cobysev

Back when my wife and I were still dating, she found a cheap ring she loved. It was just a normal jewelry ring with her favorite stones in it, not a fancy engagement ring or anything. But she loved it so much, she told me that if I ever proposed to her, she gave me permission to steal it from her and re-present it as an engagement ring. Which I did.

I felt bad about it though. I took the ring to propose, but my plans fell through and it took me a few more days to arrange a new proposal plan. She had forgotten all about our conversation, so the whole time she was tearing the house apart, looking for her favorite ring. She loved that I “found” it and gave it back to her with a proposal.

My birth year is the same as the title of a dystopian future novel by George Orwell.

I LOVED books as a kid. I was reading at a high school level by the time I started kindergarten, and I just absorbed every book I could get my hands on. I would bring a 100-200 page book to school every day and would finish it before I got home in the afternoon.

I also enjoyed writing and would write my own stories. I was part of an organization in elementary school called Young Authors that encouraged kids to write, and I wrote 3 books through that group. It was my dream to be an author one day.

Then the Internet became a thing.

Suddenly, I didn’t need to spend hours in a library reading through dozens of books to find information I needed. I could just do a quick search on Infoseek, or Excite, or AskJeeves, and have a repository of knowledge at my fingertips. It was life-changing!

As the Internet evolved and more data got dumped on it, I started spending more time perusing its depths and less time reading physical books. I ended up getting a job in IT because computers fascinated me so much. Eventually, I realized I hadn’t picked up a book in years. Everything I wanted to read, I could find online.

Now here I am at 40 years old and my dream of being an author is gone. In our modern age, most people don’t read physical books anymore and authors don’t make enough to survive, unless they make it on a best-seller list or something. Even Stephen King is more well known today for his political commentary on Twitter/X. I haven’t heard much about any books he’s been writing in a long time.

I once wanted a library room in my dream home. I still kind of do, for the aesthetic. But I don’t really read physical books anymore, and I could only fill maybe a single wall with the books I currently own; mostly treasured classics from my childhood that have been stored away in boxes for years. I’d be better off having a PC gaming/theater room in my dream home, as that’s more where my modern interests lie.

I love the Internet age. It revolutionized my childhood and brought us into a wonderful age of information. But I can’t help but think about how completely different my life would’ve been if it hadn’t been invented. I sometimes wonder if I would’ve been more happy and/or successful in a world without the Internet.

I have a genetic predisposition to be a night owl. I proved it with a DNA test, comparing my results with actual scientific research on various genetic-related conditions. Plus, my mother’s side of the family always stays up super late every night.

Unfortunately, I signed up for the US military when I was 17 and they require you to get an early start every day. So I spent 20 years going to bed when I’m not tired and getting up at godawful early hours of the morning. I would basically get a lack of sleep for a few days until I was so tired, I’d pass out early and get a solid night’s sleep, then start the cycle over again. My days off were the only days I got to sleep in.

Now I’m fully retired and have nothing important going on each day, so I can finally let my body adjust to its preferred sleep schedule. I’m wide awake until 2-4 AM (sometimes later), then I sleep until 10 AM to 1 PM. It’s so nice not having to set an alarm anymore and naturally wake each day. I’ve never felt so rested!

“Main goal” sounds kinda like “mango.” OP was making fun of the way someone said “main goal” and didn’t realize his mic was unmuted.

They do that with Legacy IPs because most people say well I bought the first one I wouldn’t be a real fan if I didn’t buy the next one.

I hate how accurate this is. However, it can also hurt them because there have been many franchises I’ve refused to buy because I never played the first games and I don’t want to jump into the middle of a story I’m unfamiliar with. I’m a bit of a completionist like that.

I wonder if this is why a lot of games are no longer numbering their new releases and just giving them unique titles. So people don’t think of them as a series and are more willing to buy the latest releases.

On a related topic, I HATE how Call of Duty just made a totally new game and called it Modem Warfare, then started up a new franchise with MWII, MWII, etc. We already had Modern Warfare 1-3! It’s like they’re trying to erase/overwrite their old franchise so when people look them up, they just find the latest games. Very sneaky!

EDIT:

If I could develop a game where customers get nothing and you are required to pay them money. It would be the top funded game by every AAA publisher. Remember the people at the top and especially the shareholders don’t care about games.

