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Cake day: June 24th, 2023

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  • I feel like an adult almost all the time, but it got more common when I gave birth. I’m not a kid. I’m not a teenager. I’m not a college student. I’m a grown adult and everything I do all day taking care of others is adult stuff. Even the fun moments of playing a video game or looking at my phone hidden behind a book, or the hard stuff where I have no idea what to do. I don’t feel like a kid, I feel like an adult playing a fun game or an adult feeling confused and scared.

    To me, being a kid meant feeling confident that everything was being taken care of for me. I don’t get the adults feeling like kids thing when things are confusing or hard. When I was a kid my parents dealt with the hard stuff, or at least helped me deal with it


  • As a teen I had little to no interest in penetration. Tampons didn’t feel good, so why would I assume something else would? I wasn’t really interested in penetration until I was interested in my partner specifically.

    Once I (eventually) figured out pleasurable masturbation, I still stuck with external stuff mostly, and fingers in general. Eventually I got a job and a debit card and could privately online shop, but my little bag of toys continues to go mostly unused. Nothing beats my fingers.

    I don’t know about other women, but for me masturbation is and always has been much more about what’s going on in my head, and then adding the pleasurable sensations to that, rather than experimenting with different sensations.

    For a beginner I literally cannot imagine a cucumber. How many dicks are as thick as a grocery store cucumber? None I’ve seen in real life. Maybe in porn, but I can’t think of any. It would just hurt. Beginners would need something maybe the size of 2 female fingers. (Maybe a farmers market cucumber that’s skinnier?)


  • Yta. She stood by you while you were out of work, and I’m wondering if she only went back to this same boss same company because she felt she had to because of your job situation.

    I’m also getting AH vibes from the fact that you’ve been considering moving on for a while but curiously didn’t do it while she was footing the bills but now that you’ve got employment you’re actually considering it. If you have any interest in not being the AH, you should carry her until she can find a job she actually likes with decent pay, decent people (like she just did for you), and then after you get that true financial stability reassess if you actually think the relationship isn’t working.












  • ChexMax@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.worldDaughters and Fathers
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    6 months ago

    So much nice advice here. I’m turning 30 this month and my dad and I continue to be very close. Top things I’m grateful for about my dad:

    My dad is always lifting me up, but he did not and does not give me empty praise. He to this day gives me compliments about specific things he notices, which is amazing for my self esteem. Some examples: While I was cleaning the other day and kind of barking directions : “I love it when you get in the zone like this. It’s like you can accomplish anything” or “that’s something I have always been in awe of about you; you somehow know when people are down and figure out a way to lift them up. You’re very intuitive about it.” Or during a long day of hard work, " you’re like a machine! You’re incredible. Do you need anything?" Complimenting every little thing will just make her not trust your compliments. Being specific and accurate in your praise will help her feel truly good about herself and also strengthen your bond.

    Idk what it’s like if it’s a step daughter and not a bio daughter but my dad would take me out. We never called it daddy daughter dates or anything (ew) but he would take me to dinner and a movie, or buy me flowers, or stop for coffee or ice cream at local shops. If we had to go somewhere for work or to pick up something for a home project he’d just stop at a bookstore and say this place looks cool, want to procrastinate a little in here with me? I know he loves to spend real time with me and he’s always opening me up to new places/hobbies

    MOST IMPORTANTLY: my dad adores and dotes on my mom. There is nothing he won’t do for her. He will help her with the same problem a hundred times. He will make her coffee just the way she likes it every morning. He spoils her, he relies on her, he treats her like he is lucky to be around her, and that helps me to know exactly how I should be treated. I don’t allow anyone to mistreat me, not partners, not coworkers, not friends or in-laws. I know what a healthy relationship looks like, and I know what a partnership of respect and love looks like. My parents argue in front of me, sure, but I never ever doubt how much they love each other.


  • This is a thoughtless take. Do you know how hard it is to do things randomly? It takes way more work than doing things for a reason. Just because you don’t know the reason, you assume it’s arbitrary? That kind of thinking is why simple rules and instructions don’t get followed mucking up entire systems.

    From another comment on this thread:

    “I think it goes back to Fannie Farmer in 1896, who wrote the first major and comprehensive cookbook in English that used any kind of standard measurements. European cookbooks mostly used vague instructions without any standardized weights or numbers before that. At this point in the industrialized world standardized cup measures were relatively cheap and available. Scales were relatively bulky, expensive, and inaccurate in 1896. So the whole tradition got started, and most of the major cookbooks owed something to Fannie Farmer. Cookbooks that used standardized weights probably got started in other countries much later, when scales were becoming commonplace.”