Well he says it’s a puddle of piss

I hate bugs. I hate everything being full of bugs and flies and the trash cans outside stink like poop in the heat. I hate having bug babies everywhere. I hate having a deadly lazer above me so that I can only choose between burning myself alive, wearing disgusting cream, or covering up like crazy and sweating even more. All the food goes bad instantly. The food in the supermarket is infested with flies. I wake up at 4 am because stupid Altbau doesn’t allow for proper outside blinds. I hate that it’s either fucking up the environment even more by using AC or heat stroke. I also hate overdone AC in buildings that gives me a cold. Have you ever had a feverish cold during summertime? It’s awful. And makeup, you cannot do makeup in the heat without it becoming a smudge of sunscreen, color, oil and sweat. Have I mentioned the bugs and caterpillars and maggots and larvae and everything, everything is alive? And then, when it rains and everything cools down for a bit, you get earthworms.

You know what’s amazing? Cold ass dry snowy winter days. Bug free heaven.

Oh God that took me way too long

My dad is… complicated, and I could tell a lot of insane stories. But the memory that is haunting me is how he said “we won’t wait when war starts”, in Russian. It made no sense. I overheard it as a part of some conversation with my mother (maybe other grown ups as well) when I was a kid and I asked what he meant and he claimed he didn’t remember saying that. I believe him that he didn’t remember. But it was odd, it’s not something he would say. Neither he, nor my mom, nor their friends are political people talking about war, ever. It was said casually, but no one ever casually talked about war or politics over here. This was 25 years ago. I kept thinking about it for years and years again, trying to grasp what it meant, what it might have meant, and why it stuck with me so much, why I couldn’t get it out of my head, why I couldn’t let it go.

It was also painfully screaming in my head when Russia attacked Ukraine in 2022. It’s like it was an eerie foreshadowing but I still don’t know. I have so few memories of my childhood, why did this one stay? Why do I see and hear him say this? What did he mean with “we won’t wait”? Did he mean we won’t wait for the war to start or we won’t wait when the war will have started? Both are possible interpretations in the Russian wording. What are we waiting for? Are we still waiting? What should we be doing?

I keep going back to this one stupid sentence and this memory is ringing in my ears. What does it want to tell me to do? I know I need to do something, I just can’t figure out what.

Thank you. I was really confused and had to read it a couple of times. A first read made me think the dad started jerking off with an octopus and this went downhill.

Meryl Streep. Oh God Meryl Streep

Apart from the meatballs (and maybe bacon) this sounds like a good pizza to me. I like just a little bit of cheese on my pizza and if I put this in the special order it is like they don’t believe me and add extra cheese. I also like to go heavy on the sauce and add garlic. Did your place have garlic without butter?

To be very honest I just like Pizzabrot but I think they only sell this in Bavaria (whelp).

I got a kid but not a car. Just walking to the kindergarten and back twice a day is movement. We spend a lot of time outdoors at playgrounds or parks and I have to do all the grocery shopping by bike or walking. I don’t do other physical exercise admittedly, but this kid is a fitness machine. We be running, playing, I need to lift her, carry her, carry her stuff, clean up, wrestle - for real having a kid made me the most physically fit and active I’ve ever been.

When I was younger I liked to dance. Trying to lose weight I’d just put headphones on in my room and dance for hours. A friend of mine actually lost a crapton of weight this way, think obese to normal weight.

Also, making a kid (and training for it and reenacting it) is great exercise.

No, the people you mentioned are fine. I think it is something with the nose-chin-cheek combo that I find appalling.

For Jennifer Lawrence it’s a separate thing, we have many similar features (like fat cheeks and hooded eyes) and it creeps me out too much and I get insecure watching her. I keep thinking how weird I must look and reevaluate my makeup the whole time, it’s too stressful.

I also have a thing where I can’t stop thinking of rooster anuses whenever I see Kevin Bacon (his mouth).

I want to emphasize that none of this is meant in a mean spirited way and those people are beautiful the way they are. It’s my brain that makes these associations and I very much disapprove of them.

I have that face thing with Patrick Swayze and Meryl Streep. And the girl from Dirty Dancing. I am working on getting over Jennifer Lawrence’s face. All these people are surely somewhat good actors but there is something about their faces that I cannot stand and it makes it impossible for me to focus on the plot. I just made it through Silver Linings Playbook today, finally, it was hard but I am glad I managed, Lawrence did a good job and I forgot about her face for almost 30% of the time. One day I will manage to watch more than 15 minutes of Dirty Dancing.

My alcohol addiction

Tbh I struggle to come up with an actual good and not just mediocre movie that Tom Hanks was in.

Adding to the trash list: Incredibly loud and extremely close. They massacred the book.

He is in this abomination of a book adaptation for Incredibly loud and extremely close.

I’m sorry but… Most of them? Especially since it’s his performance that has become poor. He is playing himself more and more. A similar thing happened to Johnny Depp. Look at both of them in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and then at stuff like Great Gatsby, Wolf of Wall Street, Shutter’s Island, Django / Willy Wonka, Pirates of the Carribean, Shadows, Transcendence. The acting and characters are so similar and they don’t give an effort anymore (or try to, and absolutely overdo it).

