Exchange contact info with someone after the accident then that someone is extremely petty. That’s my guess.

Aspartame has about the same amount of calories as sugar (4kcal per gram). But it’s much more sweet so you need very little of it. So there is a very tiny amount of sweetener which does contain calories but it’s rounded down to 0.

“Sure, you can do everything it does with a phone”

No, you can’t do everything with a phone. A phone doesn’t have the same radios, GPIO for expandability, IR transceiver, etc. Not to mention the radios a phone does have doesn’t like it when you start forcing it to do fun things.