I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: “I am just not so into skinny guys.”

I think this is fair from the woman’s perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: ‘all women are whores’-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don’t want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

  • ABCDE@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Your comments are only about appearance, and thus shallow. Have you tried shifting focus to people rather than what they appear to be at first glance?

    • throwaway@discuss.onlineOP
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      2 months ago

      I do not deny it’s shallow. I am absolutely not savoury when it comes to that (though I do need her to also have similar interests). Be that as it may, I just don’t develop any romantic feelings for them otherwise.

      • cosmicrookie@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Dude… from your interactions in here, i am beginning to not like you either. If i was a woman that you’re talking to, using your outter looks to reject your personality is maybe more gentle than saying you treat people like npcs or that you are annoying.

        • VirtualOdour@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          Yeah, couldn’t agree more. He doesn’t sound like he even likes women, just feels he should own one and probably wants regular sex (on his terms only). I almost feel guilty writing a post trying to help him.

          • throwaway@discuss.onlineOP
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            2 months ago

            just feels he should own one and probably wants regular sex (on his terms only)

            I never, ever said nor implied this. English is not my first language, so maybe I didn’t phrase it all that well. I rarely ever even flirt with women because I’m afraid it will make them uncomfortable. I, as any other person, seek companionship. I know it sounds shallow to put emphasis on looks. But no matter which way I shake it it is an important factor to me. Otherwise it just feels like another friendship to me. I can’t change myself in that regard. And the results speak for themselves. So here I am seeking help to at least not feel bitter about it.

        • throwaway@discuss.onlineOP
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          2 months ago

          I don’t know what to tell you. I only blame myself for being this way. And every woman I meet has every right to refuse me. I do not deny that. I think my bitterness about my life is unfounded. Because it’s all by virtue of my own choices. I do not want to feel this way. Not to gain favours from women but for myself. For that I ask help. That’s it. Sorry you feel this way.