former bed side nurse here on sick leave till the end of the month. I should start my new job away from patients with normal working hours on October 1st.
I feel drained, even though I eat and sleep well, the best I’ve slept in months, my circadian rhythm is that of a normal human being, I can cook, go shopping, I even play some hobbies now.
Nobody yells at me or makes passive aggressive or backhanded remarks for me to hear.
The 1st. of October is a week away and I don’t believe I’ll be a fully functioning human being by then, most probably I’ll ask for a 2 week sick leave extension.
what worked for you to go back to your normal self?
Hi. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Over 12 years in therapy, about 10 years into my professional career. Can speak at length as to what goes into burn out, but you don’t care. You’re there. You need help getting out.
The absolute most maniacal piece of the puzzle is that everything (and everyone) is telling you to do less of what’s burning you out and to make more time for rest etc.
Rest is important. Let me make that clear. However:
If you were to add exercising daily, and also add an hour or two dedicated towards a hobby every day, this will counterintuitively reduce your burnout symptoms.
As a person who keeps their work and personal email inbox empty, believe me, I know the advice is nails on a chalkboard. I seek 0 chaos. Adding to chaos surely won’t bring me closer, right?
Wrong.
The paradox here is that “adding load” in the form of exercise or a hobby is not the same as piling on more work. It’s giving your brain and body different inputs… Psychologists call this “recovery through detachment and mastery.” You unplug from the stressor while engaging in something meaningful or physically beneficial, which recharges your coping capacity.
yes 100% this. in CBT, they would say to “take actions that are in line with your values.”
your values aren’t your morals or your beliefs - they’re the things that make life worth living. what’s really important to you? when you look back, what is the thing you value most (or will regret not having done)? find a way to do something that feeds into that.
your job isn’t you. for most people, it’s just some shit you have to do. your values are you. and they should be your first priority.
That’s all great advice… if you actually get the time and physical room for it. Which many people don’t. It’s just rise and grind, rinse & repeat, any pause meaning homelessness or worse.
It’s simply not true, and a convenient excuse we make for ourselves when we’re burnt out.
It does not take you 4 hours to commute either way. And that assumes 8 hours sleep.
The overwhelming majority of people have 3-6 free hours every day.
chores and care for family and demands from others aren’t nothing. That said, we have the average numbers for phone use (and the OP is on lemmy so…)
You’re right, it’s my own failure for not thriving in a capitalistic hellhole.
Something I am painfully aware of every single day, don’t you worry. It’s not like anyone around me will let me forget it.
Burn out takes up to two years to recover from, so a few weeks is really not enough to recover.
Consider watching this video (or don’t, it did make me cry when I was needing to leave patient care).
so I’m going to have a way to work and sustain myself while doing some therapy?
Did you do therapy or simply started your new job and somehow your brain forgot that part of your former life? Talked to friends?
I’ll watch the video now
Burnout has lasting effects. The only effective antidote is rest until rest actually leads to recovery once again. I have struggled with actually resting, as opposed to merely pausing, but feeling anxious about the next batch of commitments to try to live up to.
The quality of your rest is likely to determine what happens next. Rest the best and deepest you can.
Peace.
as opposed to merely pausing,
this is the worst. knowing the shitstorm you stepped away from is going to be a shitstorm when you return, and knowing you can’t influence it but know it’s coming means you can’t actually rest.
have been through this extensively. good point.
Sorry to be blunt but at some stage you might have to step back and take a look at your own actions and attitude and see that the only constant in all this is……you. From your own posts over the last 6 months you’ve painted a picture of someone who has issues with pretty much everyone you’ve ever worked with, are filled with hate towards everyone, and can’t get along with your coworkers.
This is like the 6th thread I’ve seen on here by you, every one almost identical in that you hate your job, you hate everyone there, everyone is mean to you, everyone else is lazy, etc……
It seems like you have some very deep issues that are causing this behaviour and reaction from both yourself and others.
This is like the 6th thread I’ve seen on here by you, every one almost identical in that you hate your job, you hate everyone there, everyone is mean to you, everyone else is lazy, etc
then read the thread again dude, apparently you didn’t notice I no longer work there
That is all you can respond with to my comment?
You’re proving my point - you moved to a new job and you’re just having the exact same issues as the last job, and the job before that.
I must insist you read the thread again. I haven’t even started my new job.
Kindly point where I’m having the exact same issues at a new job I haven’t even started.
calm down, think before writing.
You truly have to find what helps you. For some people it’s minimal activity and relaxation, for others it’s something frantic and crazy(but not their job), some people turn to sex and relationships, others turn towards absolute control, while someone else may prefer to fully relinquish control of everything and just plain let another person be in control of every aspect of their life.
Being burned out takes a while to figure out sometimes. I personally want to be 70 feet under water on a reef every chance I get so I don’t have to think about or really deal with people. Nature often helps people who are in jobs where they are stuck indoors and time with very few people and minimal communication if they normally deal with a constant stream of people. Basically the polar opposite of their job.