This is where microtransactions and DLC (like useless character/weapon skins) come from. The customer gets practically nothing, but they pay the company so much money for it. There are tons of games that thrive on this model (especially mobile games) because selling microtransactions and extra downloadable content that’s just a recoloring of a skin makes way more money than just selling the base game.

Same here. I exclusively browsed Reddit via app on my phone and tablet. After watching my wife struggle with the official Reddit app, I decided I would never use it. So when that became the only option, I decided it was time to move on to Lemmy.

Besides, I’m very anti-advertisement and Reddit has turned very corporate lately, looking for every way to make a buck at our expense. So I’m done supporting that site. Information and community discussion should be freely accessible, not buried behind paywalls, awards, and advertisements.

They gave birth at home instead of in a hospital. Which means that there’s probably no record of the child’s birth and they haven’t gone through the process that usually gets you a birth certificate. So they’re deciding whether to go start that process for their newborn or not.

Isn’t that, like, the motto of all Sovereign Citizens?

I served in the US military. I was in the Air Force, but my profession was IT, so I spent my whole service working as a sysadmin.

You can officially retire and collect a pension after only 20 years served. I joined at 18, so I retired at 38 years old. Normally, a 20-yr pension isn’t enough to fully retire on, but I got a bit messed up during my service. The VA gave me a 100% disability rating, which includes a monthly pay bigger than my pension! Plus. My wife also served and was medically discharged with a 100% disability rating as well. So she gets the same medical benefits and pay as I do (minus a pension).

With all three sources of passive income, we can live without working. We’re not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but we pull in enough to live comfortably and have all our basic needs met.

Like I said, I could go back into the IT field and double my current income (or more), but then I’d be stuck working all the time again, and I don’t want to do that. The military was a 24/7 gig for 20 years. “Service Before Self” was one of our core values; we always had to prioritize the mission over our personal lives, and we could be recalled to work any time, day or night. So it’s nice to actually have some “me time” now, where no one can make me go anywhere or do anything. Not looking to go back to work and give that up so soon.

I did work in IT, but now I’m retired young. I could go back to work and make double my income, but I just don’t wanna. I’d rather have less income with a stable, comfortable life and the freedom to do whatever I want every day, than spend all day stuck in a job just to have no free time to enjoy the extra money I’d be bringing home.

Retired at 38 and living childless with his wife in the countryside… What will he do with the rest of his life? #7 may surprise you.

Yeah, that’s the one. Since I didn’t qualify for it, I didn’t pay much attention to it. They always just told us it’s kind of like a 401K, where you contribute up to a certain amount and the govt matches your contribution.

If you have a government job, pensions are still very much a thing.

I just retired from a government job 2 years ago (US military). I received a pension, but only because I was grandfathered into the old pension plan. The military stopped giving out pensions in 2017. They switched to the BRS (Basic Retirement System), which is basically their version of a 401K.

When they switched, they gave all service members with less than 12 years of service the option to switch to the BRS or stick with the old pension program. Anyone who joined after the switch doesn’t get a choice. They’re automatically enrolled in the BRS.

I had 15 years of service at the time, so I didn’t qualify for BRS. It wouldn’t have benefited me anyway; there’s no way I could’ve saved up enough money to retire on in my 5 remaining years. I much prefer my monthly direct deposit for the rest of my life.

My wife has access to my password database. If I go before her, she’s in charge of going through all my accounts and shutting stuff down.

My father actually just passed away a few months ago. I had convinced him to use unique passwords for everything, but he couldn’t keep track of them all, so he just wrote them all down on a piece of paper that he kept on his computer desk. When he passed, my sister took a photo of his password sheet and we both have been going through his stuff, closing accounts, transferring money, notifying his social media accounts of his passing, etc.

For the record, my dad had a Trust set up, with my sister as the executor of the Trust, so we’ve already talked about money stuff (even with my dad while he was still alive) and we’re both in agreement. And we’re both decent people, so there’s no complications with dividing his estate or anything. My sister is in charge of all his finances, and she’s been very straightforward with me about what he had and how it’s being divided up.

EDIT: If my wife goes before me, I would probably give my sister access to my password database. She and I are pretty close, and I’d trust her with that access.

Serious drift racers don’t do that. Yes, there is a subculture in Japan who loves to deck our their vehicles with body kits and LED lighting and heavy sounds systems. But mostly for show, not for racing.

