It’s like your looking at pictures of a kid you vaguely recognize but can even remember them. “Where do I know that kid from??”
That’s because that person is no longer you. You really don’t have anything in common with them any more. Just a healthy sign that you’ve grown beyond who you used to be and are able to reflect and realize that.
There’s a picture of me as an infant which everyone in my family says they were so happy when I was born. I look at the picture which everyone in my family loves, and I think I look depressed. Which makes sense, because I’ve been depressed my entire life. I can remember being 5 years old, and my parents getting me Super Mario 2, which was incredibly hard to find in 1988. And I love that game. I wanted that game. I begged for that game.
But I was having a bad day that day. I remember saying “I don’t deserve this. Other kids deserve this, but not me.”
And then my mom yelled at me. This was all recorded on VHS. Whenever I see the footage, I feel ashamed that I said that. Because here’s someone trying to show love to me, and here I am at 5 years old rejecting my own mother.
But as far as not connecting with those old photos and videos, no. I DO connect with those old photos and videos. I’m 41 years old, but I’m still the same depressed self hating individual. I only feel ashamed that I rejected someone who was trying to be nice to me.
I typed a lot but it was pretty incoherent so I’m just gonna say yeah, but more so via memories than pictures.
I mean I recognize myself and even remember what it was like back then but man I don’t remember thinking of myself as looking like that. I find my memories of people and things are sorta an averaging of the whole time I knew them with stronger bias to more recent. Since I see myself everyday it is relatively up to date but man pictures from years ago. wow.
I don’t even have a connection to the memories I have as a child- or even a teenager for that matter.
It goes a step beyond for me.
I look at kid pictures of myself and think I was an ugly looking baby. Everyone else thinks I was cute. Which I take to mean everyone is being polite, but I couldn’t care less because I don’t remember being that kid whatsoever.
All babies looks ugly to me… I think its a social construct to say babies are good looking…
Or maybe just a different “beauty” category.
All babies looks ugly to me
Yeah this is in line with how I see babies and kids, so that’s gonna explain some of it. It’s definitely an unwritten rule to say babies are cute.
Though my cousin had a couple kids and the youngest was the exception to the rule when he was like 2-6, just the cutest little thing.
So I don’t know.
