I am not going to say I agree or disagree with every single ‘take’ in these articles/posts, nor can I vet every claimed / alleged act for any level of accuracy, but these are pretty comprehensive catalogues of insane levels of sexual harassment committed / alleged to have been committed by either entirely or almost entirely women, at a recent “dark romance” book convention.
I will surely get crucified for pointing this out, but my experience indicates that there is a pervasive mentality among women specifically of certain fandoms that because they are women, they can’t be the perpetrators of sexual harassment, only the victims, and then only specifically by men. Therefore they can do whatever they want to other women because we’re all girls, so obviously it’s “allowed.”
This occasionally seems to get logically extended to the notion that women can harass men without consequences, either because only women can be the victims of sexual harassment or violence (see above), or that the men in question ought to just enjoy the attention and be grateful for how “lucky” they are.
All of the above is broadly analogous to one dude coming up to another dude and just grabbing his crotch. Everyone can imagine how that would play out, and thus it’s self-evident to any outside observer that this kind of mentality is bullshit.
I didn’t see an argument anywhere, uh, what are you referring to?
Are you… dubious at the idea of women broadly having the capacity to be abusive, sexually harass people?
Because I can actually supply stats and make an argument there.
For starters, there is still a massive heteronormative stigma against the idea of men being able to be victims of, or report things like being sexually harassed or worse by women, because when you as a man do that, society broadly ignores or belittles you.
Its… part of how cishet male machismo / performative masculinity functions, it isn’t only enforced by men on other men, its enforced by women on men as well.
See how we are still as a society broadly still just laughing at male prison rape, still broadly hesitant to condemn or care about ‘older female authority figure takes advantage of younger male subordinate’ type siuations as much as we broadly care about the reverse.
About 41% of women and 26% of men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime and reported a related impact.
Over 61 million women and 53 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
Yeah, I’m not gonna tell you this is a perfectly gender/sex neutral thing, men obviously have a higher propensity, on average, to do this kind of shit, but uh… 26% of of men being victims is nothing to sneeze at.
Thats roughly 34 million adult men in the US who report being either sexually assaulted/raped/harassed, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by mainly women, given that about 95% of US men identify as hetero, so I guess you can pare that down to about 32 1/3 million male victims of women.
… And, you’ve probably got some undercounting going on there, both due to the stigma, and due to a woman forcing a man to have sex not even being legally classed as a crime in much of the US.
So yeah, yeah, sexual abuse and harassment and stalking is always wrong, but this is not a thing that only men do, many women do it as well.
As a caveat to this and all the other example figures being thrown around: just because the victim is hetero, does not mean the perpetrator of harassment or assault is too. In a lot of cases it’s the victim declining or rejecting the advances outright that only prompts the perp to be more forceful, man or woman.
True, this gets complicated in that way, I don’t know off the top of my head a decent study that tries to actually quantify and assess that, as… usually when these wide scale surveys/studies are done, they don’t ask for the sexual orientation of the partner, sometimes they don’t even ask the victim what their orientation is.
But, there are studies specific to more like, ‘sexual violence in the (whichever subsection of LGBTQ+) community’… but at least off the top of my head, I don’t know of any that you could…
… basically, do the statistical correction/specification, to get that level of detail.
Yeah, I’m not gonna tell you this is a perfectly gender/sex neutral thing, men obviously have a higher propensity, on average, to do this kind of shit
Yes.
You’re way off topic here. We’re not talking about intimate partner violence, we’re talking about making gross statements or inappropriately touching strangers at a Comic Con
Oh, you first critiqued me for a specific anecdote not being relevant at a societal level, and now you don’t see how broad data at a societal level, on a very similar kind of activity, is relevant at all?
If you can’t follow the logic here, the logic is:
You said an anecdote doesn’t prove anything about society.
So I then argued that women broadly certainly have the capacity to commit sexual harassment, as evidenced by their capacity to do very similar things to their partners.
What I am arguing against is the idea that women can be “bad, but in different ways”.
No, they can be bad in the exact same ways.
They can commit all kinds of IPV, and, they can disregard the bodily autonomy of others at conventions.