Going for a walk in a park our on a beach is a good place to start it you can. Find something that allows your mind to just exist and be a part of your surroundings. In a pinch you may find that searching for an asmr nature video may help if you can’t figure out what you want to do or don’t have easy access. Sometimes it’s about finding your element. If the idea of being in water sets you on edge and stresses you out it’s probably not going to help, at the same time if you don’t like heat going for a jog in a desert won’t be your cup of tea either.
I don’t really know the context here, but what’s normal to you? Like, what specifically are you trying to get back to?
I don’t want to go to work dreading having to go to work, I don’t want to think about how I’m going to be yelled at, what snarky remarks I’m gonna have to hear, what coworkers are going to lazy around while I work and their sit on their asses, I don’t want to prepare a working plan for the day only to be completely ignored by a coworker that, while not my superior, feels and acts like it only because she’s been there longer than me.
I don’t want to go to work in fear.
this looks like PTSD now.
I want to go to work to do the job to the best of my abilities feeling rested, to do my pauses as stipulated in the contract, to avoid drama and go home.
Do you think another career path would alleviate these issues, or do you feel like any job you go into you’ll have these fears?
this is bed nursing specific
Rest for the mind. Anything that lets me not think and just kind of exist.
Long baths with nice-smelling bath bombs, meditation, even just deciding with intention “okay, this evening I’m just going to lay in bed and watch this set of YouTube documentaries that looks interesting, and if I fall asleep for a bit, I’ll just rewind when I wake up.” Put on an album and listen to it start to finish, and either let it wash over you or let yourself get lost in the little details.
I tend to “relax” by starting new projects, so finding ways to actually relax has been hard. If you’re a little bored and understimulated, you’re on the right track.
Good luck. Medical work is really, really hard, and I hope your new job is a hell of a lot better!
thank you
I have no advice, I’d just like to congratulate you on leaving a toxic work environment. A lot of people ask for coping advice that will help them tolerate their lousy job, when what they really need to do is get the hell out of there.
It will take a year or so to recover.
Don’t give a fuck attitude going forward is a must.
You are trading time for money. Nothing else.
Allow yourself to get bored so you can start doing hobbies again
Don’t give a fuck attitude going forward is a must.
I’m gonna have to ask you to explain here:
I stopped giving a fuck about my coworkers 2 weeks before calling in sick, like, fuck them and I hope they burn in hell. If I ever have to set foot at that god forsaken piece of shit ward I’m calling in sick again. Fuck em.
I also don’t give a fuck about any of my former managers.
I don’t want to to say I don’t give a flying fuck about my current hospital, because I’m staying with them on a different role until I find something better, which may or may not happen, but it’s a clock in clock out and I’m fucking done with you and fuck you asshole situation
you suggest not giving a fuck even going forward? but I do need to give a fuck not to lose my new position until I have secured a newer one, right? I don’t even know if I’m going to hate the new position away from patients as much as the ward.
you other 3 bullet points are great though
I’m sorry but this attitude is greatly contributing to your burnout for sure. Carrying this much anger isn’t healthy, and it wears on you.
I wouldn’t say you “don’t give a fuck about them”, because if you didn’t you wouldn’t hate them and despise them so much. You wouldn’t even have a second thought about them.
You’ve got to address those feelings first.
I don’t know if this is PTSD, but the mere mention of their names and remembering them infuriates me.
I know I should be better than this and leave the past behind me, but somehow I cannot.
At least I’m eating and resting well
Seperate your mental state from your job.
Obviously do your job as required but bare minimum. Don’t get emotionally entangled with coworkers and subjects.
They are all NPCs, not real people, that’s how corporate world operates.
That also means the flip side… Zero animosity, just business. Nothing personal. It takes practice but once you get there. All that shit just slides off like tefflon.
People won’t like you for it but you won’t care.
Like I said, it will take a year. But first step is to acknowledge how inhumane these conditions are.
People won’t like you for it but you won’t care.
actually, some unidentified coworkers complained I’m not friendly and the way I speak is demanding.
My former supervisor seemed to care about this because she came to me with these accusations, repeatedly. I still don’t know if this something big enough to fire somebody.
I don’t care, don’t give a fuck but apparently hr does…
she came to me with these accusations, repeatedly
god forbid she had to her job of managing. not your problem. it is not your job o make these people like you. your job is to do your job. with that being said, don’t expect favours. people will want blood. doing bare min, legally required is your defense on that.
just don’t give them any vector of attack. remember time for money. do enough to earn your salary, the rest can get fucked.
go home, enjoy time with loved ones, take care of yourself. this system is designed exploit you and the normie NPCs are just that. let them ruin their lives over a shiti pay check.
control your consumption and stack cash, labour will not set you free. cash money will tho
Give a fuck while you’re on the property and don’t give them any space in your mind, heart or soul when you’re gone.
That said, fuck them, hope they burn in hell is the opposite of not giving a fuck since they still get that attention or energy from you. Try to think of them as little as possible and give them as little emotional energy as possible when you do think of them.
you are right, but somehow I cannot stop ruminating about this. Just thinking about them and how I was treated infuriates me.
Find out the root cause. Not that that’s easy, I agree. However you need to find out why it happens to be able to address it.
For me it is autism. Just saying since the causes can vary wildly and be totally unexpected.
