Did they let you in without the thumb print or were you left out then?

I never saw my parents together so for embarrassingly long I believed they didn’t know each other at all.

I was a flower girl in my father’s wedding at the age of 7. Bet his missis wasn’t delighted but her crotch goblins were not out of the nappies yet. The party was fab tho, proper village long table with prolly about hundred people in the middle of nowhere with a lot of live music, food and vodka.

I was in my teens (living with my grandma the whole life) when my mother asked if I want to come to the nearest town for family photos on Saturday and I said yeah no, it’s sauna day you know. Turned out I missed my mother’s wedding because I had to wash my hair. Still joined them in the afternoon for my mom’s birthday and as it turned out the afterparty. So yeah, technically I have attended both my parents’ weddings.

All the signs of becoming sentient

From the tip of your right thumb to your left nipple. Too sensible?

That’s [greengrocer’s apostrophe](greengrocers apostrophe https://g.co/kgs/1gWQ9nT)

When people ask me where I’m from and the question is justified, I tell them and briefly describe the geographical position of my very small homeland. If anyone asks just to be nosy, I say I’m legal and stare them down. When the race is relevant like in GPs office, I’m white European/other. All depends on situation I’m asked.

14 years ago when I was still relatively young and liked clubbing, a song popped up and swept all the playlists in my country. Clubs, radio stations, you name it. Catchy French song. It came and went so fast that I didn’t manage to memorise it. That was long before I even dreamed of having a smartphone. When I moved to UK a year later, nobody had any idea what song I’m trying to describe, like they never heard it.

Probably around 8 years ago I was roaming the streets of Porto with my ex, and a shop we passed had the song blasting from the speakers. Praise the smartphones, I used ‘what’s the song’ app and et voila: Stromae - alors on danse

I’m a trained chef working the trade for 30 years. 2 years in vocational school, a year for cooking and a year for bakery/patisserie. I’m a really confident cook - the concept of different cuisines, the basic ingredients and seasonings, no probs. Baking is still a rocket science for me. My current head chef said baking is fun if you know what you are doing but I’m still after 30 years not fully confident about the consistency.

I work in multinational company and I can say ‘thank you’ in 6-7 languages. I say abrigado to a Polish guy and spasibo to the Italian just for fun

Pain causes pupils to dilate, so slip a thumb tack in your shoe, establish eye contact and lean on it. Boom, heightened pulse, dilated pupils. Also works to cheat the lie detector.

Doc Martens got sold and moved the production to Asia. The dip in quality is very noticeable.

The people who used to produce Doc Martens now work for the company called Solovair. I haven’t tried their stuff butt apparently they’re as good as Doc Martens used to be.

UK, London

Echolalia?

My friend uses three separate alarms because the smartphones let you do this. For her they are not just wake up alarms but also the key points of the morning- first one: you have 10 minutes to get out of bed. Second one: make the cuppa and get to the shower. Third one: now the work related messages and calls may start.