According to Carlin’s theory, 4 prayers to Joe Pesci (PBUH) should suffice for sainthood.

Joe Pesci: patron saint of smashing things with a baseball bat.

No, no they cannot.

It’s OK to be racist against agents if you’re an Aussie.

Tbf, they said ‘at least’.

I’ll bet a gay wedding cake he’ll lose the case.

I wonder if risotto pairs well with flamingo fillets.

Once upon a time, Stephen Colbert ('s character) uttering “It’s a well known fact that reality has a liberal bias” was regarded as satire. Now, I wouldn’t be so sure.

“I have instructed my staff to handle your information request, you have been charged a ‘contact information handling’ fee of 50 dollars”

LACK OF CAPS LOCK IS ALSO A DEAD GIVEAWAY !1!!

Btw also an awesome way of telling people you’re pregnant.

English letters

U_w0t_M8

Like arguing you had right of way from six feet under.

The title is phrased a little weird though, as if Ukraine is to be blamed for this cluster fuck of a situation.

Huh, I thought I recently read China accused the US of tricking China into invading Taiwan but that they won’t take the bait.

I guess this is what ‘not taking the bait’ translates to in Chinese?

“This is terrible, can someone please find Ja Rule ?”

She is still alive so she must’ve made a deal with the drugs cartel is a classic “Post hoc ergo propter hoc” fallacy. It is all speculation.

You have deduced incorrectly that I have any thought about her whatsoever. I’m merely pointing out that your reasoning is flawed and therefore invalid.

I’ve got this tiger-repelling rock to sell you.

I’ve always had a pretty sinical view about the Chinese.