on International Day Against Transphobia no less! I feel the struggle too

wow aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.

what does that have to do with deadnaming people?

I guess you’re the expert here since you Googled a condition & now you know everything there is to know about it, right?

let me break it down. over 12 years ago when I was diagnosed, among the better-known symptoms like mixing up numbers, “misremembering names” (especially those that start with the same letter/sound) was a frequently published symptom of dyscalculia (and dyslexia, FWIW):

fast forward to 2013, in the DSM-5 they changed the definition of dyslexia and dyscalculia, removed them as diagnoses and instead replaced them with a more general diagnosis: “Specific Learning Disorder”, which among other things now requires that a person is “unable to perform academically at a level appropriate to their intelligence and age.”

in my opinion, and this is just my non-professional opinion:

1. if I tell someone I have a “Specific Learning Disorder” they’ll generally have no idea what I’m talking about. it’s easier and feels more self-consistent to tell them the name of the condition I was diagnosed with, even if it’s outdated.

2. the new DSM-5 diagnosis doesn’t account for people like me who were able to excel academically despite difficulty with numbers and names. did I have to read numbers 10+ times to make sure I knew I had the right one? yes. do I still struggle immensely to do basic arithmetic in my head? absolutely. am I also a software engineer who sometimes has to work with numbers? yes. did I get straight A’s in all my math classes? yes. people with dyslexia and dyscalculia excel all the time by discovering and using their own coping mechanisms, so this diagnosis seems overly reductive to me.

again, I’m not a professional. is it possible that my symptoms which were previously attributed to dyscalculia are just a part of my ASD? sure. but I’m pretty sure if I said I have trouble remembering Elliot Page’s name because I’m autistic, people still wouldn’t know what I was talking about, and I’d have an even harder time explaining it. so there you go.

for real, I’m pro trans rights and I still sometimes accidentally deadname Elliot Page because I have dyscalculia. if you ban me for that aren’t you being ableist?

also yes context is very important.

if I say “when Caitlyn went by the name [X], and she used [Y] pronoun, [Z] thing happened to [Y]”, I assume I will still get banned for deadnaming even though I’m innocently adding clarity to a conversation.

to make things worse, if someone is trans and gender fluid, and I call them by a name or pronoun they used last time I knew about them, now I’ve committed a crime of which I had no knowledge.

this blanket condemnation of deadnaming is just dumb. it requires nuance.

You sound angry, my friend. You’ve been sold lies just like the right has. Putin and Xi Xinping have been succeeding at tearing this country apart from the inside out.

This is a very dangerous take, and it’s concerning how many upvoters you have, who are also not thinking critically.

You seem to be forgetting that liberals and conservatives in this country are all Americans. We are all on one team, and foreign interests wish to divide us and convince us that we are enemies, when we are not.

Watch this if you don’t believe me.

Conservatives need liberals to exist as much as liberals need conservatives to exist. The day this country’s tensions between conservatism and liberalism die is the day the USA ceases to exist. That tension is at the core of our republic, literally since its founding, and it’s what makes us great, unlike any other nation on Earth.

I wish more progressives would remember that.

As someone with ADHD, if I don’t workout at least once a week (e.g. walking to the gym & lifting weights for 30-60 mins) and get those endorphins, my mental health starts to noticeably decline, so yes.

huh?

I’m sure the therapist did say something like “think about forgiveness towards Taylor” and he, being delusional, interpreted it as “I need to write my feelings in a song and send it to her so she can finally understand why she caused me pain, and only then, if she responds positively, I’ll forgive her.”

Any person practiced in forgiveness knows the act doesn’t involve the other person at all, and isn’t conditionally based on them doing anything.

It is a choice you make internally within yourself, by accepting they have hurt you and choosing not to hold on to the negative feeling of resentment.

Viola Davis is often quoted as saying, “forgiveness is giving up hope that the past could’ve been different.”

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