Speaking as one of the “everyone else”, it’s not just a pass on the kitchen, but a deal-breaker for the entire house. I look at this and all I see is so many of my weekends being wasted getting it to a state that my wife and I would even consider acceptable.
Liquid Neutrogena followed by Aveeno moisturizer in the shower.
Stridex pad periodically throughout the day if my face starts to feel oily.
I used to have a whole shave routine that included Proraso and Old Spice, but the ritual started feeling less zen and more like a chore so I don’t really do it much anymore.