Last winter it was really dry and cold and my ass cheeks started itching. I, of course, scratched them. I apparently scratched too hard as I developed welts on both ass cheeks. The welts itch and I can’t stop scratching because I have no self control apparently.

I use lotion multiple times a day, I’ve used benadryl itch cream. Nothing seems to work. The itch is greatest after my workout and when I get in the shower. I thought maybe it was water temperature related, but I’ve gone from hot to cold and still itch like crazy.

I apparently need a cone of shame for my ass.

Anyone faced this before?