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Cake day: July 5th, 2023

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  • This isn’t a blanket statement, but I have, in the past, been introduced to women in my friend group, and talked to them like I would anybody else. But for whatever reason, they get the idea that I’m hitting on them. I can see it in their body language, the way they bring up their significant other (Like, really? I was just introduced to both of you 5 minutes ago?), among others. They make it out like “how could you be hitting on me?” and I’m like, asking about a band she brought up? I wasn’t even remotely attracted to her, I was just trying to be friendly, but her demeanor made it seem like she thought I was some insensitive asshole, and it hurt. I excused myself and just fuckin left. I had only gotten there like 20 minutes beforehand.

    Another time I was introduced to a woman while we were helping a friend move. This girl I was into (she ranted about recycling <3), and I was planning on asking her out once we were done for the day, but as we were talking, she mentioned her significant other, so I didn’t. After we’d finished loading something into the moving truck, I said “hey so, thanks for mentioning your significant other back there, saved me a bit of awkwardness haha.” To this, she took offense, and challenged me, “what do you mean? what are you talking about?” like, hands on hips, wide eyes, “how dare you” attitude… and I was dumbfounded. Here I was, thanking her for stopping me from embarrassing myself by asking out a girl that was in a relationship, and I was getting the third degree from it! At this point I didn’t know whether it would make the matter worse if I confessed I had almost asked her out, so I just blankly stared, mouth agape (dumbfounded, like I said). I eventually excused myself and went back to loading the truck. Avoided her like the plague since then.

    These were just two myopic incidents, probably lasted 5 minutes in total each, but it affected me in such a way that I basically cut myself out from the entire social circle, and only ever hang out with a guy friend that’s kind.

    However, I feel the need to add a disclaimer so you don’t get me wrong.

    I’ve also gone through a lot of personal growth recently, and in the endeavor to understand myself and my sexuality (Go Fightin’ Bi’s!), I’ve encountered scenarios that help me understand women better. I’ve had guy friends who only acted like my friend because they wanted to sleep with me. That hurts, and it makes me feel cheap. Once I tell them definitely “No,” or they realize I’m not interested, they stop interacting with me. It’s like, is that all I was in your eyes? Some thing to fuck? And even getting to the point where I’d tell these guys “No,” was excruciating! I don’t want to lose a friendship, or hurt them by saying “No,” I’m just not interested! Makes it hard to engage with my fellow LGBT peeps, when I feel like I’m just going to be pushed into hurting someones feelings. This led me to ghost some guys, and I’m not proud of it. That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it when someone is flirty or compliments me, that’s nice and can be a real ego boost! But when I’m using all my body language to say “thanks but no thanks,” and you are still uncomfortably close? or touching the small of my back like it’s nonchalant or something? fucking GROSS.

    Additionally, I have an elderly, disabled, female neighbor that I used to help out a lot. Whenever she needed something done around the house, she’d come over and I’d take care of it for her. She is an old pot head, so she’d even smoke me up! We’d pass a joint while watching Amos and Andy or whatever was on TV, it was a nice relationship. Then, once I became single, it got worse. Before, after I fixed her fridge, she wanted to give me a kiss on the cheek, and it came uncomfortably close to my lips. Then she started standing in the doorway while I came inside, so I’d have to press past her to get in. Then she’d touch my arm, leg, small of my back when I was doing chores for her. It got to the point where she would wait till I was high, and then ask how big my dick was, and if I’d let her go down on me. Just repulsive behavior. I’ve since stopped helping her, and always decline her offers to smoke, despite missing how we used to be.

    All of this to say, guys get sexually harassed, Guys get sexually abused, and Guys get unfairly depicted as predators in hurtful ways. But also, girls get sexually harassed, Girls get sexually abused, and Girls get unfairly depicted as cold honey pots in hurtful ways.

    What we should all do is try to be more kind.




  • Making the long drive back from where I grew up, to where I live now. about 1.5 hours into a 9 hour car ride. On a two lane highway going through some rolling hills, a grass median with a small metal divider separating the lanes. I am traveling up over a hill that rounds to the right, before turning back left and going down the hill on the other side.

