Don’t watch nature documentaries, then.

David Attenborough: “This is Snowball, a 4-week-old arctic hare”

[I pause the documentary]

Partner: “Babe, why’d you do that?”

Me: “Just getting some tissues.”

Partner: “Why? Look at the cute bunny!”

[Unpause]

David Attenborough: “This is Throat-shredder. She is the leader of her pack of starving arctic wolves.”

Partner: “Oh, no.”

Me: “Tissue?”

[Grisly killing noises from the TV]