I was comparing Tokyo Drift’s idea of Japanese drift racing with reality. That film is just Hollywood trying to make drifting look sexy and sleek. In reality, it’s just a bunch of nerds who find ways to shave every little ounce off their vehicles to improve results in their calculations and charts. Body kits, neon-colored lights, and beefy sound systems are just added weight.

I mean, throughout the course of the Fast & the Furious film franchise, the main characters go from illegal street racing punks to international spies, saving the world from global threats. So you really shouldn’t be looking to those films for any sense of reality anyway.

Initial D!

Also, that technique has no real-world application. The father told him to try and make the water spin in the cup instead of splashing back and forth. But that’s not possible just from driving a vehicle, no matter how you drift corners.

I lived in Japan back when that anime TV show was releasing, and I can tell you, it’s pure fantasy. Although it’s much closer to real Japanese street racing than that awful Tokyo Drift film. That film was basically American street racing with Japanese actors. Actual Japanese street racers are science, math, and physics nerds, pushing the boundaries of their cars for the fun of it. Not hardened gangsters or Yakuza wannabes, decking their cars out with neon lights and massive spoilers and body kits. Hollywood invented their own concept of drift racing for that film.

Healthy: Discussing and evaluating goals, dreams, desires, etc. and coming to a mutually beneficial agreement or understanding on a way forward.

Unhealthy: Being told your dreams/goals/desires/etc. are not reasonable and to give up on them (or change them to the benefit of your partner) for the sake of a continued relationship.

Yes, sometimes to do have to give up on a dream due to changing situations, and it sucks, but it should always be your decision. If someone gives you the ultimatum (choose me or your dreams), there’s no room for discussion or true compromise.

How long have you gone without being in a romantic relationship?

The first 13 years of my life

How much time have you spent being single?

The aforementioned 13 years, plus sporadic times in my teen years and early adult years. I’ve been in a relationship with my wife since I was 21.

If you’re currently single: is it by choice or circumstance?

N/A

Do you / did you enjoy single life?

Yes, to a certain degree.

What are / were the pros and cons?

Pros:

1.) I was in control of my own life. I could just decide to do something - anything - and then just do it.

2.) Didn’t have to keep track of finances. If money disappeared from my account, it was because I spent it.

3.) If opportunities to be intimate with someone arose, I could go with the flow and see where the night takes me. I didn’t have to commit to anyone if I didn’t want to.

Cons:

1.) Loneliness. No one to spend your time with.

2.) No one to bounce ideas off of, or introduce interesting plans or events into my life. It made planning for things harder, and encouraged me to be a lazy/messy couch potato instead of going out and being productive.

Is / was partnership a goal of yours?

Yes.

If you’re currently not single: Did your goals change after getting into a relationship?

Yes, relationships are compromise. Your goals will change. But it may be for the better or worse, depending on your partner.

What are the pros and cons?

Pros:

1.) No longer alone.

2.) I’ve been married to my best friend for 15 years, so every day is fun and exciting.

3.) My wife encourages me to get out and do stuff. I’ve been on trips across Europe, Asia, and America. I’ve been on 3 separate luxury cruise lines; one in the Mediterranean and two in the Caribbean. Without my wife, I would’ve just stayed home and missed out on all those life experiences.

4.) I have shared hobbies with my wife, so I always have a partner for the fun things I want to do.

5.) We also have separate hobbies, so when one of us needs alone time, we both can focus on something we want to do without the other for a while.

6.) We’re more productive together. Alone, we’d just veg out and watch TV or doom scroll the Internet. But together, we can discuss various topics and explore new and fun things together.

7.) Getting laid is easy (unless you’re partner makes it difficult). No more prowling clubs/bars or dating apps and settling for someone just to get your rocks off. You have a willing partner at home who, if you’re in a healthy relationship, should be willing to get down with you most anytime. And you know their sexual history, so no worrying about getting an STI or something.

8.) If you’re in a healthy relationship, you have someone who you can truly be yourself around. You won’t need to put on a mask and pretend to be someone you’re not. It’s quite liberating to have someone who sees you at your worst in the privacy of your own home and still wants to be with you.

Cons:

1.) Every major decision needs to be audited by my partner. I can’t just decide to do something; I need to run it by my wife first. I’m in a healthy relationship, so I can just decide to do stuff on my own all the time and it’s not a big deal. But my relationship is also healthy because I include my wife in my planning, even if she’s not going to be involved. I don’t just run off to “hang out with the boys.” I give her opportunities to be involved, and if she chooses to stay at home instead of come out with me, that’s totally her decision. Or if she needs a night in with me, I cancel plans to spend time with her. I spend enough time with her that it’s not a big deal if I want to go do something on my own every now and then.