    As I am heading to the right around the first corner, I see a burst of dust, following quickly by a large black SUV, that has lost control on the curve, ripped right through the metal barrier, and is headed directly at me. I swerve to the right (thankfully nobody was in the lane next to me), and this SUV barrels right past me, without a hint of slowing, missing me by inches. It would have been a 70 mph+ head-on collision, but instead it sailed right past me (and I mean sailed. it was airborne as there was a small ramp up to the highway from the median, I remember how the tires looked like they were outstretched, reaching for the ground, as it rocketed past me).

    I was shaking like a leaf for minutes, had to call my mom just to excitedly ramble at her until I calmed down. If I had gone up the hill any slower than I had, I wouldn’t have had time to swerve.


  • The Stockdale Paradox

    James C. Collins related a conversation he had with James Stockdale regarding his coping strategy during his period in the Vietnamese POW camp.[21][non-primary source needed] When Collins asked which prisoners didn’t make it out of Vietnam, Stockdale replied:

    Oh, that’s easy, the optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart. This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

    Collins called this the Stockdale Paradox.

    Damn, man





  • Point out the elected democrat official who was openly calling for violence against republicans? What rhetoric are they even talking about? Us calling them an existential threat to our democracy? If it wasn’t true, we wouldn’t say it. Saying that isn’t calling for violence, and proposing that it does is engaging in the same whataboutism that republicans always do. It’s BS. Republicans shooting republicans and somehow it’s progressives fault 🙄


  • If a company is too big to fail, and the loss of it would have serious ramifications for the country as a whole, then when faced with continued corporate malfeasance, they should NATIONALIZE the company. Oh, is this too important to be left to morons who issue stock buybacks amid layoffs while cutting corners in manufacturing/compliance? Then NATIONALIZE IT.

    Do it with boeing, do it with railroads, and do it with healthcare. I’m sick of these private corporations fucking over all of us repeatedly and NOTHING being done. They’re just left to do it again! No jail time, no consequences that they couldn’t easily afford, NOTHING.

    Boeing CEO’s

    -Thornton Wilson (68-86)

    -Frank Shrontz (86-96)

    -Philip Condit (96-03)

    -Harry Stonecipher (03-05)

    -James McNerney (05-15)

    -Dennis Muilenburg (15-19)

    -Dave Calhoun (20-Present)


  • I just can’t get into one-player games anymore. My little brother, who’s awesome in every way, got me these two great games for birthday and Christmas. Hades, and Witcher III: Wild Hunt. And I can’t for the life of me get into them. I want to play with other people! Also, I’m one of those people that wants to explore every little bit of the world before going to fight the boss, because I hate being under leveled for a fight. Leads me to explore for an hour, find a bunch of sweet stuff that definitely will help me later in the game, then I die to a pack of flipping wolves, lose all my stuff and have to start over. Did that a couple times then stopped.

    Started Hades, and the game started with blaring music that I couldn’t turn down. Nothing in the game controls was doing it, so I turned it off.

    Meanwhile I’m basically addicted to DOTA 2, and put over 1000 hours into SMITE just because that was a game my lil bro played. Soon as I got good enough to play SMITE with him, he stopped playing 😥


  • The defendants in that case were acquitted because the income of money from illicit sources could not be determined, according to a court statement.

    Sounds like the judge did their level best to find some random way to weasel out of doing their job. “Oh, wait, you can’t prove definitively that every single penny of the laundered money was from illegal sources? Guess that means everyone is innocent!”

    It can’t just be me and my perspective. The world is just legitimately getting worse, in almost every respect. WTF.






  • Friday marked 5 years of sobriety from alcohol for me, which was nice. Then on Saturday I went to my city’s pride parade. I asked a friend to come with me, and another friend if they wanted to play a round of disc golf afterwards, but both cancelled. This usually means I wallow in self-pity, but instead I got geared up in my gayest outfit, and enjoyed the festival anyway! it was like 100 degrees, but I was proud to see so many happy people having a great time in one of the most welcoming, accepting environments ever.



  • Wow. The video of the Greek official, denying everything during the official interview (whilst seeing video of a migrant woman and her child, forced onto a boat by armed men, who were then left in a dinghy to float towards Turkey), then caught with a hot mic during the break, talking to a colleague, saying:

    “I haven’t told them much, right? It’s very clear, isn’t it. It’s not nuclear physics. I don’t know why they did it in broad daylight… It’s… obviously illegal. It’s an international crime.”

    This migrant crisis will only get worse.