So this dude is basically a 46 year old man child and I don’t wanna armchair diagnose people, but he’s probably on the spectrum.
He’ll say a pun or a “funny” phrase, stare at you till you acknowledge it, then when you do, he’ll just keep saying it over and over. Even if you don’t acknowledge it he’ll say it a bunch then switch to a new one.
He’s obsessed with making fart noises then pretending it’s someone else he’ll even do it while we’re eating lunch. I’ve tried the politely asking him to stop he just says “oh you know I’m just joking” then when I tell him its genuinely annoying he goes full kicked puppy and acts super sad for a few hours and gets all woe is me saying stuff like “oh well I guess everyone hates me I’ll just shut up forever”. Sometimes he even goes full non verbal and literally just tries to communicate by pointing and or writing notes.
It’s not like he’s an asshole he a genuinely good guy he’s good at his job and he’s got your back when you need it.
I guess I just have a hard time finding the balance between not being an ass to a guy with zero social skills and losing my sanity because he can’t be quiet for 5 minutes.
If you genuinely mean what you said at the end: he’s a good guy, he’s good at his job, and he’s got your back.
Then just practice Zen, don’t let him get to you, you only interact with this person socially at work, you could skip the lunches, you could just ignore the things he’s doing. But where it counts he’s got your back.
Developing the perspective, and the life skills, to just let temporary inconvenience slide off of you or even not matter to you, is a great life skill that has lots of benefits.
That’s been working for the past two years but I feel like I’m reaching the end of my patience.
Your options
A. Talk to him directly, frankly, like you would to somebody on the spectrum. See if they can modify their behavior
B. Talk to HR, who will try to scare him, and may eventually fire him
C. Change departments or find a new job, then you don’t have to deal with him.
You said they’re a midlife adult, it’s going to be hard for them to modify their personality. If you’re okay with them getting fired then go with option a than b. If you’re not okay with them getting fired go with option a then c.
Best of luck!