I enjoy job simulator type games and really like the aspect of decorating and taking something and improving it. I’m a sucker for visual progress and I’m comfortable with physical labor in real life, so why can I only do it in games and structured activities?
When I want to do dishes I usually start sitting at my desk or laying down on the couch or bed. Then I think about how if I want to eat later I’m going to have to do dishes because I’m out of clean plates/silverware/bowls/pots. Then I think about how I mind as well round up all the dishes in the apartment. Then I want to clean up the apartment. Then I usually start wanting to clean my room because it’s gross. And then I think that I’m gross and should shower and brush my teeth. Then I get depressive and stay where I was feeling bad.
Sometimes I manage to power through and because the dishes are backed up so much I get the hot water going and let the dishes soak for a few minutes, then I have to overcome depressive thoughts again and do the dishes otherwise I sleep on the couch and the entire day has failed.
When I do manage to do dishes anyways I can only do so much until the drying rack is full, and when it’s full I just drain the water and grab whatever I cleaned to make spaghetti or something.
Depression & shame is rough. I fight that all the time too. Both are very demotivating. Hopefully you will find the exercise helpful. I am trying to get back to that again too. I walked to the store and back (15 min, hills) Sunday. I didn’t get a chance to do anything today. Will try again tomorrow.
What (sometimes) helps me in situations like that is exercise in a gym and a plan for the day that includes leaving the house. Most days are though tough.