I’d rather not get into.

I’d just like some advice about where to start if you wanted to dip your toes in and check it out. LinkedIn, maybe?

    • dingus@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      People say this shit all the time. “Reddit is social media too dura hurr.”

      But anonymous social media sites are an entirely different entity and wildly different experience compared to ones that use your actual name.

      • TwilightVulpine@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Pseudonymous is not even quite the same as anonymous either. It’s not just people randomly saying whatever nonsense like 4chan, there’s all the reputation-building and ego that other social media has, only less personal, for better or worse.

    • krellor@kbin.social
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      10 months ago

      I thought I was taking crazy pills watching people tell the guy not to join social media, on a social media site!

      I think the real question being asked is, should the OP make a social media account that is not anonymous or on one of the mainstream sites. Which I would say go for it if it helps with your IRL social life, just don’t post anything you wouldn’t say in person in public.

    • can@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      While I do consider this my social media outlet it’s different in a few ways. If I meet someone new in person and they’re interested in my online presence

      1. I am not giving out this username
      2. they wouldn’t understand or know what to do with it even if I did
    • Sunfoil@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      They’re forums though, are forums social media? I don’t think services people use anonymously and not for the primary purpose of interacting are social media. The stat has always been 90+% of people are lurkers who just look at memes. Doesn’t sound very social. Scrolling lemmy and reading articles doesn’t get at that part of the brain. We’re not a social group, looking at each others lives.

      What stops being social media if we broaden the definition. YouTube is social media if Lemmy is imo.

        • Sunfoil@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          It’s not mental gymnastics. My reasoning is straight forward, and I disagree.

        • Katrisia@lemm.ee
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          10 months ago

          Is it my imagination or do you think people that don’t consider forums to be social media are doing it out of denial, as if they consider social media to be inferior and they want to be the superior ones without social media, but by encountering you telling them these ugly truths, they deny and defend themselves almost in a tantrum?

          Because that may happen with a person or two, but no, many people don’t have problems having social media, just don’t consider Lemmy a social media for various reasons (e.g. not used with a real name, they do not personally message from here, etc.). If their criteria is wrong or right, I don’t know. I do consider this a social media, but it’s open to discussion.

          It’d be helpful if you stop looking at situations as if they were the crying wojak (them) vs chad wojak (you) because that’s not how we all work.

    • PixxlMan@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      People don’t really know what the term means. Any media where the users create the content is a social media. That’s what social media means! YouTube, reddit, Lemmy, Instagram, Snapchat… All of these are social medias! Perhaps we need some different term to differenciate them based on whether you’re more expected to interact with friends or anonymously with strangers though.

    • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Yes, stupid delusional users who actually know what social media is and isnt, unlike a self aggrandizing imbecile making comments like yours.

    • Furbag@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      People say that all the time, but I disagree. They’re link aggregators with a comments section.

    • Katrisia@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      It is an anonymous social media, and the post is talking about non-anonymous googleable profiles (Facebook, Instagram, etc.). Quite different if you ask me.