2.) I’m legally committed to this relationship (marriage), so if a better opportunity for a relationship comes along, I can’t just see where it takes me. My options are to cheat, or go through a lengthy divorce process before proceeding. Or do nothing and remain loyal to my spouse. It’s too risky/costly to attempt the first two, so I just don’t bother looking for other opportunities. I vowed to be loyal, so unless my wife makes my life a living nightmare, I’m sticking with her until the end.

3.) Aligning life goals can be difficult if you didn’t talk it out before committing to a serious relationship. And in the early years of a relationship, who wants to discuss the rest of your life together? It’s easy to get invested in someone whose life plans don’t match up with yours. So you have to live with compromise. Some dreams, you have to give up. Same goes for your partner.

4.) Unless your partner is responsible with finances, expect to have trouble keeping track of your money. Or just maintain separate bank accounts. Hopefully your partner isn’t a golddigger. My wife cares more about spending time with me than spending my money, so we have a healthy relationship. And there’s nothing wrong with spending money on someone you love. But if it seems like your partner only cares about your money and will leave you if/when the money dries up, it’s better to leave that relationship as soon as possible.

5.) Relationships are a gamble. You never know if it’s going to go smoothly, or if your partner is just using you for something until a better opportunity passes by. Hopefully you have a healthy relationship, and the cornerstone to that is trust and communication. But there are always master manipulators out there who will convince you that you need to stay in a relationship with them, even if it doesn’t make you happy. They’ll convince you that being lonely is worse than being in a broken/abusive relationship. If your partner starts isolating you from friends/family and doesn’t let you make decisions, you’re in an abusive relationship and need to get out immediately!

As a Midwesterner, Marcus Theatres are my go-to.

It used to be a regular, boring theater when I was a teenager. Get popcorn, candy, and/or soda and sit in a slightly cushioned fold-down seat. But I left home for nearly a decade, and when I came back, I was surprised to discover I could order a full meal from my seat and have it delivered to me while I watched my movie.

Not to mention, the uncomfortable chairs with the fold-down seats were replaced with actual reclining lounge chairs. They come in pairs, so when I go see a movie with my wife, we can lift the arm rest between our seats and cuddle while watching.

I don’t drink, but a highlight for my wife is the bar in the lobby, where she can get a nice mixed drink to take into the theater. I’m personally glad for more food options besides candy and popcorn. Their hotdogs are really good. On Tuesdays, they provide smaller hotdogs, but they’re only $5 for Marcus rewards members.

Back in the day, I preferred to show up to the theater at least 30 minutes to an hour early with a good book. I’d buy my ticket, pick out my ideal seat in the theater, and then read my book until my film started. It was a quiet and peaceful time, with no distractions.

Nowadays though, most all theaters reserve seats. It’s not first-come, first-served anymore. I have to go on the Marcus Theatres app and buy tickets at least a week in advance if I want to ensure my ideal seats are available. With a much-anticipated movie, if I don’t reserve tickets the day they’re made available, I might have to wait a couple weeks after it releases to get decent seating. It’s nice that I don’t have to show up super early to snag good seating anymore; I can practically show up right as it’s starting and I know my seats are guaranteed. But I miss the quiet downtime, waiting for my film to start.

Speaking of which, I don’t get to experience quiet theaters anymore because of all the ads they play. When I was a kid/teenager, theaters only played movie trailers before a film. Maybe they might have some film trivia running before trailers start, but that was it. The theater was quiet and peaceful while you waited for your film to start.

Now, we have to sit through ads for cars, ads for banking services, ads for all sorts of things. I just want to watch some trailers and then my film; I don’t need insurance ads shoved in my face on the giant screen.

Also, it feels like so many films are being crammed into time slots that I can’t show up early for my movie anymore. If I get there 30 minutes early, there’s still a film ongoing in my theater room. It ends maybe 15 minutes before mine starts, then I have to wait outside for the cleaning crew to run through the theater first before I’m allowed in. Then I get maybe 5-10 minutes to relax before my movie starts. It just makes me feel more rushed. The theater used to be my zen place; where I can relax and not worry about anything else in my life for 30+ minutes before a showing. Now I don’t have time to mentally decompress before my film starts.