• jqubed@lemmy.world
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    17 days ago

    In all my years I’ve never walked into a friends home and been offered a baguette or a fresh slice of focaccia.

    Well then your friends suck

  • TootSweet@lemmy.world
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    17 days ago

    “Shit, man, shit shit shit.”

    “Steve man. Calm the fuck down. What’s wrong?”

    “It’s a customer, man.”

    “Please tell me they didn’t take an orange from the bottom of the stack again.”

    “No, no. Worse. So much worse. He’s buying the boule.”

    “Ha. You had me worried for a minute. Nobody buys the boule. You misheard.”

    “No, man, I’m telling you. He asked where it was. I made him repeat the question. He said again he wanted the ‘sourdough boule.’ He’s got it in his cart now.”

    “…You’re serious.”

    “Yes, man. He’s about to fucking buy the boule.”

    “Shit, man. What are we going to do?”

    “I don’t know. I- I don’t know. This has never happened before.”

    “We have to alert them.”

    “Them?”

    “You know, them.”

    “Wh- you mean the simulation people?”

    “You got a better idea?”

    “Yeah, maybe drinking bleach. Not to mention we have no way to con-”

    “H-hello? Um… Sim- simulation people? Um-”

    “What the fuck are you doing, Ted? You fucking dipshi-”

    “Yes?”

    “…”

    “…”

    “Steve… you… you heard that, ri-”

    “I don’t have all day. What is it?”

    “Shit, um.”

    “Yes sir, um, Mister Simulator sir, I-”

    “Missus.”

    “Oh, um, sorry, the voice is just kindof… tinny an-”

    “Look, we’ve got a problem. It’s one of the… simulated.”

    “Mmm hmm?”

    “He’s on his way to the checkout now.”

    “And?”

    “He’s buying the boule.”

    “Mmm. Right. Thank you for alerting me. This anomaly will be dealt with.”

    “Oh. Um. O…kay. Um. Thank yo-”

    “Wait, how exactly will it be deal-”

  • Asafum@feddit.nl
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    16 days ago

    I’m just laughing at “bread” and “proof” but I know they didn’t intend on the pun.

  • thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world
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    16 days ago

    you’re telling me that this guy saw something that he didn’t understand, but said piqued his curiosity, and instead of trying it to see what it’s like he goes straight to schizo posting about it on the Internet?

    this is why trump is winning.

    • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      16 days ago

      /b/ - Random

      The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

      Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    16 days ago

    the bread is real. what you arent seeing is the removal of the unsold products that are almost certainly being donated to homeless shelters and hog farmers, then replaced with fresh loaves the next day. there are fda rules in place to prevent leaving such products out more than a couple days.

    • bad_alloc@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      16 days ago

      are almost certainly being donated to homeless shelters being thrown away and people who are taking some are persecuted… and hog farmers

      fixed that for you :)

      • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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        16 days ago

        you fixed nothing maybe where you live thats how it works but here in tejas we follow food safety rules as well as donated unsold produce to our local foodbanks and shelters. if that isnt how your community works then i hope you get to experience it firsthand. i have and without those good folks deeds we wouldve starved to death a long time ago.

        • djsoren19@yiffit.net
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          16 days ago

          Have worked in grocery stores, it just gets thrown out. The level of food waste in the United States is legitimately stomach churning.

            • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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              16 days ago

              Arizona it’s literally considered illegal to dumpster dive anywhere inside of a curb and yet they still also pour bleach on the tossed food at grocery stores to “dissuade” people.

              So you can be arrested if you survive being poisoned.

          • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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            16 days ago

            In France it is illegal to throw food out. It has to go to the homeless or those stores will get fined.

            You do know most people don’t live in the US, right?

            • Madison420@lemmy.world
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              16 days ago

              You can safely assume American when you see English and monstrous business behaviors. Aside from that I think the US makes up most of Lemmy traffic anyhow.