(Sorry I somehow incorporated a Johnny Depp rant in a critic of DiCaprio, their story of decline is just too similar to me. And Gilbert Grape is an amazing movie.)

How about we collect the potential inheritance of everyone that passes and then divide it equally to everyone who became 18 that year. Or it goes to a government fund that pays for a 30k bonus to everyone turning 18 (or 25, etc).

I am seeing this myself. I grew up in a Munich suburb and everyone was growing up in houses except my migrant ass and the other migrant asses, we were in rented apartments. Then, when we became young adults, guess who didn’t have to pay for rent, who was rather worryless about their housing situation long term? Because everyone knew they would inherit the houses that were surging in value and are now between one and several million euros worth.

Now I am getting older and am friends with refugees. You want to tell me that the daughter of the guy who worked himself off after leaving Afghanistan at age 15, learning German but only managing to get a salesman apprenticeship, deserves nothing as inheritance? Because this is what it is going to be. His parents have worked their asses off raising 9 kids in a small home, they had no money but they gave it all.

We are all in our very early 30s and we can already extrapolate how differently our financial situations, our security nets, and our children’s security nets will be. And we are lucky living in a social democracy.

In a way, you just took my virginity. It’s the first time it’s genuinely happened to me, I didn’t see this coming. This is a great feeling but I also feel a bit ashamed.

I even remember the moment I heard. My husband came to me and our baby, we were playing on the bed, it was a Thursday. He asked if I had heard yet. I asked what, and he told me that Russia attacked Ukraine. It felt so surreal. It felt like being held at gunpoint to r*pe your sibling.

We don’t live in Russia or Ukraine, but we have close friends and relatives in both countries. For about a week I couldn’t concentrate on our daughter. My head was somewhere else which felt awful, but was also the first time I had allowed myself to think about something else and not give her 100% of my attention. We went to demonstrations (well who cares) and kept doom scrolling, which felt more urgent, more necessary to stay in touch with what is happening. We realized how we didn’t see the obvious for years. Which was very painful, since my husband was always interested in politics, also back when he lived in Russia, and got me into being more political myself. We were way too naive about it.

We kept asking our friends and family how they were, what they planned to do. Some fled immediately. Some a bit later. Most stayed. With time, the imminent feeling of threat and impending doom numbs down to low key anxiety. So many years down the drain. So many futures waisted. They stole their futures.

I remember I kept telling my daughter “one day we will tell you about a war between our countries that lasted for 1 day when you were a baby”. 2 days. 10 days. 30 days. I stopped counting at 100.

Now I just hope we will have time to go there. Will my grandparents be able to see their great granddaughter? Will she meet her grandpa in Russia? Will she ever be able to play with her cousins in rural Ukraine? I had planned to spend summers there, to get to know this side of my spouse’s family, and hoped she would get to learn some snippets of Ukrainian there. That’s how he knows the language. And now I just hope that his cousins will not die. The fat one lost about 2/3 of his body weight so far. I’m not surprised being in the military does this to you.

Damn I even remember the pigeons. That stupid pigeons. We had pigeon problems on the balcony and in March 2022 they built a nest and it had eggs in it. But the day prior they bombed an orphanage. Or a children’s hospital? Or a maternity ward? God these assholes bomb everything, don’t they. And I cried and we couldn’t do it, we couldn’t bring ourselves to remove the eggs. We had freaking pigeon babies with incredibly proud pigeon parents who were, btw, super progressive, crazy emancipated pigeons, both were looking for the eggs and babies equally. We gave them names when they hatched and watched them grow older. And then fuck nature, about two weeks before they would have left the nest, a fucking crow ate Hittin first, and poor Putler was so, so scared, and we tried to shelter him and even lifted the rule of no feeding no water, but then the next day, he was dead as well. The parents were devastated. We were devastated. We were powerless. We still are. We couldn’t protect them. We couldn’t make a change even when we tried. We were powerless.

The universe stood still, and then it started going with a different pace and in another direction than before.

Not sure where I am going with this, I think I’m just grateful someone else found this moment… Majorly significant.

Damn we have similar goals but different reasons. I want to have been on all continents and I am obsessed with going to Antarctica. If I had the money, I would want to stand on the planet’s axis. And have the whole world actually revolve around me. Doing this on the North Pole too would be great, but it’s not a continent and therefore has second place.

And now, can you elaborate the weird stuff the sun does at the poles? Besides polar night and polar day?

When my husband moved to Germany from Russia, he had no idea whether he was vaccinated as a child or not (he very likely was, but there weren’t records he was aware of and his mom died early). So he went to the doctor’s to ask for titers. They said they could test that but he would have to pay out of pocket, and offered to just vaccinate him again for free. He went through all the children’s vaccines - including chicken pox, which wasn’t around when we were kids (90s). It is the simpler, more accessible, and cheaper alternative to titers.

Yeah now try being absolutely unknowledgeable when it comes to tech and very much into makeup, skincare, 90 day fiance and parenting content. Lemmy, it’s been nice, but after one and a half years I started lurking to Reddit every once in a while again.