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Cake day: June 24th, 2023

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  • I’m not a therapist, so this is just a guess, but the “scared you off” comments and maybe the hints at depression could be seen as manipulative, especially when he really never wanted anything from the relationship beyond the online attention. He made her feel guilty for not spending more time and energy on him while exaggerating his own interest in her. Perhaps in his previous relationships the manipulation went further. Your friend needs to know she is not at all to blame for the end of this relationship. Nor is she dumb for caring about someone more than they cared about her: you can’t always tell. But perhaps she will take from it the idea that she could ask for things that are important to her, like in-person contact or space to be doing something other than talking to him without being nagged, sooner in the process to be sure the other person is on the same page. Help her understand that whatever anxiety she felt to shore up his emotions should be at most a small part of their interaction. A relationship shouldn’t feel like a tomagatchi pet.








  • I don’t know, but last month three people in my family, including one who is on immuno blockers, caught swine flu from 2009 (verified by PCR) and did have cold-like symptoms, but no hospitalization or other complications and no longer than a week. We got it tested because one sick person is non verbal and has a history of pneumonia, so whenever she gets a bad cough I take her to have someone listen to her lungs and this time they opted to test for the strain. I kind of wish we could do that more often as it’s very interesting to know and see these things come around. They all had this year’s flu vaccine, which every year includes some h1n1 variant, as had everyone else in the house who didn’t get sick at all. So anecdotally and unscientifically, I would say Spanish flu is not a threat, especially if you’ve been getting flu vaccines every year.



  • The above description would fit many many circumstances that are not furry related or problematic at all. Saying “I’m a cat. no, really” or meowing or licking your hand would all fit that description, (except not really because the word anthropomorphic is used wrong), but don’t mean a person is a furry. Moreover these behaviors by themselves don’t cause any problems unless you imagine a bunch of other stuff that’s not included in this definition.

    So it is an overbroad law that allows prosecutors to apply it selectively and at the same time is very hard to defend against.

    A better definition for the purpose of the law would describe some behavior that actually causes damage to society, like disrupting class or arresting kids at school for saying they are a cat.

    A better definition of a furry would probably include some kind of pattern of behavior and the extent to which it impacts daily life, as here




  • A lot depends on the angle you are heading relative to the wind and how strong and variable the wind is and how easily you want to be able to steer or hold your course.

    The simplest case that I think you might be wrong is going down wind, especially in light air, you want the sail to catch the wind like a bag and direct it toward a central point to add all the vague forces into one direction instead of just twisting the sail one way or another. Like I didn’t think you actually want the wind hitting the outer edges of the sail straight on as this would just move the sail, not the boat.

    Stiff, even hard not cloth sails are useful to go into the wind at a slight angle, where they are optimized in shape like an airplane wing, and they even talk of the force generated as lift.