The spices at the grocery store I’ve been going to for the past 25 years has had the spices alphabetized this entire time.

Edit, I misread the question but I’m not fixing my response

Buy 10 spatulas and get one FREE!!

These must be very comforting words for this fella!

Kinda off topic, but why do homeless people always seem to have a phethora of bike rims? Like just the rims

Aw man. Get me a bowl of cocoa puffs.

Free chocolate milk after you’re done. Yes please.

unzips

I was drunk and couldn’t drive, so my wife took me to get more beer. She asked me to put gas in our vehicle so I did because it was cold out. I noticed the pump behind me had the nozzle sitting on the ground which was hilarious to me. I took a snapchat picture and posted it saying “what a dumbass!” then I went inside to get my beer.

I get back in the truck and I’m having a grand old time showing my wife what the idiot behind us must have done when I hear the “CLUNK”. I was told I turned as white as a ghost. I’d done it. It was my fault.

I went inside, the cashier knew I was drunk (I was being obnoxious). I was profusely apologized and admitted it was all my fault. She went outside with me, explained it didn’t break and that they can reattach it, BUT there’s a charge.

The cashier then said to me “get in your truck and get as far away as possible immediately. I didn’t see you, this didn’t happen, and I don’t know what happened to the camera footage. Have a nice night.”

I hopped in the truck and just told my wife DRIVE. Security came rolling up as we were leaving (by chance).

Water.

I’m going with the Mellotron.

It’s a keyboard that uses strings of tapes for each note. It pulls the tape over a head and plays that note until the tape runs out. When you’re playing fast, sometimes the tape isn’t all the way down, so it makes everything sound super custom.

Think Strawberry Fields by the Beatles. That’s a Mellotron you’re hearing.

Winco if you have one. Their home brand stuff tastes WAY better than name brand, especially the Winco duritos

I like otter pops when I have a sore throat!

I just about lost my mind earlier out of frustration for this. I love listening to rap/hip hop and the algorithm makes multiple mixes with the exact same songs every time.

I just typed in “underground” in search and found so much good shit. Not even all rap. There’s all sorts of great music I have never heard!

My job. I love making people happy! I actually look forward to Mondays and dread Fridays.

I was using a public toilet that had one.

Turned out, you also had to lock the door!