I thought I wanted to study piano, which means at least a bachelor. To this end I started saving and 6 months ago spent $40K on a small grand piano that I only play sometimes. I always relied on school and church pianos to play, but these are old, overplayed, cannot be properly tuned (old), the sound is awful and the mechanic too hard. Now at least I have my own grand.

The next logical step would be to stop working full time, work 20 to 30 hours a week to free time to practice, hire a teacher to prepare repertoire and music theory for a year, pass an admission exam, keep working part time and studying piano, end the bachelor, then rethink my life.

But I’m blocked: I’m scared of wasting money (teachers for instrument and music theory would cost at least $4.5K for the whole year, 2 hours each week).

I’m also not really sure I want to work part time: I’d earn half what I do now and while it would still be enough to cover my monthly costs, I’ve grown used to sleep, go to work, work, buy groceries, go back home, cook, eat and relax. I’ve grown lazy and sometimes don’t recognize myself.

The easy way here would be to forget about studying piano, play my instrument exclusively as a hobby, keep working full time a job I’m not passionate about but it’s solid and pays my bills and that would be it. I’m also in a union, so I’d have to do something outrageous to be fired.

But I sometimes hate myself for being so lazy and wonder, how come I cannot step out of this rut?

  • Redfox8@mander.xyz
    3·
    3 months ago

    What exactly are you trying to acheive by studying an instrument? Why did you choose to learn beyond hobby level?

    Your approach sounds like you see it akin to training in a skill for a job. Spend the time and money on it and at the end you can play as well as 95% of people. But then you got bored/lost direction as you didn’t go so far as to do this as a new career so there was no end goal. Looking at the kind of money you think you need to spend, that sounds like professional level stuff (hint, a 40k piano will not improve your ability! But must be nice to play!)

    It is hard, and not for everyone, to practice so much. I really enjoy playing the piano, but can never find the time or energy or drive to spend the time to learn to even a half decent level. Lessons would help me, but I’ve never found myself in a place to go for it. Which I accept. I’ll never play any Franz Liszt!

    I don’t get the impression music is enough of a passion for you to get a lot out of ‘studying’ as you said you dont want to work part time to do so. So my advice would be to keep practicing and push yourself to learn new music as much as you enjoy it and maybe have some lessons to keep you on track . Maybe studying will suit you later in life, but not at this time.

    You also don’t sound lazy btw! Like i said, it is hard work, especially alongside a job, but doesn’t quite sound like it’s rewarding enough for you.