DOTA 2, man. Once you get past the massive learning curve, there is just so much to do in-game. Every match is entirely unique, with constant updates, tournaments, battle passes, and what have you. When I feel like disappearing, I disappear into DOTA.

My cars are usually named after old women, because I subconsciously relate older women with comfort and kindness. Gertie, and Mathilde.

in b4 it turns out she’s besties with gislaine

As if you needed further proof that this thing is the antichrist, he’s riding around the opposite of the pope mobile

The Dream: My mother gifted me an old, beat up RV to live in. It was filthy inside, rusted outside. I saw my aunt who wanted to see it and give me a house warming present but I told her No because it was so gross.

The Explanation: It’s because I have a very strained relationship with my family right now. They failed to step up to protect me when I was young, and then failed to show up again when I needed support as an adult (along with numerous times in between). They left me with trauma and fear and self-hatred without ever an apology or a modicum of empathy. It’s left me with the intense desire to be seen and to be loved, but at the same time an intense fear of being treated again like I was for so long. It’s left me opting out of most of life, because who would want to see such a disgusting, shoddy RV like me? And even if I do convince myself that someone might, what if they burn my RV down? Or come in and are repulsed because they don’t like what they see?

Actually…

study - https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1718793115

CNN article talking about the study - https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/13/health/falling-iq-scores-study-intl/index.html

Collin Farrel and Kristin Stewart.

They’re just not good actors. They’ve been in a couple good movies, but those movies succeed despite, not because of them.

Create art. Writing screenplays and books. Painting, gardening, working out, traveling, seeing live music, volunteer with whatever great organization I happen to be into at the time. Spend more time in my community. Have children.

The way I console myself is by saying that likely, the only way the US elects a true socialist democrat (AKA Bernie Sanders / AOC) that can bring about a Brand New Deal, is by having the pendulum of American politics first swing so far to the right, that everyone with a conscience is forced to get out and vote in retaliation.

But the idea that we could simply vote our way out of a rising fascist dictatorship seems a fleeting fantasy.

we’ve been given too much bread and too many circuses

For a while I celebrated the idea that we were in the “Golden Age of Television.” So many amazing shows, stories being told so exquisitely. But the more I think about it, the more that the ancient roman proverb of Bread and Circus seems more apt. I sit in front of a computer screen all day for work. On my breaks, I browse Lemmy on my phone. When I get off, I work out while staring at another screen in the gym. While making dinner I put on whatever NBA game is currently playing. While eating dinner I watch a show. After dinner I watch a comedy series while I eat dessert, occasionally browsing the internet simultaneously. My whole day, from when I wake up, to right before I go to bed, consuming content from a screen.

I wonder how many are like me, and how many of us are successfully using this constant stream of info- and entertainment to dull the pain of living like this. And what would it take for us to truly resist.

I think you’re right in that it would take hardship. We’re all mostly two missed paychecks away from our living standard collapsing, that could do it. But then that begs the question, how does one resist the rise of fascism? Because I’m beginning to think that voting may not save us when those in power are completely divorced from public outcry or consequences. When peaceful opposition is made impossible (or illegal on certain college campuses), when they round up and deport those that would publicly question their authority, when our elected leaders wring their hands in mocking frustration over all the nothing they’ve tried… well, perhaps violence is the answer after all. What other means have they left us?

My marriage. In all my past relationships, it usually takes me about as long as the relationship lasted to get my feet back under me, but in this case, that time would be 10 years, so I really hope it won’t take that long. I’m on year 4 now. I read somewhere that men take longer to get over romantic relationships, because usually their romantic partner is also their best friend, and mine was no exception. We broke up because we shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. I was in active alcoholism, and despite us both knowing that I wanted children, and she absolutely did not, we plowed ahead regardless. It seems stupid, but we truly loved each other. Heck, I guess we still love each other, we just have acknowledged that we’re not compatible in a way that severely limits our long term goals. It sucks. Logically, I should be able to just get right back on with dating, but it hasn’t been so easy.

There’s been multiple things standing in the way. First and foremost, some childhood trauma that had been trying to resurface for as long as I was an active alcoholic. Add that into a severely dysfunctional family dynamic, and you get a big ol’ mess that I’m only now starting to emerge from. I’m back to browsing tinder, and even though I do fine with matches, I just haven’t the energy to message anybody. Like, I just assume that they’re going to waste my time, and so I just sit by myself instead. I’m trying to become the person that would attract my ideal partner, so I’ve been putting extra time in at the gym, and have refocused on some hobbies of mine, like writing, and performing stand-up comedy. But even those seem like a chore sometimes.

The Ghost and Mrs Muir (1947)

I don’t know if this counts, but when I was little I’d go to friends houses, then later in high school to my first serious girlfriends house, and I remember their families were like… loving? I loved spending time at my girlfriends house especially, hanging out with her Mom and her Dad even if my gf wasn’t there. They were so nice, and you could tell had genuine affection for their children (and to some degree, me). I miss you Mr. and Mrs. Miller!

way to go attentive little league coach!

also wtf parents?

bro what? did you have a stroke?

Old books written by long dead men hold little sway over me

I agree, but that being said, vaccine mandates save lives, while “minding our own business” when it comes to super-spreaders of disinformation has had huge consequences in the sphere of public health (as well as many others).

I think student loan and healthcare debt is immoral. No civilized first world country should be bankrupting it’s citizens with debt from getting education or healthcare.

Hi I’m a New Old Hot Top, you summoned?

Prisoners of the ghostland would like a word