Someone recently told me that they sometimes feel gaslighted around me because I effortlessly make them question their beliefs and feelings. Hearing that didn’t sit well with me, especially since I’ve been pondering the question in the title for quite some time.
I’ve always been quite critical of myself and don’t consider myself a very nice person. When I discover that someone doesn’t enjoy being around me, I don’t blame them one bit. It’s not like I’m intentionally mean or abusive; quite the opposite, actually. I have very strong morals. However, this includes things like not lying, which means I always speak the truth, even if not everyone likes hearing it. I don’t conform to many social norms expected of me.
Despite all of this, I have deep relationships with several people and especially the elderly and for example the parents of my past girlfriends have all liked me a lot. But I can’t help but wonder why they don’t see me as I see myself. I worry that I’m hiding the true me so well that people don’t actually like me, but rather the facade I unknowingly maintain. Then again, a true psychopath probably wouldn’t be second-guessing themselves in this manner.
Sociopaths are quite often like this, blunt, moral and intelligent. They’re moral out of logic instead of empathy, and I’m not convinced it ain’t better.
That’s interesting. I’m definitely capable of feeling empathy but my morals are firmly tied to logic and reason. That’s why they’re so universal and I don’t put them aside even when it’s about a person I don’t (or shouldn’t) like. This inconsistency driver me crazy about some people. They might for example present themselves as a kind and compassionate person but then they read an article about someone they don’t like and all decency goes out the window and they start writing horrible comments about them. The inverse of that is when I remain calm and measured about something and give people the benefit of the doubt then all of a sudden I’m the bad person for not getting angry about something that I don’t even have all the facts on.