All the signs of becoming sentient

From the tip of your right thumb to your left nipple. Too sensible?

That’s [greengrocer’s apostrophe](greengrocers apostrophe https://g.co/kgs/1gWQ9nT)

When people ask me where I’m from and the question is justified, I tell them and briefly describe the geographical position of my very small homeland. If anyone asks just to be nosy, I say I’m legal and stare them down. When the race is relevant like in GPs office, I’m white European/other. All depends on situation I’m asked.

14 years ago when I was still relatively young and liked clubbing, a song popped up and swept all the playlists in my country. Clubs, radio stations, you name it. Catchy French song. It came and went so fast that I didn’t manage to memorise it. That was long before I even dreamed of having a smartphone. When I moved to UK a year later, nobody had any idea what song I’m trying to describe, like they never heard it.

Probably around 8 years ago I was roaming the streets of Porto with my ex, and a shop we passed had the song blasting from the speakers. Praise the smartphones, I used ‘what’s the song’ app and et voila: Stromae - alors on danse

I’m a trained chef working the trade for 30 years. 2 years in vocational school, a year for cooking and a year for bakery/patisserie. I’m a really confident cook - the concept of different cuisines, the basic ingredients and seasonings, no probs. Baking is still a rocket science for me. My current head chef said baking is fun if you know what you are doing but I’m still after 30 years not fully confident about the consistency.

I work in multinational company and I can say ‘thank you’ in 6-7 languages. I say abrigado to a Polish guy and spasibo to the Italian just for fun

Pain causes pupils to dilate, so slip a thumb tack in your shoe, establish eye contact and lean on it. Boom, heightened pulse, dilated pupils. Also works to cheat the lie detector.

Doc Martens got sold and moved the production to Asia. The dip in quality is very noticeable.

The people who used to produce Doc Martens now work for the company called Solovair. I haven’t tried their stuff butt apparently they’re as good as Doc Martens used to be.

UK, London

Echolalia?

My friend uses three separate alarms because the smartphones let you do this. For her they are not just wake up alarms but also the key points of the morning- first one: you have 10 minutes to get out of bed. Second one: make the cuppa and get to the shower. Third one: now the work related messages and calls may start.