No, turns out, in the exact same way:
https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2025/08/sinners-stardust-sexual-assault/
https://annalisereads.com/sinners-stardust-2025
https://peggyjaeger.com/2025/08/21/problematic-bookcons/
I am not going to say I agree or disagree with every single ‘take’ in these articles/posts, nor can I vet every claimed / alleged act for any level of accuracy, but these are pretty comprehensive catalogues of insane levels of sexual harassment committed / alleged to have been committed by either entirely or almost entirely women, at a recent “dark romance” book convention.
I will surely get crucified for pointing this out, but my experience indicates that there is a pervasive mentality among women specifically of certain fandoms that because they are women, they can’t be the perpetrators of sexual harassment, only the victims, and then only specifically by men. Therefore they can do whatever they want to other women because we’re all girls, so obviously it’s “allowed.”
This occasionally seems to get logically extended to the notion that women can harass men without consequences, either because only women can be the victims of sexual harassment or violence (see above), or that the men in question ought to just enjoy the attention and be grateful for how “lucky” they are.
All of the above is broadly analogous to one dude coming up to another dude and just grabbing his crotch. Everyone can imagine how that would play out, and thus it’s self-evident to any outside observer that this kind of mentality is bullshit.
Let’s be honest, supplying a handful of case examples to the contrary does not refute an argument about society
I didn’t see an argument anywhere, uh, what are you referring to?
Are you… dubious at the idea of women broadly having the capacity to be abusive, sexually harass people?
Because I can actually supply stats and make an argument there.
For starters, there is still a massive heteronormative stigma against the idea of men being able to be victims of, or report things like being sexually harassed or worse by women, because when you as a man do that, society broadly ignores or belittles you.
Its… part of how cishet male machismo / performative masculinity functions, it isn’t only enforced by men on other men, its enforced by women on men as well.
See how we are still as a society broadly still just laughing at male prison rape, still broadly hesitant to condemn or care about ‘older female authority figure takes advantage of younger male subordinate’ type siuations as much as we broadly care about the reverse.
https://www.cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about/index.html
The actual paper they cite for those tidbits:
https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/124646
Yeah, I’m not gonna tell you this is a perfectly gender/sex neutral thing, men obviously have a higher propensity, on average, to do this kind of shit, but uh… 26% of of men being victims is nothing to sneeze at.
Thats roughly 34 million adult men in the US who report being either sexually assaulted/raped/harassed, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by mainly women, given that about 95% of US men identify as hetero, so I guess you can pare that down to about 32 1/3 million male victims of women.
… And, you’ve probably got some undercounting going on there, both due to the stigma, and due to a woman forcing a man to have sex not even being legally classed as a crime in much of the US.
So yeah, yeah, sexual abuse and harassment and stalking is always wrong, but this is not a thing that only men do, many women do it as well.
As a caveat to this and all the other example figures being thrown around: just because the victim is hetero, does not mean the perpetrator of harassment or assault is too. In a lot of cases it’s the victim declining or rejecting the advances outright that only prompts the perp to be more forceful, man or woman.
True, this gets complicated in that way, I don’t know off the top of my head a decent study that tries to actually quantify and assess that, as… usually when these wide scale surveys/studies are done, they don’t ask for the sexual orientation of the partner, sometimes they don’t even ask the victim what their orientation is.
But, there are studies specific to more like, ‘sexual violence in the (whichever subsection of LGBTQ+) community’… but at least off the top of my head, I don’t know of any that you could…
… basically, do the statistical correction/specification, to get that level of detail.
If you know of any, I’d be glad to read them!
Yes.
You’re way off topic here. We’re not talking about intimate partner violence, we’re talking about making gross statements or inappropriately touching strangers at a Comic Con
Oh, you first critiqued me for a specific anecdote not being relevant at a societal level, and now you don’t see how broad data at a societal level, on a very similar kind of activity, is relevant at all?
If you can’t follow the logic here, the logic is:
You said an anecdote doesn’t prove anything about society.
So I then argued that women broadly certainly have the capacity to commit sexual harassment, as evidenced by their capacity to do very similar things to their partners.
What I am arguing against is the idea that women can be “bad, but in different ways”.
No, they can be bad in the exact same ways.
They can commit all kinds of IPV, and, they can disregard the bodily autonomy of others at conventions.
Keep moving that goal post lol