I’m a systems librarian in an academic library. I moved over the Lemmy after Rexxit 2023. I’ve had an account on sdf.org since 2009 (under a different username), and so I chose this instance out of a sense of nostalgia. I do all sorts of fiber arts (knitting, cross stitch, sewing) and love dogs.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 3rd, 2023

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  • Sometimes discoloration of water is just it being full of air. My HOA’s backup water well is like that. It’s been tested and is fine to drink, but it’s incredibly cloudy until it’s sat for a few minutes.

    Also, if you’re on well water get it tested. Even if it was fine when you moved in, things change. Maybe the new farm down the road’s fertilizer is leaking in to the ground water. You won’t know unless someone tests.




  • I don’t know your insurance, location, or financial situation, so the following might be totally irrelevant.

    If you have a primary care doctor/physician, they should be able to get you antidepressants. You don’t need a specialist. You might even be able to have a telehealth visit, instead of going in-person.

    I hope things smooth out for you. BTW, my therapist says carbs are good for short-term stress. Ice cream and chocolates help.

    Also, maybe look into if your local library has any meetups? Mine does a regular knitting/crochet circle (if you just show up, you’ll probably find friendly folks happy to teach you to make a dish cloth), book club, grown-up crafts a couple times a month. Might be good to get out of the house and meet some friendly faces.








  • Thanks. The scars are still there, but things are getting better.

    The best thing to come out of my dad’s death was me becoming closer to his sisters. They’re mostly lovely. Like, they have blind spots, but they’re minor and sometimes adorable. (Example: one of them kept talking about her daughter and her daughter’s roommate. After a couple months of this, I asked directly “are they dating?” Yes, yes they were. They’re now married. My aunt was just awkward about saying her daughter was dating a woman because she lived through times when that could have been a fight, and I think it was habit.)


  • My brother was adopted and my grandmother was similarly biased against him, asking my mom if we got any money from the state for taking care of him. Like, no, he’s her son! There wasn’t even the excuse of racism–my brother is blond-haired and blue-eyed. He just wasn’t her blood.

    Eventually she started liking him as dementia kicked in and she forget his origin. Still messed him up.

    I’m glad your nephew didn’t have to deal with her for all that long, though it sounds like it was already long enough.


  • Mom always thought she was a good person and not racist. The cracks started to show when she’d express options on Facebook, like that sure, black people go to jail for much longer that white people for the same crimes, but it’s their fault for being criminals.

    Lots of little things like that. I started therapy in my late 20s for anger management. A couple months in, my parents and brother came from out of state to visit. It was a Bad Time. My mom and brother kept needling me constantly. They mocked my opinions. They told me I was wrong about local facts. They asked a local for directions then mocked him for having a Boston accent. In Boston.

    The several-day visit ended with me driving them back to their hotel room and my mom telling me the whole trip had been a waste, we were probably the sort of family that should only see each other at funerals, preferably hers.

    Poor dad was hard of hearing, so missed a lot of what was said. He apologized for any part he played in it.

    A few years later in December 2020, my mom brought COVID home from what she described as a mandatory work Christmas breakfast potluck. My dad caught it from her and spent a month in hospital. I don’t know how mandatory that potluck could have been, tbh–she retired a few months later after my dad died. She was all shocked Pikachu that my dad, who was known to be immunocompromised, could die from COVID.

    She also lamented to me, the week before he died, that dating as a widow sucks. Either you date too soon and everyone thinks it’s inappropriate OR you don’t and everyone thinks you’re sad. (Not saying she shouldn’t have thought ahead to her widowhood, but don’t say these things to your kid.)

    Anyways, she sucks and is blocked on my phone. She could email if she cared. My dad was the Good Parent and he had his warts, but he at least tried to relate to me and explain things instead of just assuming I could read minds.




  • grysbok@lemmy.sdf.orgtoFunny@sh.itjust.worksIcebreaker
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    2 months ago

    My partner’s company starts some standup meetings with optional ice breaker questions. Partner will frequently will say “pass” when the ice breaker comes to him. Since he goes early in the rotation, it helps emphasize to newer employees that they don’t have to answer, either.

    Anyways, I’m proud of him for helping destigmatize non-participation in silly stuff.