That’s a good one. A few others that help with my executive dysfunction are:

• “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.” (It’s better to do something than to obsess over trying for the impossible goal of ‘perfection’.)
• “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” (This one helps especially with art and things I enjoy but struggle to do if I’m not instantly great at them.)
• “Laziness does not exist.” (This was inspired by a Medium article I read years ago which explained there is always an underlying cause of procrastination. Mental or physical ill health issues, uncertainty about the task, fear of failure, etc. When I am struggling to move forward, I now look for that reason and can begin to remove the barrier.)

HR response isn’t the only thing though. A number of years ago, my (F) partner (M) was sexually harassed by his female boss. He didn’t report it to HR, but he did sometimes bring it up around his friends. He had multiple people who base a lot of their identity on their feminism/acceptance/equality views tell him it wasn’t possible for him to be a victim of sexual harassment.

And then if he brought it up around more normie people, especially guys, the most frequent first question was, “Is she hot?”

The responses he got from so many people were part of why he never took it to HR. The other part was that she was smart enough to never do it in writing, so it would have been he-said-she-said. It was just easier to get a new job.

I took that comment to be summarizing the platform’s perspective, rather than their own. I think it’s common sense that people will watch/engage with things they don’t like, but the algorithms don’t care about how you feel or why you watched something; they see engagement and they give you more of that thing to drive more engagement. As far as the unfeeling numbers go, engagement might as well be liking; they don’t need to distinguish a difference.

ask any group of people who wear bras what the best part of the day is, and they’ll tell you it’s taking it off.

Nah fam. I can’t stand being without support unless I’m in bed. I’ve gotten used to wearing just an elastic sports bra at home, but I can’t stand being without underwire when I’m moving around a lot or out of my house. The bra does not come off until I put PJs on. (And even then, I’ve started sleeping in my sports bra more often than not.)

Getting my first properly fitted bra was life-changing. My chronic back pain dropped by about 70% and existence became dramatically more tolerable.

Someone already mentioned that cup size has no meaning without band size, but also want to help dispel the myth that D is a “huge” size.

The rule of thumb is that your cup size is the difference between the size of your rib cage and the size around your chest. Then it’s 1” per cup, with caveats and adjustments, but we’re talking basics.

So in reality a C cup is a 3” difference between ribcage and breasts. That’s pretty modest. However in media, it’s often played up that DD is your Playboy model size, but those are more likely to be a G cup or larger, at least if they were sized correctly.

Aww, thank you! Having a great team all around (PMs, devs, designers) is a big part of what makes it so great and so fun. I am lucky to have all of them. I also hope you get to work with an awesome PM. The PM can really make work hell for developers if they’re bad.

I thought of myself as a shield for my developers until I learned the industry term is “shit umbrella.” And yup, that’s exactly what I try to be for them! Pass through all the good things and reframe the crap I hear into something we can improve.

Not really, but that’s largely because what I consider to be my area of expertise is extremely niche. I am a Lead Product Manager for an internal software. I started out as an IT business analyst for the software literally as soon as it started development out of the proof-of-concept phase. Two years in, I got promoted to Product Manager. Five more years and I’ve had 2 more promotions, growing to the Lead role I have now.

There is only one person at my company whose knowledge of the application rivals my own, and he started out in QA at the same time, then backfilled my BA role when I moved to Product. I know that application inside and out; its upstream dependencies, its users, its place in our business and our technical architecture, etc. And that’s because I’ve had a hand in building it since the beginning.

People I’ve never even met think of my name as synonymous with the software. I am literally the expert on it. My tool touches almost every part of our business and ultimately makes the day-to-day jobs of over 60k people easier. I constantly learn from working on it, and in seven years it has never been boring.

However, I am no longer the only PM for it. I manage a team of 3, and I empower them to run as autonomously as possible. Every year I am less of an expert because it has outgrown what one person can maintain in their head. I use my knowledge to build up my team, and they are becoming powerhouses in their own right. I am proud when I don’t know something in my app, because it means one of my staff owned that feature so wholly that I didn’t need to be closely involved.

Now, what of this knowledge is applicable to a broader industry? I honestly don’t know, and that sometimes freaks me out a bit. I think of Product Management as my vocation, and yet I’ve only ever done it on one team, one product. I take a course every couple years, but otherwise am not super up on generic Product Management skills/trends. However, multiple people who have broader backgrounds working with Product Managers than I do have called me the best PM they’ve ever worked with, so presumably I’ve gotten something right.

Not really an answer to the question as you intended it, I’m sure. But I do think about my role and my expertise in it a lot. And I really love it.

Omg, I had no clue that existed. Thank you!

FFX

First time I played was at a boyfriend’s house. I got like 80% of the way through, then we broke up.

Second time, I let a friend borrow my GameCube in exchange for his PS2. I got about 80% of the way through, then he wanted his PS2 back.

I finally got my own PS2. Played about 80% of the way through but had a couple bad builds and couldn’t beat a boss. I didn’t have energy to grind my way into a better build, so I just never finished.

It’s been ~20 years. I still sometimes think I’ll break out the old PS2 and see if my save file is there. I probably won’t.

Lots of things that ultimately come down to hyper-mobility (thanks Ehlers-Danlos!), including:

• Lick my elbow
• Pull my shoulder visibly out of socket (not painful at all, and happens if I carry something heavy if I’m not careful)
• Pop my hip out of socket while standing (sometimes painful, always somewhat unpleasant, so I’ve had to learn how to not do it)
• Hold my hands behind my back and pull them to my front
• Rotate my arm >360°
• Bend my thumb to my forearm

If I’m understanding your description correctly (the image didn’t come through), I can do this too! I heard once as a kid it was impossible and I refused to accept that, so I practiced until I could do it.

Rephrasing to see if we’re talking about the same thing: I can point my fingers towards each other in front of me, then circle one hand way from myself and the other towards myself, and continue looping them in opposite directions. Most people can do it for 1-2 loops, but then end up moving both fingers in the same direction.

Yes!

I also save the last bit of candy or other snacks, sometimes for days, until I really want it (most recently, I left the last 2 pieces in a box of Buncha Crunch for over a week. Yeah, it’s weird. I know).

My partner used to finish things I’d leave, which upset me. Then he’d finish it but replace it with an unopened packet, which I appreciated but it still bugged me.

He doesn’t understand it at all, but he’s learned that saving the last bit for “the right time” is important to me. Seeing him leave my little crazy treats around for days at a time makes me feel so loved.

My last bite should be of my favorite part of the meal. Finish my least favorite part first.

The greatest compliment I can pay a meal is that I couldn’t choose which part to make my last bite.

The question and response you’re responding to aren’t about working in the office on a regular basis, just about the occasional in-person gathering. Your response comes across as complaints about working in the office daily.

I cannot imagine going back to an office job that isn’t WFH, but I agree strongly with the commenter here acknowledging the value of the occasional in-person socializing.

Even before 2020, I worked in a small remote office far from my thousands of coworkers at our corporate office. The relationships I was able to build spending 3-4 days at HQ every quarter or so greatly impacted my day-to-day work for the better. I have a specific example of someone I was having trouble working with for months, but after a single face-to-face interaction, for no reason I could name, we were suddenly great partners. She even left the company for a few years then came back a couple months ago and reached out to me, excited we’d get to work together again.

I don’t see value in working day-to-day in person. The company gets significantly more value from me by allowing me to work from home. But interstitial socializing of the occasional in-person event makes a significant difference in the relationships I have with my coworkers, which makes the team stronger and the work more enjoyable.